Our God is FAITHFUL

An urgent knock sounded at the front door. We welcomed two precious friends we have known for years. We sat and talked about our children who have been best friends since before they were born. We met when we were both expecting and they were born within months of each other. They have remained true and steadfast friends regardless of time or distance. Now they both struggle with the awkward time between being a child and truly being an independent adult. Our friends hearts were breaking because they just learned that the child they have loved and raised in a loving Christian home, was declaring himself agnostic. I didn't gasp in amazement or shock, as our son had made the same declaration a couple of years ago. I remember clear as day when he told me he didn't believe. As he said the words I could tell he expected a fierce reaction.... He didn't get one. I simply shook my head, nestled back into the couch and said.... "That's fine. I trust that God will reveal himself to you in His time."  I remember him looking at me like.... "That's it? That's all you're going to say?" He expected outrage, he expected anger, he expected shock.... All he got was.... "God will reveal himself to you." I could tell thought my reaction was anticlimactic. It wasn't, it was and is my genuine belief that each person must at some point seek out their own salvation. We have to know, that we know, that we know, to the very core of who we are, not because of how we were raised, not because of where we went to church, but because God has revealed himself to us in a real way that calls our hearts to him. To our friends, the shock was still fresh and it was new.... Painful. As a parent, the immediate reaction is to blame ourselves..... "Where did we go wrong? What did we do, or not do right?" My husband and I have already tumbled down that path until I finally come to this understanding. Our son was born on October 19, 1994. Christmas fell on a Sunday that year and on Christmas morning my husband and I stood before the alter and gave this child that he had entrusted to us back to him. We vowed to raise him in our faith and to teach him God's ways. We have been faithful to that vow. We ensured that he was surrounded by others who were strong in their faith. We poured into his life and allowed others to pour into his life as well. I have not rescinded the vow I made. I have not removed him from God's hands, nor has God removed him. My son may run from God's presence,  but he cannot escape God's hand, nor his plan. At some point..... The Spirit will draw him. He may reach a very dark places before God reveals himself, but I am trusting that God WILL reveal himself. The foundation on which he was raised, is firm.... And it is sure. It may be shaken, but it will not shift.... It will not crumble. God's word says "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6) My son may run, he may hide, he may deny, but the seeds that were faithfully sown into his life will not leave him. In God's time, those seeds will bear fruit. Until then.... We wait.... We pray.... We trust....  Our God is Faithful.

And This I Know...

As tolerant of a society we live in, there are still many things that are still taboo. I don't do taboos well, because if I feel it, think it or do it, there is a high probability that I'm going to blog about it and to some people, that's just not okay. I don't know what to tell you except that which is kept in darkness tends to seem bigger than it is. So often I have held fears inside and watched them grow like a monster grows under the bed of a child. When my kids were little and thought they had monsters under the bed, I didn't try to convince them monsters weren't there, I would reach under the bed, or into the closet, wherever they happen to be hiding that night and drag them out of the darkened corners and shoo them home because it was bedtime. You know, once I shooed the monsters back to where they came from, I never remember them returning to cause more angst that night. In fact, once the monster was addressed, we didn't have problems at all. If only adult monsters were as easy to shoo away. I remember having my first panic attack when I was in elementary school. I hid myself in a bathroom stall, attempting to dry heave my fears away. It wasn't until I was an adult and worked for a doctor that I realized it had a name... Panic, anxiety, it all looks the same. It's a nasty little creature that lurks in the corners of your mind, just waiting for an inopportune time to pounce on you with the fierceness of a hungry tiger. It doesn't happen full throttle very often, but when it does, I long to be able to cover my head with a blanket and call out for someone to shoo the monster back into the abyss. This I know... The fears may be unfounded, the thoughts irrational and the paralysis temporary, but the moment it sweeps over you, it seems terrifyingly real.