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Friday, May 22, 2015

Crash and Burn in Style

Monday I was having a good hair day which is odd considering all of the rain we've had lately. So, given the high status of my poof,  and the fact there was a low chance of rain , I thought I'd dress up for work and wear my obnoxiously bright Easter dress and since it was monday, which is my super busy day, I paired the dress with my unusually comfy 5 inch elastic heels. My Mondays tend to be a desk day of posting payments, downloading pertinent information into spreadsheets and sending them out to pertinent people. I usually don't have to get up and walk around much on mondays, which makes it the perfect day to wear high heels. The beautiful hardwood floors we have in our office tend to make high heels sound like a Clydesdale practicing her prance so I've  mellowed my shoe attire somewhat so not to disturb the entire office with my prancing practice. I had a pretty good Monday meaning I didn't download impertinent information believing it to be pertinent information only to find the error after clicking the send button sending misinformation to pertinent people. Not that I've ever done that before (cough cough). So, I left the office a few minutes early to drop off a letter at the post office. Leaving a little early insured I could drop it off in the drop box from the comfort of my cute little cube instead of having to go inside the post office. That was the plan. I got into my cute little cube, plugged my phone into my awesome stereo and clicked the country station on Pandora Radio. Sometimes I listen to Dean Martin, sometimes it's Maroon 5, but maybe because all of the rain gave me the blues, or maybe I was feeling feisty, country was my tunes for the trip home. There I am minding my own business, driving with some caution since I had just passed a hi-po as I approached the first intersection coming into town. As luck had it, the light turned green as I was approaching in the right lane. The left lane was full. They had been stopped, but began to inch forward slowly. As I entered the intersection someone decided to make a left turn in front of me on a very red light. As I hit the brakes, I expected them to give it some gas to avoid what was going to be a major collision.  Unfortunately, the driver continued to take her time and even with me punching both feet to the floor there was no way I could miss her. And just like that, my day took a drastic turn for the worst. I've heard of people going into shock, but I never understood it until the airbag exploded, my car filled with smoke and I looked up to see bits and pieces of my car strown from here to yonder. All I could do was shake and cry, shake and cry. Miraculously, the woman I hit, continued up the road a ways before deciding to stop her car. My engine was up close and personal to where I sat in the front seat. The engine was stuck wide open and when i raised my hand to turn the key off I realised my hand had flesh hanging off and my fingers did not work. Thankfully, someone came to my aide, leaning in as I begain to hyperventilate and tremble uncontrollably. At some point I was able to dial my husband and after several panicked attempts, was able to give him my location.  The EMT crew covered my burns as gently as possible and took me to the ambulance for closer assessment. By that time my husband was there and I refused to ride in the ambulance (been there done that, never again). My husband looked at the EMT then suggested I take off my heels to cross the busy highway which by this time was busy with everyone headed home. I looked at him and told him I would not walk across highway 81 in bare feet. If I'm going to crash and burn (and obviously i did), I would do it in my 5 inch heels and the 5 o'clock traffic could jump to whatever conclusions they wished. They usually do in a small town anyway, why not make it interesting for them. So there I was in my eye catching easter dress and 5 inch heels, with the bump in my hair perfectly in place (i asked before leaving the ambulance if my hair was okay), being escorted by super sweet police officers and my dear husband in the middle of rush hour. A familiar voice called out across the street making sure I was okay. It was a friend's husband. On the way to the hospital I asked my husband to stop by the post office so I could drop the letter off. He looked at me kind of strangely and asked... "Right now, before we go to the hospital?" To which I said "Yes, it's for work. It has to go out today." Without saying a word he drove to the mailbox, popped it in the slot then off we went to the hospital.  The story isn't over but the moral to this half is, if you're going to crash and burn, at least do it in style.... And, never give up on your goal, even if you get a little side tracked. 

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