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Monday, October 31, 2011

The Perfect Solution

When we were walking out of church yesterday, I heard two different people comment on how cold it was in the sanctuary. One lady said she was going to start bringing a blanket to church. I understood the feeling oh too well, not because I was cold yesterday, but because I used to be cold all of the time. For years I dealt with ice cold fingers that would turn dark blue or lose all color until they turned dead white. I used to work in fingerless gloves that held a hand warmer in the palm. I used to carry hand warmers in my purse all the time, I was just miserable. The doctors said it was Reynard's syndrome and there wasn't anything to help with it outside of what I was already doing. Little did they know that they were wrong. The perfect solution to my problem was flinging myself backwards into a 9 foot concret hole and knocking myself unconscious. Since my drop into the rabbit hole, no more blue fingers and no more being miserably cold all of the time. If you mention to me that it's cold in the room, I might stop and realize it is, but left to my own, I simply don't notice. It may not sound like a big deal, but my husband is completely amazed at the transformation. It's hard to enjoy yourself when you are shivering from the cold and turning blue. I feel like I should include the following warning if you suffer from the same problem. Do not attempt this at home or alone. The solution was purely accidental and was darn near deadly, but I sure am enjoying the outcome.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Baby Whaley! What More Could You Ask For?

The Girlfriends and I  have raised our kids together and now we are beginning toward the path of raising our grandchildren together. Hang on girls, this is gonna be a fun ride. Today we had the first of what I hope will be many baby showers to come for The Girlfriends. The Mother-to-be was very patient with us as we ooh'd and goo'd over her
buldging belly, swapped baby weight stories and did all the things mothers tend to do when they gather together to celebrate the anticipated birth of a new little one. I see a time in my future when I won't have to borrow other peoples children to take to the latest
Disney movie, play in the park, or admire the Halloween costume of some strangers kid. We had a blast looking at the cute little baby socks, the new gadgets they make and the old true and steady must-haves in child rearing.  We dined on strawberry and chocolate cake, fruit, veggies and fancy sandwiches. The best part of it all, was feasting on the love we felt for one another and the sheer excitment of knowing there is another journey ahead and we all get to travel together!! What more could you ask for? Welcome to our world Baby Whaley!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Rivalry Wall/The Time is Now

It started out harmless enough. I work in an office full of OU fans. When I first started, there were only a handful of OSU fans and we were a quiet bunch…. Well, they were a quiet bunch. I think it started out with me putting an OSU item in someone’s office to see how long it took till they noticed it. Then an OU bear showed up in my office. I sat the bear on my cubical wall facing the conference room. The OU bear had a “Touch Me” sign on his belly and when you touched it, the OU fight song bounced off the walls. On a daily basis, certain OU fans would sneak up and push the button (gag me with a spoon). I did a little Internet shopping (imagine that) and found an OSU cowboy that could sing as well. When my Cowboy arrived, I 
took both him and the little bear home for some handy work. As my husband and I watched T.V. that night, I dismantled both items…..

Mike:  Didn’t you just get that in the mail today?

Me: Yep

Mike: Why are you ripping it apart?

Me: Because I’m tired of listening to the OU song. I’m ripping out the OSU music box and putting it in the OU bear so the next time someone sneaks up to push his button, they will get the OSU song instead! GENIUS!

I carefully exchanged the music box, sewed everyone together again (much like Humpty Dumpty) and sat them beside each other on the wall. Well, I take that back, I think my Cowboy was dangling the 
bear over the wall by his heels, but you get the picture. A few weeks ago, little bear was brought up to sit beside Cowboy. Somewhere along the way another OU bear joined the club and they are all sitting like birds on a wire, holding hands and playing nice. After the loss to Texas Tech this weekend I felt lead (it was almost a spiritual thing) to put the current BCS rankings on them. I came in Tuesday morning and found someone (no one will take credit) decided to put OU vs. OSU stats underneath them. I 
understand their pain only too well. I thought OU fans needed some encouragement so I put some (timely) quotes next to the stats. There comes a point in everyone’s life where you just have to let go of the past and embrace the present. As a Cowboy fan, the time would be now.Oh, I know it's dangerous to count your chickens before they hatch, but this ain't chickens, it's football and I don't get braggin rights often.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Unconditional Love

 I love my dogs because they love me unconditionally. They take me as I am,  all of my faults, failures and imperfections mean nothing to them because they love all of me.

You could snap pictures all day long and never get one good shot of Riley. The only way to get a good picture of her is to take it when she is sleeping. She is just like a Wilda beast that's house trained. She loves to wrestle, but beware... She can cross over to the dark side in a New York minute. The reason I got Sailor was because I needed something to drain some her energy. The idea worked quite well, especially when Sailor got to where she out weighed her by 100lbs. Aja shares my love for animals. When this first picture was taken Aja was getting Riley wound up. When Sailor perceived Riley was crossing to the dark side she started to jump in to defend Aja. Mike caught Sailor just in the nick of time. We weren't interest in having a giant dog fight in the kitchen.

Sailor is just as calm as Riley is hyper. She is sweet through and through.  Catching ice cubes happens to be her special talent.
One of my favorite things to do is to sit on the front porch with the dogs. We love to and watch leaves blow by, or watch it rain (haven't gotten to do that in a while).
After playing with the dogs, You're just plain dog tired.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Name That Thang

Earlier in the week (who remembers what day), I walked out to the parking lot at work and noticed that someone had drawn something on the rear passengers side window. I cocked my head to one side, cocked my head to the other side and for the life of me I couldn't really determine exactly what it was suppose to represent. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I wondered if it was an obscene drawing, but since I couldn't really tell what it was I figured no one else would either. I made a mental note to self to wash it off when I got home. No big deal, probably just some silly kids. As the week wore on, I completely forgot about it. It was safely tucked into the La La Land files of my blonder than I pay to be memory (it's a very happy place to be). Last night we drove to the City to have dinner with the kids to celebrate the 17th birthday of my baby boy. On the way to the City my husband asked me what was on the back window. "I dunno, someone drew on my window with shoe polish." I told him. He wanted to know what it said, and I told him it didn't say anything,just a random drawing... Case closed.  When it was time to leave my daughter's apartment, she walked us out to the car. It was a beautiful fall night, just a tad on the nippy side. As we walked up to the car she asked.... "Mom, what's that on your car?" I told her the same thing I told my husband. When we got up to the car I said... "I don't even know what it's suppose to be."  As the three of them tilted their heads sideways, stared for a moment then all three exclaimed.... "OMG!!! Mother you have to get that off!" I said okay, "Why, what's it suppose to be?" When they told me, I guess it made a little more sense, but really it wasn't a very detailed drawing. Yeah, if you thought about it and looked at it long enough I guess you'd say it was inappropriate. I told them I'd wash the car tomorrow. "No! You can't drive around with that on your car! I'll go get something and take it off right now." My husband stared at me like I had intentionally been driving around with porn on my windows, my 17 acted like he wished the ground would just swallow him whole. Seriously.... At the speeds I drive and the way I zip in and out of traffic it's unlikely anyone would get enough of a glimpse to know what they were looking at. As for my family, if this were an ink blot test, I think a professional would say they have some serious repressed issues. Me? If this was a test, I'm pretty sure I flunked. I've just never been great at test taking, especially the "Name That Thang" kind.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Happy Birthday

Awe, my baby boy turns 17 today. He never seems very interested in his Birth Story, probably because it was just a stop, drop and he rolled right out kind of tale. My Mom and Dad had moved to Duncan by the time he came along and Mom got to be in the delivery room. Nana practically knocked the doctors and the nurses over in order to get her first up close and personal peek at her baby. The nurse finally had to move her aside so they could do all the things they do to babies which always seems unnecessarily harsh from a Mother's prospective.He was easy from the get-go. His sister and brother tell him he's the perfect child, and truly there never was an easier child to take care of. I think God knew it was best to save the easiest for last. Gosh I miss the days I used to cuddle him in my arms... Happy Birthday Caby Baby... Momma loves you! (See I put the Caby Baby at the very bottom of the blog and you know that your friends won't read this far and see my nick name for you.)

Monday, October 17, 2011

Lurking in the Shadows

Last night I grabbed my Mastiff and we headed out for our nightly walk. I had my ear buds in and we were enjoying the wonderful weather.  Sailor is the best walker. I can walk her without a leash and she stays right by my side. I usually walk at night and I feel much safer with my 175lb dog beside me. Last night we were just a few blocks from home when I spotted a couple in their front yard. We continued at our normal pace and proceeded in front of their house. Their two weenie dogs took after Sailor like a pack of hounds. She tucked her tail as far under her body as it would go and made like a Kangaroo, bouncing in circles trying to protect her nether regions from getting a unwanted nip/tuck. The owners of the dogs were running around in circles trying to capture the two little yappers. I tried to continue on in a relaxed manner just like I've seen on The Dog Whisperer. Maybe I'm watching the wrong show, maybe I should be watching the Horse Whisperer instead because my calm assertive
behavior wasn't doing a thing to protect her nether regions nor did it seem to effect the two yappers or their owners. Finally we stopped and they managed to get the yappers under control. Tonight on our walk, the wind was howling and leaves were scattering across the streets. She jumped at every shadow, every blowing leaf. She kept looking back at her nether regions to make sure everything was intact. I'm not sure what good it does me to have a 175lb scardy cat that's afraid of the dark.  She needs to Man UP and quit acting like a purse dog. I may have to start packing pepper spray in order to protect her from the unseen danger lurking in the shadows. What a big chicken!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Technology Revolution is Here!

I was raised in a very rigid church. It's standards were high and it's pews were mostly empty.  It viewed progressing as watering down your beliefs to suit the world.  When my husband and I began going to our current church, it was a welcomed relief from the church of my childhood. I'm grateful for my spiritual past, but I believe in order to reach others, we have to be relevant to the present. Our church is constantly looking for new ways to stay relevant.  A church that isn't growing and changing, is a church that is dying.  The bad thing about change, is sometimes it's hard to wrap your mind around. I think that is especially true the older you get.  It's easy to stay with the familiar and let the comfort of the usual wrap around you like a warm blanket until you have been lulled into a sound sleep like an infant. Our church doesn't give you that opportunity. We are moving, growing, building, changing, evolving and even when that is a difficult thing, it's a good thing. This morning I walked into the lobby of the church and got ready to take my place at the welcome desk. A mammoth monstrosity stood across the desk.  At first I couldn't make
out what "the thing" was (it looked like the monolith from 2001 Space Odyssey), but when I got closer I realized it was a ATM giving machine (mainly because it said giving on the outside). I just had to laugh, because it made me feel so dated, yet it made perfect sense. Neither of my oldest children use checks, or cash for that matter. All of their purchases are made with debit cards. So it makes perfect sense to have an ATM giving machine in the church lobby so the younger people will be able to give in the way that they are comfortable with. I was talking to a gentleman at church about the machine. He was from a similar background as me. I made that statement that my old church would have never had an ATM machine in the building because they would say that is was a mark of the beast, or just plain evil. When I said that he died laughing because he could relate to that type of thinking. It was a reveiling Sunday for me. I took pictures of the ATM machine and settled into my place behind the desk.  Before Sunday School began a gentleman came up to the desk and asked if I knew the Wi-Fi password so he could download his bible onto his tablet.  I can relate to that because I love using my Kindle (or did until I got a phone that doesn't support the software).  Then a woman asked me for my email address so she could email me the minutes of the last mission meeting. We're so current, so with-it, so hip, it's just weird. We're not as current as some churches. The church my son goes to has serve your self communion tables set up (something about that is just hysterical to me, in a very reverent way of course). Our church originated from a small town of 1,500-2,000 people. We probably run close to 800 or so on Sunday mornings. The reason we've continued to grow, is because we've continued to reach out to others in a way in which they can relate. I know for a fact that change is difficult.  Sometimes change is like a dull ache in the very core of your bones, much like when you were growing up... But it has to happen.  I'm officially seeing a time in the future where I can tell my grandchildren the old time stories of passing an actual offering plate and carrying a Bible to church that was in book form.  These stories makes me feel so..... OLD!! One thing I'll be add to make the stories more tolerable is I did these things back then in really cute shoes.  A little embellishment makes the whole thing easier to swallow :-)

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Don't Ask Me Questions!!!

Be forewarned... Stepping up to the soap box now. There are things that people do every day that should be simple until someone else gets a bright idea and screws it up so it's no longer simple. For example, copy machines. When I go to make a copy, I just want a copy... I don't want to be asked a bunch of questions about it. This is when someone gets hurt, usually the copier. I went to make a copy yesterday, just a simple copy. Of course the copy gremlins who live in the copier, poked their heads out and said.... "Oh, it's Jac, let's mess with her." Really!? I'm all jacked up on Starbucks and you want to turn a simple task into madness on a Friday afternoon? No paper in the copier, no paper in the copy room. I trek back to my office, get paper and pull out what seemed like 15 drawers before I found the legal drawer. I filled the drawer with legal paper and shut the door. Simple, just a simple thing in office world. Then the little screen thingy lights up wanting to know if I wanted to accept the changes that were made??? Blah, Blah, Blah. My ADD prevents me from carefully reading all of the questions, so I just start hitting the most likely answers available. Which is exactly what I used to do in school when we had to take test that were multiple choice, the ones where you had to Carefully color in the little circle with your pencil. I was always terrified I was going to get outside the lines and the machine would spit my test out and send it to  my teacher telling her I was just too stupid to be helped. There's actually a mental picture of a machine spitting my paper out with smoke shooting out it's orifices (welcome to my somewhat twisted world). Copiers used to be simple... They either copied or they didn't, they didn't give you multiple choice questions to answer every time you used them. On my way back to my office I stopped by I.T. to rant just a little (he always smiles when he sees me coming and he usually asks me "What have you done now"). I told him how much I hated machines asking me questions. Come to find out, he feels exactly the same way... JUST MAKE THE COPY! Just because it's technically possible to make copiers that are smarter than the people using them, doesn't mean it's a good idea. Just keep it simple!

Friday, October 14, 2011

Easy to Please

I used to feel bad about my lack of cell phone patience, I don't any more. I put getting a new cell phone right up there with root canals and pap smears, there are just A LOT of things I'd rather be doing than cell phone shopping (shoes, shoes, shoes). I tend to pick my cell phones out the same way I pick out my favorite football teams... By color schemes. Last time I got a new cell phone I didn't have the option of being choosy. I shattered the screen on my old one and my replacement service gave me what they wanted me to have, indestructible sans attractiveness. I hated that phone the minute I turned it on. The phone was a touch screen and my fingers were too fat to text anything correctly. I started having pretty bad body image issues shortly after receiving it in the mail. When it began freezing up more often than not, I decided to take it in to see if it could be fixed. My conversation went like this....

Me: My phone freezes up like every 2 seconds and I thought I'd see if you could fix it before I pound it into pieces.

Cell Phone Guy: Let me take a look at it

I hand it to him. He begins trying to punch the buttons but nothing happens, just.... nothing.

Cell Phone Guy: Oh yeah, I see what you're talking about, you must get really frustrated if it does this all day.

Me: Yeah, my doctor put me on Prozac.

Cell Phone Guy: Well this phone had so many kinks that they just scraped the phone. You're probably going to want to get a new one.

Me: Okay, I'll take that one, the one with the actual buttons.

Cell Phone Guy: You want to play with the new touch screen? It's way easier than the one you have.

Me: No, I just want this one, the one with buttons, I like buttons.

Cell Phone Guy: Well if you're sure about it...

Probably the easiest sale he's ever had. So he sets my phone up and sends me out of the door. I'm a happy little camper because I have buttons to push and a pretty little purple plaid cover.... I'm a girl who likes to push buttons. The next day I go back because I have some questions. The guy from yesterday wasn't there so I waited in line for someone to help me. The guy behind the counter was helping a family with a new phone. He was explaining to them that they had 14 days to return the phone. If it didn't work, they could bring it back for one that did. If they brought it back because they didn't like it, or because it didn't match their shoes then there would be a $35.00 restocking fee. When the next representative asked if he could help me I said...

Me:Yes, I bought this phone yesterday and it doesn't match the shoes I'm wearing today so I'd like to return it.

The cell phone guy just looked at me with his jaw hanging. Try as he might, he just couldn't find a response to that so he looked at the other cell phone guy who looked at me and asked what I needed.

Me: Hmm, I bought this phone yesterday and it doesn't match the shoes I'm wearing today so I'd like to return it.

He looked at the family he was helping who was looking at me, then he turned back to me and said.

Cell Phone Guy: Did you just hear what I told these people?

The man he was helping started to laugh and said.... "I think that's why she said it." Note to self, people who work in cell phone stores probably aren't used to dealing with frustrated yet pleasant people. When they realized I was joking (and not totally a nut case) they relaxed. That's when they realized something a lot of people just do not get about me.... I'm really easy to please. Hey! I AM.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Petro Gizmo's & Gadgets

It doesn't happen often, but every now and then our office takes a oilfield field trip. It's nice for the girls in the office to get a chance to see the actual procedures that go into the reports and numbers we post in the computer each month. It's also nice to get out of the office of a while :-) Each year a Petroleum Expo is held in the City.  The engineers usually go and occasionally they will take some of the girls. Until this year I had never been. Whoever goes most often brings me back a pen or a cap. The first year I got a "Save Our Strippers" bumper sticker. I had only worked in the office a couple of months when the bumper sticker was given to me. I figured, but wasn't absolutely certain the sticker had an oilfield meaning and finally I mustered up the courage to ask him about it. I was quickly put at ease when he assured me it was referring to "Stripper Wells" not just strippers in general. Although I would agree with the later... Strippers need saving just as much as non-strippers need saving... All God's children (clothed and unclothed) need God's love.  LOL! This year my ticket came up and I got to go to the Petro Expo along with a couple of guys from the office. It is held at the fair grounds (the same place where Affair of the Heart comes each year), but it is way less frilly than The Affair of the Heart. When we came to the end of the Expo, my boss wanted to know if there was anything I wanted to go back and look at.... Nope, I was good, a little disappointed that they didn't have a shoe department but I guess that's Oilfield for ya. Much to our surprise a picture of us showed up in the Daily Oklahoman. As you can see we are intently interested the new and improved gizmo's and gadgets. It still would have been better if they would have had a shoe section.

Monday, October 10, 2011

What Defines My Monday?

What defines my Monday? Here it is... When I wear my prissy black skirt to the office only to have a male co-worker point out later in the morning (pointing with one hand and other hand kind of covering his mouth, probably to stifle the laughter).... "Uh, hmm, turn around... You have a, no other side, uh, turn around....Uh, right there!"  Basically I'm turning in circles much like a dog chases it's tail, looking for something that he can't seem to spit out because... Well, it's on my butt. Of course I discover it's a big white fur ball located in the least desirable of areas. It's easy to say there is a great possibility that the day will continue to decline, but I could be wrong. Hey! It could happen.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

I Just Love Saying "Great Job!!!!!"

Sadly we live in an entitlement society. We've become complacent to mediocre, it's just the norm now. The only way we can make a difference is to be the difference and to demand businesses provide a different standard than the norm. When I buy groceries I've learned that I have plenty of time to read my kindle or a handy magazine, update my calender and send out a hello or two via text massaging. When it's my turn to check out, I've learned that I have plenty of time to organize my groceries on the conveyor belt in a very un-Jac like OCD manner. Why do I have so much time on my hands while standing in the check out? Usually because whoever is doing the checking, is in no hurry to get the job done in order to help the next person and get them out the door. Maybe I'm just in too big of a hurry, but I've always believed time is money, whether it was mine or someone else's.  Yep, I've done my share of complaining. I've written letters to corporate offices about bad service and sub-par merchandise. In the last few years, I've completely changed tactics. I don't write complaint letters any more, I just read my kindle and send out my text messages and wait, wait, wait. On the rare occasion that I am pleasantly surprised by someones amazing amount of work ethic, I write down the date, time, name and check out lane where I experienced my pleasant surprise. I tell whoever is helping me that they have done a GREAT job and that I will be sure to let the management know how pleased I am with the service they have provided and the manner in which they provided it. When I get home I google the business, go to "Contact Us" and write a flowering email of praise, giving as much positive information I can about the person who provided the pleasant experience. Sometimes I even call the management personally (that usually shocks their socks off). I know (from my shopping experience) every business probably receives 1000 times more complaints than they ever do compliments. It's my calculation that an email praising a specific person for a job well done, might, just might encourage businesses to offer rewards to exceptional workers, even if it's nothing more than recognition. In my heart I believe it shouldn't take an incentive get someone to have a strong work ethic, but this is a different day, different society. I really do love the look on someones face when I tell them.... "You've done a great, fast, friendly job and I'm going to let your manager know." It usually seems like it's as much of a surprise to them to hear that as it is to me to get to say it and really mean it. Great Job!!!!

Friday, October 7, 2011

On a Positive Note

I woke up this morning with puffy eyes,bad hair and a general feeling of blahness. Other than those minor annoyances, I'm a happy little camper... I'm totally glad it's casual Friday and thankful for the cup of Starbucks that pumps through my veins (although I'll have to say it might be a little better if I could just mainline the stuff on days like today). The better news is, rain is in the forecast tomorrow. I'm praying the "No Rain Dome" that has been looming over Stephens County will be removed so we can all get a good soaking. Happy Friday, that's what I'm sayin.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


My footwear says everything about the way I'm feeling
This morning I woke up feeling like I had an up close and personal encounter with a vampire last night and it had sucked every speck of energy out of me(Is it possible to feel both bloated and drained?). Yea, totally not as glamorous as the movies and romantic novels make it out to be. Not only was I lucky to drag my butt to work, I certainly didn't feel like dressing up in "Toddlers and Tiaras" fashion. I grabbed my jeans, threw on a loose shirt and donned my Tom's in lieu of my stilettos. I swear if I could have gotten away with wearing my pj's I would have. I have a friend who works upstairs that becomes severely concerned when I wear flats... "It's just not you!" So, I posted a wardrobe alert on her facebook page... "I'm totally "Frumpinit" today"...  Sure enough,even with a posted alert she meandered by just to witness for herself how bad of shape I was in.... "Gosh! I can't believe you even OWN a pair those shoes!" You just don't get any more flat than Toms. Ugh! Except when I'm padding around the house (I do love naked feet), my footwear says everything about how I'm feeling inside. Today I'm frumpinit. Hopefully tomorrow will be a high heel kind of day.....