Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts

Monday, August 31, 2015

Our God is FAITHFUL

An urgent knock sounded at the front door. We welcomed two precious friends we have known for years. We sat and talked about our children who have been best friends since before they were born. We met when we were both expecting and they were born within months of each other. They have remained true and steadfast friends regardless of time or distance. Now they both struggle with the awkward time between being a child and truly being an independent adult. Our friends hearts were breaking because they just learned that the child they have loved and raised in a loving Christian home, was declaring himself agnostic. I didn't gasp in amazement or shock, as our son had made the same declaration a couple of years ago. I remember clear as day when he told me he didn't believe. As he said the words I could tell he expected a fierce reaction.... He didn't get one. I simply shook my head, nestled back into the couch and said.... "That's fine. I trust that God will reveal himself to you in His time."  I remember him looking at me like.... "That's it? That's all you're going to say?" He expected outrage, he expected anger, he expected shock.... All he got was.... "God will reveal himself to you." I could tell thought my reaction was anticlimactic. It wasn't, it was and is my genuine belief that each person must at some point seek out their own salvation. We have to know, that we know, that we know, to the very core of who we are, not because of how we were raised, not because of where we went to church, but because God has revealed himself to us in a real way that calls our hearts to him. To our friends, the shock was still fresh and it was new.... Painful. As a parent, the immediate reaction is to blame ourselves..... "Where did we go wrong? What did we do, or not do right?" My husband and I have already tumbled down that path until I finally come to this understanding. Our son was born on October 19, 1994. Christmas fell on a Sunday that year and on Christmas morning my husband and I stood before the alter and gave this child that he had entrusted to us back to him. We vowed to raise him in our faith and to teach him God's ways. We have been faithful to that vow. We ensured that he was surrounded by others who were strong in their faith. We poured into his life and allowed others to pour into his life as well. I have not rescinded the vow I made. I have not removed him from God's hands, nor has God removed him. My son may run from God's presence,  but he cannot escape God's hand, nor his plan. At some point..... The Spirit will draw him. He may reach a very dark places before God reveals himself, but I am trusting that God WILL reveal himself. The foundation on which he was raised, is firm.... And it is sure. It may be shaken, but it will not shift.... It will not crumble. God's word says "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6) My son may run, he may hide, he may deny, but the seeds that were faithfully sown into his life will not leave him. In God's time, those seeds will bear fruit. Until then.... We wait.... We pray.... We trust....  Our God is Faithful.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Losing the Battle But Winning the War



Ephesians 6:12 (New International Version, ©2011)

12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Today I certainly feel like I lost the battle. My weakness is that all too often I don't recognize my stuggles as being spiritual, but tend to look at them as being all emotions and just the drama of day to day living. If I would just stop for one second and look at things as they are instead of how they appear, I would be much better off. Having been raised in Girl World (which is my personal term for all things female), I sluff things off as just being pure emotion rather than looking at them for what they are which is a spiritual attack from the very bowels of hell. Why, why, why do I do that? Oh wait.... maybe because I'm human. I don't look at myself as a mighty warrior because deep down inside I don't feel like I'm enough of a threat to be in the war (I'm just being... well I won't say real, but I will say brutally honest). Honestly I wish I could just tuck my emotions in a suitcase and ship them to another universe, or give them the strong arm out the back door so I wouldn't have to deal with them. Then again if I woke up every morning prepared for the days battle, I might be a little more successful in knocking a few of those battles out. I've come to know that arming yourself isn't a one time deal but something you do every second of every minute of every hour of every day of your life.  Yep, you got it.... This is a self scholding blog post. So Jac, today you lost the battle but at least you live to fight another day and will rise to win the war because Sister it's not over till the fat lady sings or the trumpet blows. Gird yourself up girl and let's get-er-done, with a little more style tomorrow and in really cute shoes (cause in heavenly Girl World the whole armor includes cute shoes.... They kick butt)



Ephesians 6:11 (New International Version, ©2011)



11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
















Friday, September 24, 2010

The Fabric of the Mind

THE FABRIC OF THE MIND

When tangled fibers
Slowly begin to mend
Joining themselves together
Like when they first began
When the tear begins to mend itself
A fusion in the mind
And a pathway circumvented
Become straightened with passing time
Tho healing may be needed
And wholeness is desired
The bringing back together
feels like burning fire
A sudden flash, a thunderbolt
Of emotions long forgot
Or a crashing wave of memory
Unaware you're suddenly caught
Alone without instruction
Or lost without a clue
The torn remaining remnant
Of a slightly different you
Maybe it's not completed
Healing still at work
But at least there is progress
And a whisper of hope is heard
An unlocking of the one you were
Hidden deep inside
It's a complicated process
Discovering something new
The fabric of the mind
That once was known as you