Golfing 101

This weekend we went golfing with my cousin and her husband. They have the actual shoes you should wear to play golf in and I just have running shoes with the cushy innersoles made of memory foam. My husband and I met through her husband way back in the day because they worked together. When we were first dating we would play miniature golf with them and quite honestly we beat them every time. I think I've even saved some of the score cards that are now yellow and practically turning into dust. Her husband is a big talker and I have plenty of attitude which is why we got along so fabulously when they were first married. None of us showed any golfing talent whatsoever this weekend,even the ones with the right shoes. My cousin and I got slapstick silly about the fact that her husband pruned every tree on the course. He did have a couple of good drives but unfortunately they slammed into the middle of a tree
trunk and bounced all the way back to the women's tee box! I laughed so hard I thought my ovaries would explode. On another hole he shot the ball through the trees and into the weeds. He diligently went hunting for the ball and when he came out of the briars his legs looked like he had been attacked by a pack of rabid cats and was probably facing a terrible case of cat scratch fever. I was afraid we were going to have to give him a transfusion right there on the golf course which only made everything even more hysterical.... (We're not laughing AT you we're laughing WITH you!) While we were cooling down at the house afterwards, he was trying to save face by saying that he could drive the ball 200 yards or more depending on who he was playing with.... "Oh! So now you're blaming us for the way you played?!" I laughed.... Oh, it wasn't that, he explained that when he plays with someone who takes it seriously, he plays so much better. My cousin and I looked at each other and laughed as we told him that WE WERE taking it serious.... And that he had seriously played bad!!! Poor guy.... Between the two of us he just can't win for losing. Golfing 101 is.... Never take yourself or anyone else too serious especially when my cousin and I are teamed up. We've always been two winning peas in a pod which is hard to top.

Herding Kittens and the Perfectly Depicted Petulant Persian

It can be a challenge to get all my adult children, their spouses and/or girlfriends/boyfriends all together at the same place and time to celebrate life's little moments. I have found it makes it easier, if we go to them instead of waiting for them to come to us. This weekend the life moment we celebrated was my youngest son's 19th birthday. Since they all work and two of them are in college and work, we were happy we found a time when we could get them all together. My parents got to join us and my son's girlfriends mom got to join us as well. The only two that were

Former squirmy toddler

missing was my brother and his wife. When the kids were growing up, we always carved pumpkins. Well, I say that, but my oldest son says I carved pumpkins while he ran up and down the streets, which sounds a tad more accurate because it was a challenge

The quiet one and his lady

to get him to sit still long enough to do much of anything. Rabbit trail warning, I'm sure if he was running up and down the streets in the fall, he most likely was barefoot as that was his usual attire regardless of how many neighbors called

Some serious tools

to tell me the exact temperature and ask did I know he was playing out in that kind of weather barefoot. What can I say? The boy liked naked feet, maybe it made him feel at one with nature, or the truth of the matter

Very focused work

was, he just couldn't be chased and held down long enough to get them on him and as a parent of mediocre quality, I learned to pick my battle and the shoe battle was one battle I opted out of. Back on track..... We gathered at my daughter's apartment which is pretty dang small when you get that many people in there. My Mother likes to be in the middle of everything, but finally I

Make a wish

convinced her to take a seat, because there was no room for her to be in the middle of. My Dad who has no clue he is severely ADHD, did great. Much like my son, he isn't one for sitting around, but there were too many people in the apartment for him to pace so

So cute

he had no choice but to sit, relax and enjoy the chaos of it all. After a grilled burger dinner and birthday cake, we divvied up the pumpkins, brought out the tools and let our artistic juices flow. My husband went with the tried and true standard happy Jack, my Son and his wife went with a Harry Potter look alike and my Son and his girlfriend did

Daughter-in-law (Love her!)

a Persian Cat without a stencil. She is an amazing artist and did her masterpiece by looking at a picture on her phone. I went with a non- traditional scrolly heart, which I thought was very pretty until my daughter leaned over my shoulder and asked if I was carving a woman's reproductive organs. That's just wrong on so many levels. I worked and worked on it, but every scrolly thingie I carved, did kind of resemble a fallopian tube. Finally, I gave up and brought it home to modify and finish.... I'm still not sure I'm done with it yet, I don't want to sit it out on Halloween night only to be accused of  displaying inappropriate anatomy lessons to the neighborhood 5 year olds. Hands down the winner of the carving party was the Persian Cat. Our family has a soft spot for smushed faces anyway and the pouty pumpkin perfectly depicted a petulant
Persian. We had a great memory making day. When I got home, I felt like I had herded kittens and wrestled walruses, loving every minute of it.

The Cry of a Mockingbird

When we first moved into our home, the front porch was overgrown with giant cedars that barely left room to walk up the steps. Inside one of the cedar trees, a mockingbird had made her nest. We learned to duck as she guarded her nest with fierce determination as we entered the home with arms full of boxes. On the 2nd or 3rd night in the house, the doorbell rang at 3 in the morning. I sat straight up in bed like I had been hit by a bolt of lightening because the doorbell wasn't as much a doorbell as it was a buzz. It sounded like someone was being electrocuted, which in hindsight was a fairly good description since it caught on fire a couple of years later. I ran down the stairs and groped my way through the unfamiliar living room, dodging boxes and furniture. I peeked through the octagon window in the old wooden door and saw a young shirtless black guy standing on the porch looking over his shoulder. I cracked the door open a enough for him to tell me he had just been walking down the street when he noticed the dome light was on in our car and he thought I should come take a look at it. I asked him to wait as I ran upstairs to rouse my sleeping husband. At 3 in the morning, He needed to be shakened a little to get him to wake up so I said the most shocking thing I could think of to get him up and rolling.... I said.... "There's an Ethiopian looking guy who needs to talk to you like right now!"
My urgency wasn't contagious as he slowly got up and ambled downstairs. When he got to the door, the Ethiopian guy was very insistent he come out and see the car light. My husband finally persuaded him to leave and as he was walking down the steps, the momma mockingbird dive boomed the back of his head practically knocking him to the ground. He jumped up like he had been hit with a bat and ran as fast as his Ethiopian legs would take him. It was so funny! We waited until the nest was empty before we cut the tree down and hauled it away. Even with the nest empty and the tree gone, the momma mockingbird kept coming back, squawking and flying in circles where tree once stood. It was like she didn't know what to do with herself and it was heartbreaking. We moved my last little chick to the City this weekend and as we pulled into our driveway I thought of the momma mockingbird and her frantic cries.  The language she spoke makes perfect since to me 18 years after the fact.  All she had ever known was guarding her nest with fierce tenacity. Then one day she returned home to find no nest, no tree.  There were no little mouths to feed... No quarrels to settle, no tears to wipe.... Except her own. The branches of other trees in the neighborhood didn't feel the same.... They seemed... Well, they seemed a little shaky and not as comfortable as the one that held her nest. "Where do I go to from here? What do I do now?" She squawked, but sadly the night was silent and in that moment.... like it might never end....

P.S. If you look for me in the near future, I'll be the one lying in the corner in a fetal position.

Healing With Helping Hands

It's been a weird weather year in Oklahoma. We had chilly weather on and off for all of April. Between the chilly days, we had summer. Some nights we would use the heater and have to turn the air conditioner on by morning. I've lived here all my life, and it never fails to amaze me how the weather can turn in the twinkling of an eye. Much of May we had wearable weather. The humidity was so heavy it felt like you were wearing a mink coat soaked in hot water. May 20th, we had threat of severe weather and you could feel it in the air. Around 1:30 after lunch, several co-workers gathered on the sidewalk out front to watch the clouds coming our way. Yes, it's true, in Oklahoma when we are in a tornado watch, that's exactly what we do.... We go out and watch. Not far in the distance you could see the clouds swirling, occasionally making a funnel that would then be quickly sucked back into the clouds. I watched for a while, but decided to take my mind off all the commotion by doing some work. Tried as I may, the commotion could not be blocked, as

the mood was like an electrical current running through the building. The weather didn't affect my mood, but the excitement coupled with high pitched squeals and constant chatter sat my nerves on edge. With the forecast, I thought to myself "This is going to be a long spring." Back at my desk, my daughter called. She was locked inside JcPenney's. The store wouldn't let anyone leave until the threat had passed. As we were talking the electricity went at work ramping the mood up another notch. Thankfully, they sent us home where everyone uses their inside voices (peace and quiet does this body good). When I got home, my husband was out in the yard and we sat on the porch as the clouds swirled around us. Our electricity was out also so we had sandwiches for dinner (no cooking!!!) The electricity came back on around 8. We flipped on the TV to see what the weather was doing. Sadness wrapped our hearts. Moore Oklahoma had been devastated by a tornado that at times was 2 miles wide. It wiped out neighborhoods

as well at two elementary schools. 14 years earlier a tornado had taken almost exactly the same path. The debris flying through the air literally defoliated the bark from trees, grass from overpasses and left nothing but slab foundations where house after house had stood. But this time, the tornado had hit during the day, while the schools were still filled with children. I called both of my kids who live in the city to make sure they were safe. My brother lives in the Moore area and works for OU. I sent him a text to see if he was okay, but he never responded. Later my son texted me back to tell me his Uncle was okay, but headed to Moore with a crew and heavy equipment. The next day I learned his crew had helped locate the children who had not survived the storm. I could feel the heaviness in his voice. It was
a sad week for Oklahomans. Summer finally arrived in June with hot, but not unbearably hot days. July was a pleasant surprise with summer weather mixed with rain which we hadn't seen in about 3 years and usually never in July. August has started out the same... Hot, heavy and a surprise rain or two so far. Everyone is keeping their fingers crossed for a long beautiful fall. People are still putting their lives back together from the spring storms, but the good thing about Oklahoma is there are always helping hand close by to help with the healing.

Good Day

Today we packed up our baby boy and his girlfriend and headed to OCCC to enroll him. We talked a little on the way, but mostly they listened to music with their ear buds. My oldest son met us at the school. After initial hugs and kisses the three of them walked to the main building as we lagged behind. The three of them were suddenly very chatty, talking about classes and stuff. I looked over at my husband and said.... "We just don't speak their language." He put his arm around me and assured me.... "It's just that they're young." Well.... I'm not sure what he meant by that... I'm young... I may not be 18 or 26, but I'm young. I could tell his girlfriend was a little nervous so I stayed with her while he went for testing. Finally, after doing this and that and that and this he came back with a small smile, sat down and showed us his ID card. It really happened. He is actually enrolled in college for fall. As we walked back to the car I told my oldest... "I can't believe my baby just enrolled in college." He said... "It's good mom, don't cry." "I'm not crying" I said. He laughed and said... "Oh, I thought I saw a little tear." I don't know what he was talking about. I was right as rain. My daughter met us at my son's apartment downtown and we walked to the arts festival, ate lunch and meandered down Thunder Ally. The kids walked and talked and laughed, seemingly glad to all be together. When my youngest was a wee one, and his brother and sister still lived at home, he used to ask me each night as I tucked into bed, when Bubba and Sissy would be home. I would explain to him where each of them were, what they were doing and when I expected them home. One time I asked him why he asked each night and he said.... "I just rest better when everyone is together." The last several years, he hasn't had much rest. My daughter is in the Navy and has been from hither to yon for years, while my oldest son spent several years doing mission work in different places. Watching them walk and talk made me feel like they were all where they should be... Together. On the way home, I looked at my husband and said.... "It's been a good day." He smiled and agreed. The chicks may not all be in the nest, but at least they will soon be in the same city together.... So everyone can rest better.

A Measure of Grace

I have been a weepy mess this week... And it's only Tuesday. I have a very close family member who has been embroiled in a nasty legal battle brought by other members of the family. My heart has broken as I've watched her attempt to maintain a relationship that is being destroyed by greed and jealousy. Every time I think about her situation, I am reminded of the parable told to King David by Nathan the Prophet....

New International Version 1984

Nathan Rebukes David

1The Lord sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, “There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. 2The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, 3but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him.

4“Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.”

5David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this deserves to die! 6He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.”

7Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! 

I used to work in the life department of an insurance company. Time and again, I've seen family members lie, steal and cheat for as little as a few hundred dollars. The idea that someone may have no right to something, yet simply cannot stand the thought of someone else having what they cannot, is very common.  When  the possessions are divided, the money is long gone, all that remains are annihilated relationship, torn lives and broken hearts. I made the remark a couple of years ago.... "At this point, the most loving thing to do, is to facilitate a healthy relationship between these two parties so the last memories are of joy and not sorrow." Sadly,  the only thing many can facilitate is grief, because they are not happy, they prefer no one be happy.  My Pastor, whom I have so much admiration for has always said, if he erres, he wants to err on the side of grace. Grace is many things, but it is never self serving and usually always goes against our human nature. I know that if I extend grace by the measure of  grace I need, than I will be extending a LOT of grace.

Perfect World

I sat on the front steps this afternoon and watched as the elementary school on the corner let out. Little ones with their backpacks on, tiny fingers clasped tightly in the hands of moms as they crossed the street to their minivans with booster seats... It all seemed so sweet and innocent and oh so far away.  Seems like in a perfect world you would be allowed to hold them tightly in your lap forever, never letting go... But in a perfect world you wouldn't have to worry about letting them go, because no one or no thing would mean them any harm. This isn't a perfect world and forever in my lap isn't possible... But oh if it were, all would be right...

Creepy Dolls @ Affair of the Heart

What a great time I had Saturday with my family! Saturday my husband and I went to the City to meet up with our kids; sadly our youngest had to stay behind to work. When we got to the City we split up, boys left to do boy things, like look at wood, girls went to do girl things like ooh and awe over blingy stuff at Affair of the Heart. I love going to Affair of the Heart because it's just so girlie. It looks like someone just vomited glitter and rhinestone on anything that could possibly be glued, stapled or blasted with sparkles. There are 7 building full of blinged out anything you can imagine, all in high definition. It can be a little overwhelming, even to those who don't suffer from sensory overload. Toward the 6th building you could tell that the three of us were winding down. As we were walking out of one of the buildings we saw a woman with two babies in her arms. They were the real looking babies. I saw a news program about 40 something women getting these life like dolls and pretending they are real newborns to the point of changing the diapers on a regular basis and putting them in a stroller when they go shopping. I told the girls, that would be me if I didn't get grandchildren soon. My daughter said she would start looking for a home to put me in. In the next building we were standing looking at the hair on the wall... Seriously when you're really tired and are seeing dots because you've looked at too much bling for one day you just have a tendency to stop and stare trying to

comprehend what the heck this booth represents... or at least we did. It was a hair piece booth with a wall of hair, which at that point in the day if you stared at it long enough was kind of creepy. Then I saw two dolls at sitting at the end of the booth on a shelf. They were those real life dolls. I picked the dolls up and insisted on the girls holding them because their bodies are filled with sand or something and they feel so real. The owner of the booth had kind of wondered over and was listening to us when my daughter said... "They are so creepy!" The lady stepped up behind her, jerked the doll out of her arms, cradled it in her arms and replied... "They are not creepy! I looked at my daughter and told her that she had totally just offended the lady. The lady said... "Yes I am offended. I make them myself, I hand paint them and each and every hair on their head is put there by me with a pin. I even painted little veins on her hands." I just couldn't help myself... "Eww, that makes it even more creepy." to which the crazy baby lady had to agree... "Yea, it kind of does." We stepped away from the life like creepy dolls as she soothed their hurt feelers and wrapped them back in their baby blankets. Yea, we didn't make friends with anyone at that booth, she was a little sensitive. As we were wrapping up the last building, trying to maneuver though a land mine of strollers with very upset real life babies who weren't creepy at all, one of them pointed a gun right at me as an explosion of bubbles blasted me in the face... "Oh!!! That is so cool" I told the kid, then I asked the mom where she got it. We went to the bubble gun booth and I told the lady I wanted a bubble gun, in fact just give us three! She wanted to know how old the kids we were buying them were, I looked at her totally hurt and offended and informed her we were buying them for ourselves. She seemed a little shocked, although I'm not sure why bubble blowing adults would be shocking, but she determined we were age appropriate and let us buy three bubble guns with laser lights... When we felt like we couldn't take one step more, we called the guys and had them come pick us up. We told them our creepy baby stories, shot them with bubbles and then went to fix dinner. They wanted to know what we had bought besides three bubble guns. We told them we got ponytail holders that you have to have an engineering technical degree to use, a dog bone place mat for Aja's messy cat, a electric cord cover and Kathleen bought a dress. We made out like bandits. It was a wonderful day and not just in a creepy doll kind of way.

It's Official and I couldn't Be More Excited

last night I spent the evening huddled in the most adorable little house in Bethany. My husband and I, along with about 50-75 close friends and family of my son and his fiance, gathered for a much awaited surprise engagement party. The question was being popped across town in a the little tea room of their first date. As soon as the deed was done, they were to go a friends house to break the good news. I stood there surrounded by a sea of twenty something adults, all beautiful and full of dreams and promise. I couldn't help but think to myself that my kids have been richly blessed and highly favored by being surrounded by wonderful friends. The big moment arrived as they walked in the door to oohs and awes, hugs and kisses and surprise visits from the parents of the happy couple.  To say it was heartwarming, touching and extremely sentimental is a gross understatement. And so a new chapter begins. I now have a whole new person to love, adore and spoil rotten in true Mother-in-law fashion. It was a blessed evening,  and a touching tribute to two people who have invested generously into the lives of others.

Luke 6:38
"Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again."

The love that was shown in the house last night was nothing short of the results of living a life poured

out. I predict many blessings to follow, not only to the happy couple but to the friends and family who are fortunate enough to share in their lives. Congrats Kathleen and Seth, may your journey be full of laughter, many adventures and a love that not only last but continues to grow for eternity.

The Bitter Sweet Taste of Change

Seth catches the garter

One of our boys got married this week. Not one of My boys, but one of the boys that feels like mine (does that make any sense at all). I was doing just fine until the music started and then the tears took over and the chill bumps ran up and
down my arms. How could it be that they are all grown up adults now,taking wives and having children? It's absolutely what you're shooting for when you
become a parent, to see your children grow into functioning adults, but then watching it actually happen, rips a tiny bit of your heart out. I had this sudden urge to stand up and shout "Stop! Let's rewind back a few
years when you were just a wee one and let me pinch your cheeks again." Yeah, that wouldn't be inappropriate at all at a friends wedding, so I sat there biting my tongue until I was pretty sure a steady stream of crimson blood was running down my chin, but no, it was just tears. Sweet, bitter, happy and sad tears, all at the same time. Life is truly a complex mixture of

all of the above and it leaves a salty taste on your lips as you
kiss the past goodbye and smile hopefully into the eyes of forever.

The Best Way to Welcome a New Year

17 years ago on New Year's Day, we began a family tradition. Some friends of ours invited us over to eat and play games on New Year's Day. We both had children the same age, including babies that at the time were only a few months old. The day turned out to be one of the most pleasant holidays we had
ever had and we decided to make it a yearly event. That was 17 years ago. We rotate houses every year, but we never change the main purpose of the
day which is just to have raging fun for as many hours as we can stand. Our New Year's
Day get together is the one day that I know without a doubt that I will laugh until my stomach hurts. This year was no exception. We were missing a few faces but they were in our hearts as we laughed, shouted and occasionally snorted during the various games and stories that were told. It is the best way to welcome in a New Year.