Even Ground

Last night I started another sweet
journey with Beth Moore. Over the
last several years I have taken many
of her courses and enjoyed each and
one. This is the longest period of time that I've gone without being in  a bible study and I have missed it a lot. This study couldn't be more perfectly timed for me as the last year or longer has been a very dark and lonely place..... Especially spiritually. As the video began last night, I could feel the little God bumps rise on my arms in excited anticipation as to what he would reveal to and in me during this study. Every time I take one of her courses, I feel like a dry sponge just soaking up fresh water for my soul. That's not saying I don't sit under wonderful leadership and teaching on a regular basis at my church, there is just something about the way she gets down to the nitty gritty of a woman's heart. She approaches each study with wit, charm and a humility that few bible scholars could even imagine much less convey to the ordinary person they are speaking to. That's why I love listening to her, she's just a woman on a journey who invites her girlfriends along for a great adventure in the word. I read a quote by her that said.... "True intimacy with God always brings humility." I have learned to appreciate humility after being raised in a denomination with little, if any. One thing I truly believe is those who are intimate with God never sit on a pedestal, but rather sit under the foot of the cross where everyone is on even ground and where the turf is well watered with the tears of their repentance. Yes, I'm looking forward to a wonderful journey.

I'm Having a Mess Reduction

I wish I had a dime for every time I heard someone say..... "And I thought they were suppose to be a Christian!". This statement is usually said with a somewhat scrunched up nose,typically a little side to side head bob, and in a tone of utter disgust. This is the part where I usually bite my tongue (till blood is trickling down my chin), take a deep breath and just try to remain calm and not cry. Why??? Because if there were ever an imperfect person to carry the title of "Christian" it would be me. The only thing that keeps me going, is the knowledge that well people don't need a doctor, nor a hospital. I know I'm sick at heart and the only place to receive true healing is at the foot of the cross.... That's why I'm called a Christian, not because I'm perfect, but because I'm not. I honestly think a lot of people believe Christians claim to be perfect. Trust me I've run across a lot of Christians who believed they were indeed perfect, boy are they in for a big surprise. Every single day of my life I wake up fighting against every fleshly instinct and desire. EVERY DAY!!! My definition of a Christian is someone who does exactly that.... They are fighting with everything they've got not to become everything they shouldn't be and to become everything they should be in Christ. Proclaiming to be a Christian is a hard fought battle.... It is not for the weak at heart. Part of the reason it is so difficult is because if you carry that title everyone around you who doesn't is just waiting for you to slip up..... Waiting for you to fail... Just so they'll have the opportunity to say.... "I thought she was suppose to be a Christian" I'll sadly admit that I myself have been guilty as charged. I've looked at other Christians behavior in distaste and wondered how they had the nerve to set foot in a church. I was raised in a church that believed if you followed the rules and teachings that they put together in a little pamphlet then you were good and could be called a Christian, if you didn't you were damned to hell in a hand basket.The older I've gotten the more I realize that everyone struggles with something. Some people struggle in the dark hoping no one will find out that they are struggling, while others struggle out loud so that no one will be caught by surprise if they find out they're not perfect (I would be the one struggling out loud). Some days I feel like climbing to the roof with a sign that says "I'm fighting for my life". When I lay my head down at night I smile quietly to myself if I think I haven't been a total embarrassment to Christ. On the nights when I know that I have, I hang my head in shame and vow to do better tomorrow. My Christian walk is taken step by step, day by day and none of it is taken lightly. The amount of grace that has poured over me could fill the ocean and the sins that I have been forgiven of would cover the it's floor. I'm a total mess.... If you don't think so, just ask my husband. But my mess is made less by Christ so I can be more in Him. If you're a mess too, I know a place you can go to have a "Mess Reduction".... It won't make you perfect but it will lighten your load.

His Healing Powers Infiltrate My Pores

Like oil from a vase on my head it was poured

It did cover my body from head to the floor

Like hot molten honey fresh from the flame

It infiltrated my being through pores, past the veins

Through the flesh and the fibers to bone it did reach

down to the morrow where sin was so deep

It penetrated my heart and covered my soul

It cleansed every sin my mind could behold

The healing power so strong and so quick

With a tongue like a fire my wounds it did lick

It cleansed me deep with the blood of the cross

All my past sins, to the depths of the seas they were tossed

A crown on my head was set with great care

To signify the sins I'd left there

And tho I'm not worthy to carry a crown

In me some value the King has now found

Judge me you might and my failure repeat

Tho I left them all there at his nail scarred feet

Through your eyes still, fault you may find

But to those, his vision now is blind

New failures I'm sure, I'm certain to make

But more grace from his throne I will thankfully take

And if you look at me through  human sight

I'm certain you'll find, more compromise

But when he looks at me with his eyes alone

It's His righteousness, not mine, in glory is shone.