Task at Hand

While headed to another department with a handful of papers, one slipped from my hand. I reached to grab it before it landed on the floor. The first attempt was a failure, but caused the paper to be swept higher in the air. I did an ever graceful (not) ballet as I tried to fetch the paper as it floated up and away from me. Finally I managed to trap it against my body to gain control. I quickly looked around me to make sure no one had witnessed the Lucile Ball moment. Assured that my dance had not been seen, I continued on. I thought to myself... Things have away of getting away from you. Hanging onto your senses, your self-esteem and your core values can sometimes be an awkward dance. It's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of this world and easy to be distracted by things that have no eternal value. Keeping a focus on what really matters is the task at hand.... At least for me.

Backing Down a Giant - The Lion King

I know you probably get tired of my pet stories. What can I say?? Just a taste of what it will be like when (and if) I ever have grandchildren. Please just grin and bear with me. The latest addition to our family is Morph the Cat... All 5 lbs and 7 oz. of him. Due to the size, and sometimes the excitability of my dogs, introducing Morph the Cat to Riley (Bulldog) and Sailor (175lb Mastiff) has been a very slow process. My dogs aren't mean, well, Riley could probably have a mean streak if I allowed her to, but mainly she is just a wild child. They are just very large and when Sailor steps on your foot by mistake, the pain is quite... Painful.  Morph has been getting used to his new environment. I have kept the dogs separated from him when they are in the house. The last few days I've been slowly introducing them, mainly while they are in their kennels. When Sailor first met Morph, she just wanted a little sniff but every little hair on Morphs 5 pound body stood straight up and he gave her a quick hiss and spit in her face. Sailor has

The Lion King

no concept of her weight or size and she believes that Morph could really rip her to shreds. Sailor has now decided, if the cat is running around the house, she will just stay in the safety of her kennel. She also seems to believe that if she doesn't look at Morph, he won't attack her. She is such a silly dog. Riley's first meeting with Morph happened when Morph wondered into the dining room where Riley's kennel is and startled her out of a sound sleep. She came awake in full Bulldog attack mode (but really that's more bluff than anything). This weekend I opened Riley's kennel doors and invited her out to meet Morph in a more civilized way. The first thing she wanted to do is lick, but she just couldn't bring herself to get close enough. She slowly took a couple of steps out of the kennel. Morph stared at her for a few seconds then shot her a stern warning, hiss, spit. Riley slowly put it in reverse, turned her back and went and laid on her pillow with her face to the wall. Whatever Morph said to the dogs in "cat speak" certainly got the message across to them that you don't mess with the cat. Morph is feeling pretty saucy with himself and has taken his place at the top of the food chain in the Patterson household....  At least for Now.

Wired Up and Ready to Roll

This morning I packed up ready to head to the office. My husband asked me if I had all of my electronics with me. I absolutely did. In my purse I packed my Blackberry for all of those important phone calls and pesky little text I
enjoy so much. I had my portable Sirius Stiletto which carried all of the music I had downloaded as well as giving me access to satellite radio. I was also packing my electrode message gadget that is like bringing my own
personal masseuse with me to work. As I headed out the door I told my husband that I was fully wired and ready to roll. What on earth would we do without our gadgets?

The Story of the Real Christ

This month is Revival month for Ray of Hope Church in Comanche, OK. Last weekend Jason Crabb

preached for A.M. service and sang for P.M. service. Let me say for the record that the boy has a set of lungs on him that won't stop! He can sing! He wasn't just raised under a pew, he was raised on stage and he can preach as well as he can sing.  For the second week in a row we had someone preaching about..... Being Real! I seriously about fell off the pew when he was talking about how Christians put on fronts like we got it all together, when really we got stuff falling apart just like everybody else.... Churched or unchruched! That's pretty much been my mantra over the last year! Take down the facades and show people that we have stuff just like they have stuff and yes..... We struggle.  I don't care who you are, I don't care if you go to church or if you've never darkened the doors, we all struggle with something, regardless of how perfect we might think we are.  Some struggle with addictions, some with pornography, some with self-esteem issues and some with pure old self-righteousness. We all struggle with something... Because we are human.  We smile for our friends, we go through the motions, we strive to overcome, but we struggle and often pretend that we don't! Why, why, why do we do that? Pride. Simple and hard to swallow.... At the core of our being we struggle with selfishness (the cause of sin) and pride (which God opposes) and then have the audacity to pretend to others that we don't.  I suppose we want to look or sound more superior than we really are.... Sad but true. We pretend we don't want to be put on a pedestal and then we try to hoist ourselves up on one. The thing about pretending we don't struggle or haven't been delievered from anything, is when we do that others who are in the middle of their sturggle or in the pit of their addiction don't understand that delieverance is possible, redemption is possible. They look at all the pretty people in church, doing all the right things and think to themselves.... I'll never fit in, or I have to get over this by myself first or they will never accept me, or worse, Christ will never except me... I'm not perfect. That's

exactly like Christ rising from the grave but pretending he was never dead!!! What good does that do anyone? Not only did Christ rise from the dead, he had the scars to prove it. Christ used those scars to minister to others, that's what Christ did. Why do we want to pretend we are something more than what we really are? Christ found each and every Christian in the pit of their sin and he brought them out or is in the process of bringing them out. News flash!!! Forgiveness is instant, delieverance most often takes time, it is a process.  I don't have to worry about feeling like an angel unless you're talking about the fallen kind. I'm flawed with much forgiven, which is the story of Christ!!!! I couldn't be happier to be in that position because there is nothing to live up to, he's already done it for me.  All I have to do is let his mercy and his grace flood my heart until it penetrates the marrow of my bones. It doesn't matter that I was raised under a pew or followed the 29 prominent teachings of the church; all that matters is that I'm forgiven.... That's as good as it can get!

Walking In the Shade

 

"False friends are like our shadow, keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine, but leaving us the instant we cross into the shade."
Christian N. Bovee

 A friend on facebook posted this quote the other day. It immediately jumped out at me because I wasn't just in the shade last year, I was completely in the dark. I can honestly say nothing will teach you about being judged, critiqued or deserted like walking in the dark places for a time. You can't really blame others when you take a sharp turn with your personality and actions, but it still stings and makes you realize that most friendship are of the conditional nature. My journey has made me take a step back and take a good look at my judgments toward others. If I can't love in the dark times as well as the light times, what good is my love? If I can't offer companionship during the times of difficulty, why offer it at all? I don't want to be a good times only friend, I want to be a through thick or thin friend. When the seas of life get rough and you lose your way, that's when you need the life vest of a true friend wrapped around you. It really is possible to love someone without agreeing with everything they do. It seems like the position of choice is to stand outside the shaded areas until they wonder back into the light instead of going into the darkness and being a light which points them back to the sun (or should I Son).The other day a good friend (who I take particular pride in harassing) said.... "Yep, the old Jac is back." He had know idea how much that meant to me; it literally brought tears to my eyes. I can't even explain the difficulty of the path back, nor the lessons learned while I was there. Walking in the shade isn't fun, but it is very enlightening. It certainly made me look at things (and people) much differently. 

 "Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light."
Norman B. Rice

 

 

Beneath His Wings

Beneath His wings he sheltered me...

From all I could and could not see...

The shadows darkened, bathed my sight...

His eyes did not turn from mine...

He kept me safe till the storm did pass...

He cleared the way, He lit my path...

When others turned away from me...

He turned and smiled so tenderly...

His love never left my side...

It's in His love I now can hide...

 Never fearing he'll turn away...

Always knowing His love does save...

So Close Yet So Far Away

I'm an insomniac so I keep hypnosis sleep music on my Sirius Stiletto. Some of it's just music, some of it is guided relaxation. One of the guided relaxation recordings I've had for a long time. I call him my little Sandman. The minute I hear Sandman's voice my muscles turn to jelly and before he has me surrounded by fog I'm asleep. His voice gets more and more quiet as the recording progresses... I love Sandman! Anyway, the other day I downloaded a couple of other sleep aids to see how they

Starting to fade

worked. I have them set up so they play back to back giving me hours of sleep (usually). They are set up so Sandman is the last recording before it just goes to my country music. So last night I fell asleep during my Deep Sleep with Underwater Sounds. Doesn't that sound refreshing?! I guess it was a couple of hours later that I began to dream that I was talking on the phone to Harrison Ford!!! I've always been a BIG Harrison Ford fan... Until he started to age so ungracefully. I know that's shallow of me, but a man with his kind of fortune could afford to have those jowls worked on. Since he started dating that Calista woman (I'm really blaming her), he's looking more and more like my Bulldog, although not in a "so ugly you gotta love em" kinda way. Do I sound a little resentful??? I think I might be, he is allowing

His finer days

himself to age in a way that has totally tipped him off of the pedestal I put him on. So, on with the story! I'm talking to Harrison Ford, and in spite of his jowls, my muscles are turning to jelly and I'm pretty dang excited about it. Until... In my dream I begin to recognize that his voice is changing and he is starting to sound just like my Sandman!!! Dang It! The minute I realize he is not Harrison but my Sandman, I wake up!!! I was so disappointed because I wasn't talking to Harrison Ford after all and because now I'm awake and not really happy... It was like a double wammy! I come so close, yet so far away. Stupid Sandman.