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Wednesday, February 6, 2013

50 Shades of Inappropriate

I walked by the office of the owner of the company today and it sounded like he had choked on something and was hacking up a lung. My first instinct was to run in his office, hold his arm over his head and start whacking him on the back like moms used to do. I think the "How to Un-choke a Choking Child" chapter in The Mother of the Year Handbook has been amended now, but the old-school method when I was small was... Arm over head... Let the whacking begin. Before I could slip into my Super-Employee cape and save the man from a tragic death, the memo I received yesterday popped in my head. We are scheduled to have a sexual harassment seminar later this month. Suddenly my Super-Employee act of the day seemed.... Uhmmm, questionable. What if my heroic actions was misconstrued as 50 Shades of Inappropriate and grounds for a dismissal? Against every natural instinct of a super employee and/or mom, I just kept on walking and prayed he could manage the Heimlich on his own. I may be many things, but 50 Shades of Inappropriate I AM NOT.... Or at least I don't think I am. So sad that in today's lawsuit happy, politically correct world, the simple random act of kindness must be measured with extreme caution and without any degree of humor whatsoever.  We haven't even had it yet and I can already see some blog worthy material coming.

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