Therapeutic musings mixed with humorous ramblings and sometimes spiritual notations of life as I know it in written form. A diary of my heart inspired by life.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
The Key Is Change
It's impossible to go to the next level if nothing changes. I've been telling myself that for weeks, maybe months. At this particular moment it perfectly describes almost every area of my life. My work, my friends, the ministry I'm in, my family, my house, my spiritual growth.... everything. In one area I took a drastic step... and just stepped down. I certainly don't want to be accused of hindering change and maybe I just wasn't the person for the job at this moment in time. I didn't "quit" I removed myself for the benefit of everyone involved. Human nature seems to shy away from change. Change is uncomfortable, it brings out all of your insecurities, it makes you doubt yourself and your decisions, it's just a drag. I typically don't struggle with change like some do. I try to look at change as an adventures, not always... but generally. There have been a few changes that have rocked my world, but I try to keep in mind that everything works out for the good. There have been times in my life that I could see no earthly good in what was going on, but God, being true to his word, years down the road, gave me a beautiful glimpse of the big picture and to this day, I mourn every regret I had about that journey. I should have walked that path with a lot more faith than I did. Over the years I've had several relationships that seemed to fade because of change. Those are difficult because you're constantly asking yourself the question... "Was it wrong to go on while others choose to stay behind." How long do you drag an unwilling participant with you before letting go so they can stew in their own issues, while blaming everyone but themselves for the condition of their lives and their relationships? You can't force a person to move from where they are to the place they could be and should be if they would just move on from wallowing in self pity, and play the starring role in "Who's The Biggest Victim." But if you love that person you really just want to scream at them "There's more to life then this", "There's a big picture and although you may be in it, you're not suppose to be the focus!" I tried this approach with a friend recently (you know just for kicks and giggles... Not really, it was out of utter desperation) and let me just say I don't think she appreciated my tough love honesty.. At least I don't think she did since she hasn't spoken to me since. But gosh! I just wanted so much more for her and I know that Christ wants more for her too. Several years ago I was in a group who were determined to grow spiritually so we made kind of a pact that we would continue to move forward and continue to do so even if some of us decided to stay back. Most of that group are still together but some have seen distance come between us because... Well, things just got in the way. Life happens, sometimes you run, sometimes you walk, and sometimes you just wander off. As a friend I keep looking back over my shoulder wondering where they went? What was so interesting that it would take them away from something with earthly blessings and heavenly rewards? My greatest goal in life is to be everything God created me to be in Him. That can be a huge challenge considering who he's working with here. He is merciful, loving and kind and it's a good thing because I know I can be a toot. I can so relate to Paul when he talked about the fleshly struggle of doing the things you knew you shouldn't be doing and not doing the things you knew you should be doing. The battle against one's own desires can be very fatiguing. Anyway, for all who are interested, be it friend or foe, I really want to climb that dang mountain! I want to go to higher heights, see greater distances, and keep my eye focused on the big picture and not just on me. I am so hoping that others decide to come along with me, leave the past behind, lay down our personal baggage so our load won't be so heavy and just move on up.... together. How about you? Did you ever consider the fact that the key to change could be you???