So Close, Yet so Far Away

I was caught in the in between state, not in a deep sleep, but not fully awake. Dreamy memories of vacation floated through my mind..... "I need to call mom today and tell her about my trip." A vivid image of her face popped into my mind, then quickly dissolved like the tide washing the last remnants of a sand castle out to sea. .  My subconscious is never ready for these moments... they shake me to my core. Sleep suddenly became illusive, and rolling out of bed seemed impossible to do. I hugged my pillow tight, these are the emotions I simply don't have the energy to fight today. The fabric of my heart is unraveling one thread at a time.  I clutch my pillow tighter still to keep the remaining threads intact.... As if it's even possible. So close, yet so far away.