Monday, June 27, 2011

Please Don't Feed the Raccoon

Being an insomniac can be kind of lonely. There is no one up at 3 in the morning to play with, infomercials have proven to be very bad for the budget, and I read until my eyes practically bleed anyway so... What's a girl to do? This weekend I was up watching a spider weave a web outside our bathroom window during my insomniatic spell. I also waited intensely for the raccoon that frequents our bathroom window to appear. Everyone in the family has seen him peering through the window in the wee hours of the night except me. Typical since I'm the only one who would really get a kick out of peering back at him. As I stood there in the early hours of Saturday morning I decided to entice him to the window with a can of cat food. I waited until I was too drowsy to wait any more and went back to bed. First thing Saturday morning I went to see if the can of cat food was still there. It was gone. Saturday night I tried again. Sunday morning, the can was gone. Sunday night my husband came to bed and asked me if I had put cat food out for the raccoon again. "Well, yeah!" I said. He sweetly tried to reason with me that he didn't think it was a good idea to feed the raccoon, to which I vehemently (but sweetly) disagreed. He suggested that if I insisted on feeding the raccoon to at least feed it the dry cat food.... This is my reasoning.... "Dry cat food? What's special about dry cat food? A raccoon gets all the dry cat food it wants in the neighborhood. If I put canned cat food out, our house will be special."...  He just looked at me like Ricky Ricardo used to look at Lucille Ball when she would do something especially hair brained. He sighed, smiled and gave me a kiss goodnight. You just can't win against a insomniac, they have all night long to plot their debate.

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