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Friday, October 31, 2014

Open Carry


Warning!  I believe in "Open Carry" laws.  I was a little hesitant about it, until a personal experience showed me without a doubt…. I believe.  I ran by Stage the other day (different Stage than the jean debacle), hoping a pair of slacks would jump off the racks making me look 15 lbs slimmer and 10 years younger.  Yeah, I walked out with notta, but as I walked out, I spotted a friend who used to live across the street from us when the kids were small.  Our kids ran through the neighborhood, terrorizing…. Well, the neighbors.  One winter day when the kids were out of school, I got a phone call from my her…. "Uh Jackie, Did you know your son was out playing in the snow barefooted?"  Hey, don't judge me!!!  Anyway, she waved and I waved and then it hit me…. Suddenly I morphed into "that woman"…. "Hi, guess what, I have a Grandbaby!"  I reached in my purse and came out with a loaded Blackberry…. "Look, he is perfect…."  I held out the Blackberry and began to scroll through cuter than a bug little Levi Atlas Patterson's pictures as I rattled off the whole, 36 hours of labor, 3 hours of pushing, mom's the size of a 6th grader, they had it natural in their apartment in a kiddie pool with a midwife, he is a huge baby, 8 ½ lbs, 19 inches long, I'm Lolli, Mike is Pops, making us none other than Lollipops, with hand motions and the facial expressions of a Broadway star.  She graciously looked and listened, because really, what else was she going to do considering a maniac Lolli accosted her in public with a loaded Blackberry?  When I got into my car I thought to myself….. "Oh my gosh!!!  You just accosted her. You accosted her in public with your Lolli story and pictures.  Bad Jackie. Bad, bad Jackie. Get a hold of yourself woman, get a grip, you are better then this."  But, I'm not, I'm not better than that.  He is just perfect, simply perfect. I've been freakin humble all my life, terribly sensitive to not  wanting to brag, boast, or to be arrogant about anything (I hate arrogance) until sometimes I wonder if I even have any self esteem and then this beautiful creature arrives so completely perfect in every way and by gosh, it's totally socially acceptable to be completely obnoxious about your grandchildren,  everyone says that's what grandparents do… So I am just being normal really.  Still, I need to get a grip. No more accosting people with my Blackberry.  I'll work on being more subtle… The new will wear off.   We stopped by and introduce Levi to his Great Grand pops yesterday.  I was, of course , armed with my Blackberry.  My son smiled at me as I posted a picture and said…. "You know mom, you don't have to post all of the pictures to Facebook.  It's okay to keep some just for you."  I just looked at him with a smile and said…. "Yeah, I know." 

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