More of a Hero

When I was in 1st or 2nd grade, I joined a softball team. I remember riding my bike to the school for practice and looked forward to the first game. My stomach twittered with butterflies when it came my turn to bat. To my own shock and awe, I hit the ball and sent it soaring. I ran to first as the coach waved me on toward second. I hit second base with a determined thud and looked up to see that everyone was going nuts. I misinterpreted their excitement, and hung my head as I began walking off the field. When I stepped off the base the place erupted and the second base girl tagged me out. I had given up on myself just a tad too early and was out of the game for real. This would have been a great opportunity for a coach or someone to put their arm around me afterwards and assure me that no mistake is fatal. That didn't happen, and I never went back. I bet I missed a lot of good games because the fear of failure kept me from playing.

"Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game!"

- -A Cinderella Story

When I had kids I did not want them to live with fear of failure.  I certainly don't need to worry about them not living their dreams. This week Aja and Seth are off on a mission trip to Haiti. Each of them have been to different countries, but never together. This will be their first mission trip together and the last trip before my son walks down the isle to start the adventure of marriage. They have stepped up to the plate to face their fears more than I could ever imagine. Each one is very different but with every step they take, they become more of a hero in my eyes.

Losing the Battle But Winning the War

Ephesians 6:12 (New International Version, ©2011)

¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Today I certainly feel like I lost the battle. My weakness is that all too often I don't recognize my stuggles as being spiritual, but tend to look at them as being all emotions and just the drama of day to day living. If I would just stop for one second and look at things as they are instead of how they appear, I would be much better off. Having been raised in Girl World (which is my personal term for all things female), I sluff things off as just being pure emotion rather than looking at them for what they are which is a spiritual attack from the very bowels of hell. Why, why, why do I do that? Oh wait.... maybe because I'm human. I don't look at myself as a mighty warrior because deep down inside I don't feel like I'm enough of a threat to be in the war (I'm just being... well I won't say real, but I will say brutally honest). Honestly I wish I could just tuck my emotions in a suitcase and ship them to another universe, or give them the strong arm out the back door so I wouldn't have to deal with them. Then again if I woke up every morning prepared for the days battle, I might be a little more successful in knocking a few of those battles out. I've come to know that arming yourself isn't a one time deal but something you do every second of every minute of every hour of every day of your life.  Yep, you got it.... This is a self scholding blog post. So Jac, today you lost the battle but at least you live to fight another day and will rise to win the war because Sister it's not over till the fat lady sings or the trumpet blows. Gird yourself up girl and let's get-er-done, with a little more style tomorrow and in really cute shoes (cause in heavenly Girl World the whole armor includes cute shoes.... They kick butt)

Ephesians 6:11 (New International Version, ©2011)

¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.

Dazed and Confused and Totally Slap Happy :-|)

 
A Facebook friend posted the other day that she was "Dazed and Confused" about something she had seen. Sadly or actually happily, I've become quiet content in my dazed and confused state. It's very refreshing not to feel like I should know it all,or that I should have all the answers. I don't feel the need to be a big bag of wisdom or someones spiritual guru because of my vast depth of biblical knowledge and unsurpassed worldly experiences. Nope, I'm happy and content to skip happily along in ignorant bliss knowing that there are plenty of other people out there keeping up the charade of "Knowing it all". Even in my dazed and confused state I have enough sense to know if someone claims to know it all or have it all under control I should high tail it out of their presence

and "Run Forest Run!" I run to the sheltering truth that I am mere human, highly flawed and can only be made perfect in Him. Me and God have this thing going on, I trust him to know what's going on and he expects me to keep the best attitude possible even when I feel like what's happening sucks great big green apples. He hasn't asked me not to mention that it sucks great big green apples when it does (trust me he hears me loud and clear, but I tend to think he laughs at me more than he gets upset with me), but to trust him that the green will turn to sweet... Eventually. Ever since I've laid it down at the foot of the cross and turned

Maxine is much more of a
spiritual wizard than
people give her credit for!

my back on what other people think and say (which is difficult for one who has been a people pleasing machine since I was a wee one), I've been a much more content person.  Just being able to rest in the knowledge that he knows it all and has it all under control leaves me free to be be.... dazed and confused in a good, happy-go-lucky kinda way. My perfections, skills, knowledge and wisdom may be few and far between, but my joy has the ability to be limitless if I allow it to be and I attribute a lot of that to the freedom I feel in my dazed and confused state... In fact you could call me slap happy these days.  I used to get my feelings hurt when I was in a conversation and people just tuned me out because they thought they knew it all and there was nothing I could add to their knowledge. Now, I'm off in my own little universe, totally out of touch with reality (or so they think, hehe) and I don't even get offended when they cut me off in mid-sentence, I pretty much expect it from some. I just smile and think to myself.... "What I was going to say could have been really profound"(probably not, but there is always a slim possibility). Yep, dazed and confused keeps other people from expecting me to have all the answers which is expecting WAY too much, even if I do have a lot going on. If anyone would like to join me here I can tell you the zip code is I Peter 5:5-10 and the taxes are way less taxing on the soul and the rewards are amazing!!! Really, you should try it, you just might like it and become slap happy too. Trust me, it's a good thing... That's what He keeps reminding me over and over again.