It's Not Sleep Ellipticalling, It's Survival

I've been hitting the gym lately attempting to shake off those nasty holiday pounds and get things firmed up for my class reunion cruise in a couple of weeks. Due to a sudden uptick of violence in our area, my husband has lovingly requested I not go walking in the dark. The request is sweet, but it also means I'm back in the gym with other sweaty bodies all focused on an array of televisions tuned to different channels. For the record.... 5 -6 televisions with different shows, visually overwhelms me. I listen to my music, so it's not that I care people are watching TV, it's just that my eyes are constantly bouncing around the room. If eye bouncing helped me burn more calories (and I don't think it does),then I'd be okay with it, but bouncing without benefits is just tiring. That being said, this is what I don't understand.... Why (why, why, why) would you go to the gym and workout while watching the food network or some other cooking show? Doesn't

that seem... Oh, I don't know.... Counterproductive!?!? I used to go to the gym at lunch, which meant I was working out instead of eating, the entire wall of TVs would be tuned to cooking shows.... Hello, anyone home?!? Maybe others aren't as visually stimulated by the sight of food like myself, but an hour of watching the food network makes me want to stab my eyes out and then rush

myself to Braums for a double cheese burger, chili cheese fries and a 44 oz milkshake to dull the pain. Instead of enduring the torture, I do the elliptical with my eyes close. I'm sure it makes me look like I'm sleep ellipticalling (my spell checker doesn't like that word because it's a Jackieism), but it's the only thing that keeps me from wanting to lick the workout equipment which on a weirdness scale would have to rate way higher than sleep ellipticalling. Seriously, don't you think it would?