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Monday, January 7, 2013

Instructions on How to Ruin a Perfectly Good Double Boiler

Question of the day..... "How do you ruin a perfectly good double boiler?"

Answer: Although I am sure there are multiple methods to ruining a perfectly good double boiler, this is the only one I've personally had success with.

Step 1: Have one of your children ask for your special Mac and Cheese for dinner. Actually, it's better to have their girlfriend ask for the special dish insuring that you will feel the need to perform.

Step 2: Place the ingredients in the pan and place on the stove to begin the cooking process.

Step 3: Begin to collate the papers that have been printed off for your "End of the world prepping manual".... Or some other medial task any moron with 1/2 a brain could do in 2 seconds.

Step 4: This step is a little iffy.... At some point between having printing the "End of the world manual" prepping papers and actually collating the said papers, they need to become jumbled up so that collating   become difficult AND distracting.... They need to be really jumbled and you need to be in a time crunch. These papers are very important! At the End of the world meeting when everyone was asked what skills they brought to the group, you basically couldn't think of any particular talent you could contribute, so you volunteered to be the group secretary.  This means you you are actually  double performing here.... Cooking Mac and Cheese to impress girlfriend and collating papers to insure the survival of all  your friends by having their survival manual correctly printed, collated and labeled.

If the steps listed above are done correctly and if it takes enough time, the double boiler will become dry. When you see that this has happened lift the bottom pan and remove it from the heating element onto a cool surface. You should hear a giant POP!!!! That sound is the solid bottom plate of the pan being ripped away from the pan itself. When you become hysterical that your new pan is now ruined, your husband should assure you that it can still be used since you still have both pieces. He will tell you to place the solid piece on the heating element and place the pan on top of it and it should work just fine. When you try this, you will immediately notice that he is WRONG and your pan just doesn't work as a double boiler.  Now when people suggest that you could tear up an anvil in a sandbox, you can say..... "No, but I do know how to destroy a perfectly good double boiler"

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