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Friday, February 12, 2010

The Flaws In Me

How do you start over
With nothing in your heart
But emptiness and broken parts
Truly where do you start
How do you recapture
A passion that's young and free
Where does one regain
What is now old history
If memories is all you have
How do you begin anew
Your former self and who you are
Can you possibly combine the two
Or is what's missing gone for good
Never to be seen again
A distant past reminder
That sadly good things end
And what's it like to settle
For only what now remains
And exsist now and forever
With no hope of more to gain
Brokenness leaves it's scars
Some find strength to heal
Others live forever
Without fully being filled
I've seen my dreams crumble
Right before my eyes
I've watched a long process
Of a love that finally dies
I remember once a while ago
When anger consumed my soul
For that which was taken
Something I will never hold
But that was then
This is now
New valleys I must cross
New determination
To further bare this cross
And somehow find a way
To smile to those around
As if all is wonderful
As if true joy abounds
A facade of great magnitude
One that can pass the test
And convince those around me
My soul is true at rest
I will simply fake it
And pray real joy returns
And fire is kindled in my heart
Regardless how undeserved
I'll take the blame forever
Accepting all the loss
I'll live by distant memories
I will count my every cost
Of all that I have sacrificed
All that I have lost
At times things were very good
Perhaps I did not tend my heart
The way a woman should
Still blessings abound in spite of it all
The sadness that I see
Much blessed with a loving husband
despite of the flaws in me

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