This is Totally Doable With a Hug and a Blue Moon

For the most part, yesterday wasn't one of my finest hours. Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, maybe I was hormonal, or maybe I was just simply not having a good day. Whatever the reason, I wasn't sad to see it end. Yesterday afternoon a co-worker came over to encourage me... She said it looked like I needed a hug and she was right, sometimes a hug makes all the difference in the world. After my hug she said "At least tomorrow is Friday and it's a 3 day weekend, we're off Monday." I think I may have strained my neck a little as my head snapped up in disbelief. "We're off? Why are we off? We don't work Monday?" Silly me, I hadn't realized we had a holiday coming up. On top of that, tonight we'll have a Blue Moon.  In one short second the day went from being unbearable to totally doable under a Blue Moon. That's just how quickly a hug can turn things around.

And This I Know...

As tolerant of a society we live in, there are still many things that are still taboo. I don't do taboos well, because if I feel it, think it or do it, there is a high probability that I'm going to blog about it and to some people, that's just not okay. I don't know what to tell you except that which is kept in darkness tends to seem bigger than it is. So often I have held fears inside and watched them grow like a monster grows under the bed of a child. When my kids were little and thought they had monsters under the bed, I didn't try to convince them monsters weren't there, I would reach under the bed, or into the closet, wherever they happen to be hiding that night and drag them out of the darkened corners and shoo them home because it was bedtime. You know, once I shooed the monsters back to where they came from, I never remember them returning to cause more angst that night. In fact, once the monster was addressed, we didn't have problems at all. If only adult monsters were as easy to shoo away. I remember having my first panic attack when I was in elementary school. I hid myself in a bathroom stall, attempting to dry heave my fears away. It wasn't until I was an adult and worked for a doctor that I realized it had a name... Panic, anxiety, it all looks the same. It's a nasty little creature that lurks in the corners of your mind, just waiting for an inopportune time to pounce on you with the fierceness of a hungry tiger. It doesn't happen full throttle very often, but when it does, I long to be able to cover my head with a blanket and call out for someone to shoo the monster back into the abyss. This I know... The fears may be unfounded, the thoughts irrational and the paralysis temporary, but the moment it sweeps over you, it seems terrifyingly real.

Walk, Walk, Walking on Broken Glass

Not my feet

Earlier this week during my nightly walk, I noticed it felt like I had a pebble or something in my shoe. Since I was so excited about the cooling weather and how pleasant it was to finally be able to walk outside, I didn't want to pause my walk long enough to get the pebble out and decided to just power through. Maybe I took the term "No pain, no gain" a little too serious. Last night I experienced the same thing, except it felt like a needle was piercing through the ball of my foot with every step. Did I slow down or pause to see what on earth could be causing the problem? Of course I didn't, I needed to go the distance, pick up the speed, make up for the lost walks due to the summer heat. When I finally got home I decided maybe it was time to see what all the throbbing pain was about. When I looked at my foot, nothing appeared to be wrong. I ran my finger across the tender spot and couldn't feel anything, that's when I decided to do some digging around. I grabbed the nail clippers in my night stand and began excising the area of pain... "If it hurts just cut it out and go on." After a few minutes of excavation, kind of like an archaeological dig except on the ball of my foot, I thought I saw something sparkle in the the dim light. Sure enough I pulled out a shard of glass and remembered something about my husband saying to be careful in the kitchen because a glass had gotten broken. My foot didn't hurt as much before the dig as it did afterwards. I was pretty sure that I would wake up this morning with a raging staph infection or a hellaciously swollen foot. To my amazement my foot didn't fall off and it feels nothing like I've been walk, walk, walking on broken glass for several days. And let me just add, I am thrilled the pain wasn't caused by some dull splinter, at least my injury had a tad of bling.

The Monkey on My Back

What a beautiful weekend. Thank goodness summer is coming to a close and fall is just ahead. My husband and I took advantage of the weather this weekend and tended to some much needed yard work. The last couple of years have been brutal as far as our desire to get anything accomplished past the front door. Unwanted weeds and weed trees(trees I don't want) have invaded our yard until we really are starting to look like the Herman Munster House. It amazes me how someone like myself, you know someone who can't keep a cactus alive, can grow the most amazing, vivacious weeds and weed trees.  These lawn rascals simply cannot be killed. Trust me, if I can't kill them, nobody can.  I took Riley and Sailor outside to work beside me. I like having them around, and they like being wherever we are... Well, usually. I put them both on leashes so they couldn't run off while I was preoccupied with cutting off limbs... Limbs of weed trees, not my personal attached at the body type of limbs. You would have thought I was taking Riley to dog Six Flags or something, she gets so excited about doing anything that the snorting could get on my nerves if I let it. After a while she settled down under a tree and behaved herself, which trust me can be a full time job for her.My husband brought out the reciprocating saw and went around back to mow the lawn. I know, kind of amazing isn't it, him leaving me unsupervised with a sharp power tool. It's scary crazy how much that man loves me! So, Sailor is my shy little scaredy cat. Well, at 182 lbs, she isn't exactly little, but she doesn't know that. She doesn't like change, loud noises, new environments, kids or strangers, in spite of the fact that I have tried to socialize her like a responsible pet owner should. Trust me, the first time you have to pull someones head from her mouth, you stop trying the socialize approach and turn to the tranquilize method

instead... Yeah, I'm really not kidding. Anyway, a tree fell down a few weeks ago and I just let it lay because it was so dang hot, and really who cared about it anyway, no one could see it (yeah, that's just my relaxed style). This weekend was the perfect time to cut it up and get it out... Except Sailor was freaked out, she wanted to be on me, panting like a rabid coon. It was like cutting up a tree with a 182 lb. spider monkey on my back. I took a log and tied her leash around it, I thought that would hold her back and slow her down, but no, she just followed me around, dragging her log with her. Let me just say it.... She looked ridiculous! I went to put something in the dumpster, she tried to follow me and got her log caught between the rock fence and the car and I just looked at her like she had lost her everlovin mind and thought to myself.... "That must be what God sees when he looks at me. A nonsensical mess of a woman dragging fears and anxieties that have yet to manifest themselves around behind her like a nut." If Sailor could only see how silly she looked lugging that log around, terrified of imaginary horrors, when there was absolutely nothing to be afraid of...  Well except for the fact that I had a sharp power tool thingy. I told her how silly she looked and just how ridiculous she was acting then I went in the house and bought out her doggie Xanax. In a few minutes she was resting peacefully under the cedar tree, keeping a close eye on me to make sure I didn't cut my foot off and things ran smoothly for the rest of the day. Yep, the lesson for the day is, life is too short to walk around with a giant spider monkeys on your back or logs hooked around your ankle. Shake it off, take a Xanax and get back to work!

Fall, Floors & Back to School

Awe.... When I stepped out the front door this morning I could actually feel fall in the air. This time last year Oklahoma was experiencing the hottest August in history, and fall felt like it was a lifetime away. Today was the first day of school for some in our area and the breeze itself intimated falls arrival. My daughter and I were reminiscing about back to school. She used to love getting her new school supplies, meeting her new teachers and the "smell" of the first day of school... It's a smell you never forget. Fall wouldn't be the same without back to school, and back to school wouldn't be the same without the smell of freshly waxed floors (the schools floors, not mine... Lord knows not mine).

You've Got Mail

I've heard of therapist who have clients write letters describing their angst with a problem person in their life...Not that I have any of those people, or know anyone who has any of those people.  The reason my therapist doesn't ask me do this, is because she knows I would mail the letter which I don't think you're actually suppose to do, or I would blog my letter and post it on Facebook, which I'm also assuming you shouldn't do, but I would do it anyway because there is a burning desire and a great deal of release in just spitting it out, even if it's like spitting into the wind and no one on the planet knows what you're talking about but you. The problem with blogging your angst is everyone can read it and they seem to wonder if it's directed at them, but I can assure you that the problem people in your life will never be the ones to think it could be about them, even though they believe everything is about them, because they don't see themselves as EVER being the problem and therein lies the problem people. Geeze, I feel better already.

The Beauty of Discovery

At the beginning of the summer, out of the goodness of my heart toward all mankind (and Al Gore), I decided to single handedly fight global warming by purchasing season passes to White Water Bay. Knowing that Murphy's Law is my constant shadow and most often my personal assistant, I was certain that my purchase of a season pass would guarantee the temperatures in Oklahoma would fall short of the record breaking heat from last year. Guess what? It worked!!!! In 2011 Oklahoma had 63 days with temperatures of 100 or greater. So far this year, we have only had 25 days. Y'all are so welcome! I've spent several lazy Saturdays stretched out at the edge of the wave pool, while my husband scopes out unusual tattoos (and probably bikini clad beauties). When he spots an extra special tattoo, he comes to get me and we would stalk the tattoo wearer, so I can see for myself. Yes, we are easily amused.... You may talk among yourselves now. Anyway, my daughter and I love to watch the wee ones as they discover the qualities of water. It's so sweet to watch them hesitantly approach the water with wide eyed fascination. They will begin to explore it, usually with one little finger. I can practically see the wheels turning in their little brains as they try to figure out how it runs through their fingers. They will try to hold it down with their chubby little feet only to find it can't be contained.They will stomp on it and then, the magic of discovering the ... The splash! They will squat down, touch the water with little fingers then wave both hands as fast as they can and to watch the water swirl around with bubbles and waves. Everything is new to the eyes of a wee one. Oh how I've missed getting to watch little ones discovering their world. As an adult, it's easy to become cynical about discovering new things. It's easy to get stuck in a rut and cease to be fascinated by life itself. It's easy to fight any change fearing it will disrupt... I don't know, I guess the boredom we create for ourselves. So, my quest to fight global warming, gave me the opportunity to spend some sweet summer days watching the beauty of discovery through the eyes of many toddlers, and nudged me to do some discovering of myself. God only knows what wonders may lay ahead.