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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Come to Jesus Meeting With GPS System...


The day of our great adventure began with me plugging in a borrowed TomTom to get up to Dallas Fort Worth airport without any major mishaps. The key word is "borrowed". Out of all of the voices available to select to shout the directions was a guy named Richard. I looked and looked for a guy with an accent that was named Fabio, but to no avail.... Apparently whoever designed the TomTom doesn't read romantic novels therefore doesn't understand the cheap thrill it would give me to have Fabio giving me directions in a deep, sultry voice.  My second choice for a voice would be one filled with insults and sarcasm... You know one that says.... "If you're not going to listen to a word I say why don't you just turn me off stupid?" This voice would most certainly need a New York accent and parental discretion would need to be advised, cause well, you know.. Not everyone in the United States uses words like "Yes Ma'am and No Sir." Richard and I got off to a rocky relationship and not just because he didn't have a sultry voice, he kept doing his best to turn us around and head us back home. I have no idea what his problem was, but half way to Dallas me and him had a "Come to Jesus" meeting and he finally saw the light and headed us in the right direction.... I'm still trying to figure out how to tell the owner of navigation device why Richard now sports a black eye. I should have chosen a female voice if I actually wanted us to get there without any directional issues. When we headed home, I had full confidence that Richard remembered our previous little chat and would not be pulling any monkey business on us, my husband on the other hand had lost all confidence and deliberately ignored Richard in somewhat of a arrogant manner. When my husband in fact had to do a U turn because of his lack of confidence I absolutely shoved Richard in his face and made him offer a sincere and deep felt apology. From there on we were smooth sailing and we ended the trip with everyone being fast friends.

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