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Monday, September 8, 2014

That Changes Everything

It took me forever to get ready this morning.  I took extra care getting my eye shadow applied just right. I coiffed my hair bump to beauty pageant height. I did my nails the night before making sure they coordinated with the shirt I had picked out.  I checked myself out, twirling twice in the mirror, took a deep breath and stepped out of my girl cave and into our bedroom.  My husband looked up and as if on cue said... "You look really pretty!"  I cocked my head and questioned him... "Do I look like a grandma?"  In my mind I was chanting... "Dear God, please say no, please say no."  In a nanno second flash, his right eyebrow shot up, he gave me a genuinely naughty smile and said...  "No!  I assure you, you don't look like a grandma."  Then he wrapped me in a sweet hug.  Cha-ching!  He just made a huge deposit into his "love account".

Today was the baby shower for my grand baby, little PitterPatter who has yet to be named. I am told a name will not be given until it has been divinely revealed to the parents, and not a minute before.  This is when I worry about things like... "God's timing isn't always our timing." and silly little things only the faithless sweat over... I can hear my son, the ever carefree lad that he is, assuring me... "It will be right as rain mom, right as rain."  When I look into his smiling eyes just seconds before I feel a meltdown coming on, I can believe it will be right as rain, but I'd feel SO much better if he simply chose one of the stunning combination of names I've sent him for weeks on end.  He doesn't like pressure and he hates to conform, so then I worry that my suggestions pushed him to the edge of a cliff leaving my grand baby with no name.... "Oh Holy Spirit, please speak now."  There will be nothing conventional about this birth, just as there has been nothing conventional about my son (which is one of his most endearing qualities), but is also a big hurdle for an event planner (EVENT PLANNER, not control freak... Event Planner), like myself. The lack of wedding planning almost sent me over the edge simply because I didn't have anything to stress over because we were just supposed to show up and things would magically happen like a herd of fairy godmothers showed up, sprinkled pixie dust and waa-laa, behold a magical wedding at the foothills of Colorado done with absolute perfection and perfectly them in every way.  That is how these two love birds roll. With all that I am, I'm doing my best to "go with the flow", to be a "I'm totally down with that", natural born, low maintenance, tree hugging, laid back Lolli prepared to adhere to all the written in stone boundaries like "no dangling my grandchild by his ankles over a balcony" or "spiking his pumped breast milk with high fructose syrup." As if I would do any of those things in the first place! The list goes on (I'm sure), but those are the high points. Today's parenting is a new frontier.  The new generation of parents believe in the age old theory that one generation gleans from the mistakes of the previous generation, tosses them into the recycle bin, creating a parenting revolution so far above the standards of generations past, that all of our sage advice and hands-on experience is nothing but filthy rags like the pointless righteousness of the Pharisees. This will be like teaching a old dog new tricks (I would be the old dog in this analogy). Grandparenting by gut instinct will not be enough.  This child will be raised by a new generation (which is a good thing because I'm really tired).  I'm not the one in charge (Thank you Jesus), and that changes everything.

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