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Saturday, October 11, 2014

You've Completely Ripped Up the Woods

My Favorite Scene
I am the queen of demolition.  If you don't believe me, ask Fred our IT guy.  I can crash a system quicker than you can say Jack Sprat. Put a reciprocating saw in my hands and it's instant replay of Aliens when Sigourney Weaver blasted the queen mother alien and all her alien eggs with a flame thrower.  Sometimes I just want to get my hands on something and tear it up.  I've had a lot of those times lately.  Did I mention that everyone is stressed at work?  We were joking last week that by the time everything is said and done, we would all look like we had done a round of chemo because everyone's hair is falling out in clumps.  It's really not funny... Some of the guys are completely bald :-) Since the ticks have moved from the woods to where ever ticks go, I'm back in the woods walking my stress away.  The other night I rounded a corner and found that someone had completely ripped up the woods.  Remember that scene on Money Pit where Tom Hanks comes home to his house the contractors had demolished???  "You've completely ripped up my house!" he said as he stood on a pile of rubble.  The contractor replies.... "They sure as hell did. Those guys are work animals I tell ya."  I love that scene... I've actually lived that scene (I digress).  So blocking the path of the trail lay giant red cedars.  I told my companion (Hooch).... "they've completely ripped up the woods."  He just looked up at me so I had to finish the dialoge myself.  All along the way huge cedars were toppled.  It was just so sad.  I heard a loud chugging sound and saw a bulldozer thingamagig coming toward me.  It was the lumberjack man ripping down the trees.  Hey!!! I hollered at him.  He opened his windshield so he could hear me.... "You're making a mess." I told him.  It was a pretty cool thingamagig he was driving. It had a blade that cut the trees down.  He asked me if I wanted to try it..... "I sure as heck do!"  Tearing stuff up and knocking stuff down was just what I needed after a gruling day of waiting for the axe to drop.  So I hopped in the cab and started pushing buttons and moving levers, which he stopped me from doing.... That's what I do when I want do something really bad.... Who needs instructions, just start pushing buttons and see what happens.  He made me sit still until he explained all the buttons and levers (so boring, just get to the good stuff).  Then we lined the machine up and I flicked on the blade and in nothing flat a big ole cedar tumpled over.... "I want to do it again!" So I lined it up on another tree, one that was very dead, and tore that one up too.  It was so cool.  I felt powerful and dangerous.  It was getting dark so I had to give the machine back.  I was so zipped up from toppling trees, I couldn't wait to tell my husband... He knows exactly how dangerous I am.  I finished my walk and went home to try to quiet my soul with a little yoga.  Operating a big machine wasn't on my bucket list, so I put it on there and then checked it off.

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