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Monday, August 27, 2012

The Monkey on My Back

What a beautiful weekend. Thank goodness summer is coming to a close and fall is just ahead. My husband and I took advantage of the weather this weekend and tended to some much needed yard work. The last couple of years have been brutal as far as our desire to get anything accomplished past the front door. Unwanted weeds and weed trees(trees I don't want) have invaded our yard until we really are starting to look like the Herman Munster House. It amazes me how someone like myself, you know someone who can't keep a cactus alive, can grow the most amazing, vivacious weeds and weed trees.  These lawn rascals simply cannot be killed. Trust me, if I can't kill them, nobody can.  I took Riley and Sailor outside to work beside me. I like having them around, and they like being wherever we are... Well, usually. I put them both on leashes so they couldn't run off while I was preoccupied with cutting off limbs... Limbs of weed trees, not my personal attached at the body type of limbs. You would have thought I was taking Riley to dog Six Flags or something, she gets so excited about doing anything that the snorting could get on my nerves if I let it. After a while she settled down under a tree and behaved herself, which trust me can be a full time job for her.My husband brought out the reciprocating saw and went around back to mow the lawn. I know, kind of amazing isn't it, him leaving me unsupervised with a sharp power tool. It's scary crazy how much that man loves me! So, Sailor is my shy little scaredy cat. Well, at 182 lbs, she isn't exactly little, but she doesn't know that. She doesn't like change, loud noises, new environments, kids or strangers, in spite of the fact that I have tried to socialize her like a responsible pet owner should. Trust me, the first time you have to pull someones head from her mouth, you stop trying the socialize approach and turn to the tranquilize method
instead... Yeah, I'm really not kidding. Anyway, a tree fell down a few weeks ago and I just let it lay because it was so dang hot, and really who cared about it anyway, no one could see it (yeah, that's just my relaxed style). This weekend was the perfect time to cut it up and get it out... Except Sailor was freaked out, she wanted to be on me, panting like a rabid coon. It was like cutting up a tree with a 182 lb. spider monkey on my back. I took a log and tied her leash around it, I thought that would hold her back and slow her down, but no, she just followed me around, dragging her log with her. Let me just say it.... She looked ridiculous! I went to put something in the dumpster, she tried to follow me and got her log caught between the rock fence and the car and I just looked at her like she had lost her everlovin mind and thought to myself.... "That must be what God sees when he looks at me. A nonsensical mess of a woman dragging fears and anxieties that have yet to manifest themselves around behind her like a nut." If Sailor could only see how silly she looked lugging that log around, terrified of imaginary horrors, when there was absolutely nothing to be afraid of...  Well except for the fact that I had a sharp power tool thingy. I told her how silly she looked and just how ridiculous she was acting then I went in the house and bought out her doggie Xanax. In a few minutes she was resting peacefully under the cedar tree, keeping a close eye on me to make sure I didn't cut my foot off and things ran smoothly for the rest of the day. Yep, the lesson for the day is, life is too short to walk around with a giant spider monkeys on your back or logs hooked around your ankle. Shake it off, take a Xanax and get back to work!

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