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Friday, October 31, 2014

Open Carry

Warning!  I believe in "Open Carry" laws.  I was a little hesitant about it, until a personal experience showed me without a doubt…. I believe.  I ran by Stage the other day (different Stage than the jean debacle), hoping a pair of slacks would jump off the racks making me look 15 lbs slimmer and 10 years younger.  Yeah, I walked out with notta, but as I walked out, I spotted a friend who used to live across the street from us when the kids were small.  Our kids ran through the neighborhood, terrorizing…. Well, the neighbors.  One winter day when the kids were out of school, I got a phone call from my her…. "Uh Jackie, Did you know your son was out playing in the snow barefooted?"  Hey, don't judge me!!!  Anyway, she waved and I waved and then it hit me…. Suddenly I morphed into "that woman"…. "Hi, guess what, I have a Grandbaby!"  I reached in my purse and came out with a loaded Blackberry…. "Look, he is perfect…."  I held out the Blackberry and began to scroll through cuter than a bug little Levi Atlas Patterson's pictures as I rattled off the whole, 36 hours of labor, 3 hours of pushing, mom's the size of a 6th grader, they had it natural in their apartment in a kiddie pool with a midwife, he is a huge baby, 8 ½ lbs, 19 inches long, I'm Lolli, Mike is Pops, making us none other than Lollipops, with hand motions and the facial expressions of a Broadway star.  She graciously looked and listened, because really, what else was she going to do considering a maniac Lolli accosted her in public with a loaded Blackberry?  When I got into my car I thought to myself….. "Oh my gosh!!!  You just accosted her. You accosted her in public with your Lolli story and pictures.  Bad Jackie. Bad, bad Jackie. Get a hold of yourself woman, get a grip, you are better then this."  But, I'm not, I'm not better than that.  He is just perfect, simply perfect. I've been freakin humble all my life, terribly sensitive to not  wanting to brag, boast, or to be arrogant about anything (I hate arrogance) until sometimes I wonder if I even have any self esteem and then this beautiful creature arrives so completely perfect in every way and by gosh, it's totally socially acceptable to be completely obnoxious about your grandchildren,  everyone says that's what grandparents do… So I am just being normal really.  Still, I need to get a grip. No more accosting people with my Blackberry.  I'll work on being more subtle… The new will wear off.   We stopped by and introduce Levi to his Great Grand pops yesterday.  I was, of course , armed with my Blackberry.  My son smiled at me as I posted a picture and said…. "You know mom, you don't have to post all of the pictures to Facebook.  It's okay to keep some just for you."  I just looked at him with a smile and said…. "Yeah, I know." 

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

The Circle of Life

9 months ago today, my mother made the journey to her heavenly home.  With broken hearts we both mourned and celebrated her homecoming in relation to our loss. Today I sit at my desk and stare at a picture of our newest family member. He arrived safe and sound Sunday afternoon.  He has captured our hearts with unfathomed love.  I stand amazed at the tread that weaves in, out, and between each breath we take to become the tapestry of the circle of life.  

Friday, October 17, 2014

Breakfast for The Bossy Britches

Yesterday was National Bosses Day... Aka Bossy Britches Day (say that really fast ten times and see how it comes out).  Today we're celebrating The Bossy Britches by fixing breakfast for them.   It is so sexist but we came up with the idea and they seem to like it so there. For the record.... We have the best Bossy Britches ever!!!!  Here's why our Bossy Britches are the best.

    A. They don't take their bad moods out on us.... Well, if they even have bad moods, who knows because they are the same every single day.  Not everyone can say that about their Bossy Britches (speaking from personal experience).
    B.  They tolerate my shenanigans quite well.  If only my teachers had tolerated my shenanigans as well as The Bossy Britches do, I wouldn't have been so familiar with the corner of the classroom.
    C. They are great at breaking things down for me like I'm a 3rd grader without making me feel dumb...  Because not everyone speaks engineereze (sigh of relief).
    D. Even though things have been really crummy lately at the office, and even though we feel like we are working in the dark, we know they would change things if they could. Just knowing that they know it sucks helps the suckiness not be as sucky.  I don't know why, it just does.
    E. They have oodles of compassion.  We KNOW they actually care about us and our families.  This is HUGE and should probably be moved up to A, but I don't want to have to re-letter everything so it's staying here.  If everyone had the compassion they have, things wouldn't be so sucky right now... Just sayin
     F . On National Administrative Assistant Day, they give us flowers, take us to eat at the super-duper, fancy-smancy golf club, and give us a card.  Don't think that goes un-noticed by the unfortunate souls who don't have the pleasure of working for our Bossy Britches. It's been mentioned how well our Bossy Britches treat us.  We know we are blessed.
     G . They trust us to do our job and stay the heck out of our way so we can do it.  Sounds simple, it's not.

So there you have it.  Like I told one of The Bossy Britches yesterday, I hope like heck we're celebrating Bossy Britches Day together next year, but in case we're not..... YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST BOSSY BRITCHES EVER!!

Saturday, October 11, 2014

You've Completely Ripped Up the Woods

My Favorite Scene
I am the queen of demolition.  If you don't believe me, ask Fred our IT guy.  I can crash a system quicker than you can say Jack Sprat. Put a reciprocating saw in my hands and it's instant replay of Aliens when Sigourney Weaver blasted the queen mother alien and all her alien eggs with a flame thrower.  Sometimes I just want to get my hands on something and tear it up.  I've had a lot of those times lately.  Did I mention that everyone is stressed at work?  We were joking last week that by the time everything is said and done, we would all look like we had done a round of chemo because everyone's hair is falling out in clumps.  It's really not funny... Some of the guys are completely bald :-) Since the ticks have moved from the woods to where ever ticks go, I'm back in the woods walking my stress away.  The other night I rounded a corner and found that someone had completely ripped up the woods.  Remember that scene on Money Pit where Tom Hanks comes home to his house the contractors had demolished???  "You've completely ripped up my house!" he said as he stood on a pile of rubble.  The contractor replies.... "They sure as hell did. Those guys are work animals I tell ya."  I love that scene... I've actually lived that scene (I digress).  So blocking the path of the trail lay giant red cedars.  I told my companion (Hooch).... "they've completely ripped up the woods."  He just looked up at me so I had to finish the dialoge myself.  All along the way huge cedars were toppled.  It was just so sad.  I heard a loud chugging sound and saw a bulldozer thingamagig coming toward me.  It was the lumberjack man ripping down the trees.  Hey!!! I hollered at him.  He opened his windshield so he could hear me.... "You're making a mess." I told him.  It was a pretty cool thingamagig he was driving. It had a blade that cut the trees down.  He asked me if I wanted to try it..... "I sure as heck do!"  Tearing stuff up and knocking stuff down was just what I needed after a gruling day of waiting for the axe to drop.  So I hopped in the cab and started pushing buttons and moving levers, which he stopped me from doing.... That's what I do when I want do something really bad.... Who needs instructions, just start pushing buttons and see what happens.  He made me sit still until he explained all the buttons and levers (so boring, just get to the good stuff).  Then we lined the machine up and I flicked on the blade and in nothing flat a big ole cedar tumpled over.... "I want to do it again!" So I lined it up on another tree, one that was very dead, and tore that one up too.  It was so cool.  I felt powerful and dangerous.  It was getting dark so I had to give the machine back.  I was so zipped up from toppling trees, I couldn't wait to tell my husband... He knows exactly how dangerous I am.  I finished my walk and went home to try to quiet my soul with a little yoga.  Operating a big machine wasn't on my bucket list, so I put it on there and then checked it off.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Welcome October, I Thought You Would Never Get Here

I turned the page on my calendar today and saw the beautiful word….
In February, not long after mom died, I found out I was going to be a Lolli and Mike was going to be a Pops making the two of us none other than LolliPops.  I thought the time would drag by and certainly the next three weeks will, but soon and very soon my beautiful baby boy PitterPatter will be here for me to hold in my arms and to wrap my heart around (like I haven’t already).  This has been a particularly difficult year with the illness and death of my mom in such an up close and personal kind of way.  Losing your mom is difficult under any circumstances, but caring for her during the most excruciating part of the illness was bittersweet, yet harsh.  I can picture her holding her first grandchild during the last 9 months and getting to know him.  I’m sure she handed out much wisdom and advice while they waited for his passage into this world.  I’m so excited for his arrival, but I know he is in good company until the time arrives.  Welcome, welcome, welcome October!  I thought you would never get here.