Twice a year a craft/exhibit show called
"Affair of the Heart" comes to a nearby city. My girlfriends and I love to make it an outing but the last few years we've had a hard time getting our schedules together to be able to do so. This year one of my girlfriends asked if I could go.I realized I was taking a chance at another huge crowd event, but you gotta face your demons.
We've both had a lot going on and to be honest we haven't talked much all year, so I was looking forward to getting some one on one time with her and about a billion other women. The ooh-ing and the awe-ing is at an all time high at these things. Massive amounts of women of all ages and a few tortured husbands, who look like they are being dragged through estrogen hell, attend. The booths are "all things girlie", crafts galore, it's just an overwhelming amount of stuff. There are 7..... count them 7 buildings packed like sardines with mostly
girl stuff! It's a total sensory overload!!!! First and foremost, we must find and partake in the strawberry crepe booth. I think there is actually a city ordinance about this requirement. My crepe had to have "extra pudding", cause I like things the way I like them. When the sugar rush was in full swing... Let the shopping begin. Immediately I break the ice by purchasing 2 braclets that I could simply not continue my life without. Shallow? Yes, no doubt but that's just the way I roll. My personal gauge of whether or not you're having a good time is basically related to how many packages you are carrying.
We were both having a good time and our purses where beginning to weigh heavy on our shoulders. When we got to the middle of what I think was our 4th building, we turned a corner only to find ourselves on the same isle as we had just left. We doubled back and found an isle that looked new and fresh.... In fact I think we both bought bell necklaces on this isle before we realized that we had been down the isle before and never even seen the bell necklace booth. That's really not unusual considering how many people and booths there are, so we forged ahead. Then we realized that every other isle was an isle that we had seen before. We were in the middle of the building so I knew we hadn't been down all the isles. We continued to double back searching, searching, searching for the isle that was after the isle before the one we were on now (exactly!! That's exactly how we felt. Say what?). We were very confused, it was like we were in some kind of science fiction continuum and stuck in girl stuff heaven with no way out. We couldn't figure out if we were just coming off the sugar high from the crepes (if so we needed more crepes), or if our Alzheimer's had conveniently picked this time, this place to simultaneously strike both of us.... Or on a more sinister note, it was some cruel Dave Ramsey punishment for throwing caution and budgeting envelopes to the wind. Whatever the cause it was imperative that we find the exit and get our bearings. When we finally got out of
building from hell.... I think we were both pretty much done. Our feet hurt, our backs ached and we both felt.... Well, less than what we used to be. I told my friend we may have to start taking her teenage daughter with us just to lead us around so we wouldn't get lost. Better yet, we could invent a
"An Affair of the Heart" GPS that would keep people like us on track. Little did we know that the building from hell opened up to the parking lot maze from hell. Seriously, seriously, are we being filmed by a hidden camera or something? Geeze-freakin-Whiz!!!! I thought we would never find the car! "Dear God" I prayed under my breath.... "Please do not let that be an example of things to come." We made it back home in one piece (well two pieces since there were two of us). I humbly came into the house with my head hung in shame. I asked my husband if he loved me. When he said yes, I asked if he could put an actual dollar amount to that love because he wasn't going to be happy when the credit card bill came next month. He wrapped me in his arms, like he always does, and told me what was done was done and he hoped I felt better (I hadn't had a good couple of days). Actually I felt a lot better I informed him. When I've had a bad day or I'm depressed, buying things soothes me... It's my drug of choice and yes I recognize that's not a good thing and will seriously work on it. I think that being transported into An "
Affair of the Heart" that read like "Groundhog Day" totally reformed this shopoholic. At least untill February when the next one comes to town.
it even more apparent that I spend too much which is a fact I'm already
well aware of so why the need for a reminder of something I already
know?!! In order to see to it that this attempt wasn't a total failure. .
. He took away all my credit cards, including my super secret credit
card that I didn't think he knew about. I told you it was an addiction!!! When you start hiding your credit cards like a drunk hides
their whiskey, Sister you may have a problem. His confiscation left me
with no choice but to stop shopping cold turkey. I am now the shopping
equivalent of a tee-totaller and it's starting to take a toll. I have been very proud of myself, especially over the summer. The mailman and I have an understanding. . . . Since he also delivers to where my husband works, we have an agreement that he doesn't mention the deliveries he makes (or used to make) to me. Every day when he drops off the mail,
I take the stack (STACK) of catalogs I receive and without even looking through them, I put them in the shred box. It's been June since I've been shopping, and that includes online. The season is changing, the new fall catalogs are arriving and if I had a sponsor like they do in AA, mine would be a busy little bee keeping up with my urge to splurge calls. I've assembled a nice little stack of catalogs showing the new fall fashions. Try as I may, I can't bring myself to shred them yet. It's like an itch that I can't scratch or a twitch that could quickly turn into a twerk. Epiphany!!
