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Friday, September 18, 2009

How Much Do You Trust Me?

I got a phone call this morning (3 a.m.) from my daughter who is on deployment in enemy waters. When she joined the military she quickly found out that she was basically raised in a bubble. As I used to tell her when she would call home home "they call this area the bible belt for a reason". After catching up on the family and friend chit chat, she briefly began to describe where they are. "Mom, I don't know how to describe it, but when you go up on deck it's like there is this..... ominous feeling.... it feels like evil here". Then she mentioned that a couple of the ships in their fleet had actually been fired upon in the last couple of days. As I hung up from talking to her I turned to her Dad and told him what she had said. As he said, "She is where it all began and she is where it all will end". At that very moment fear threatened to grip my heart like never before, but it didn't. At just a couple of months old my husband and I stood before the alter where we both took our vows and gently cradled our first born in our arms as the ministered prayed his dedication prayer over her and our family. At that moment I gave God what I had always wanted.... my child. Since I was old enough to want to be something, I wanted to be a Mother. Giving birth was the greatest joy in my life next to watching those precious children grow into balanced, God-loving adults. That day standing at the alter I gave God my child, to have and to hold, to love and to protect all the days of her life. Do I trust him enough to know he protects her in the middle of the ocean? Do I trust him enough to know his hand will shelter her from all danger? Do I trust him with every breath she takes? I can shout a resounding YES, my God is able! There is a peace in knowing I am not the one in control. Am I concerned? Yes. But I will not fear. I will rest in the knowledge that God has everything in his perfect control and all I have to do is sit back and believe. Yes, my God is able, I trust him that much!

3 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, I am speechless. Your words are breathtaking. I actually am hearing some of that info for the first time and I couldn't agree more to put it in God's hands. I know the Lord will bring them home safe and sound. Where are you from?

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  2. I am from Oklahoma. I'm not sure how someone goes through this without faith in a God bigger than ourselves.

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  3. Jackie your writing is beautiful. You are so able to pour your heart out into words. It takes me back to the time that my own daughter was in harms way. It is a terrible but wonderful time. A time when there is a constant pain in your heart, but also a time to nestle in a little closer under the wings of our Father. It is definitely a time of faith-building. But knowing that Aja is in the care of our Father brings peace to your soul. When she is home, this time will fade from the front of your mind but it leaves a forever footprint upon your life. You will be able to step back from the edge of the cliff that your emotions are on and begin to be at ease again. But we never look at our military in the same way again. Before Iraq & Carli's deployment I prayed for our service men & women but it wasn't a fervent prayer. But now I know the sacrifices that they make and so do their families. And I am so with you on your pride of Seth. He is an amazing young man. He has always been one to light up a room and take over with his wit. It seems as if God has certainly put him into the place he belongs. We love you & Mike and appreciate all that you do for the kingdom. Know that we are praying for your family. Love ya, peggy

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