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Monday, March 17, 2014

Party on My Friend

We celebrated the 50th birthday of a friend this weekend. I wrote to her about the joys of turning 50... Maybe I was a little too honest, but I wanted her expectations to be fully hinged to reality because we all know it's never good when a woman becomes unhinged (Can I hear an amen?).

Debbie,
50 years….. That’s only 18,250 days, or a mere 428,000 hours. When you look at it that way, it doesn’t seem nearly as bad (NOT). Remember, “50 is the new 30”, WHATEVER! That’s a load of crap too, but once you’re there you’ll reach out and embrace anything that helps you feel better about saying the “F” word. Turning 50 wouldn’t suck, if every time you turned around there wasn’t a reminder of just how different things are. I hate it when I go to a doctor and they look like a pre-pubescent 13 year old. I always have the urge to have them show me their driver’s license before they touch me. What the heck!? Last time we got a new engineer, someone mentioned “James Taylor” during a meeting and the new kid didn’t know who “James Taylor” was…. Now that’s some poor parenting, I’ll tell you. Yes, I would love to tell you that turning 50 is all the rage, but it’s not. Don’t be surprised if elastic is your new best friend; if it is, rejoice because although you may love it around your waist, the elasticity in the skin becomes a sparse perk.  If you’ve never had much of a green thumb, since turning 50 you may find you can now grow inch long black hairs on your chin, seemingly over night. It’s wrong, it is all so wrong. The best thing about turning 50 though, is looking around and seeing all of the beautiful friendships you’ve invested in over the years. Trivial stuff like the color of your hair, or the numbers on the scales may fluctuate, but the one constant making the bad stuff less scary and the good stuff much better, is the eternal relationships you’ve made. We’re all in this thing together and like they say (whoever they are) it’s not over until the fat lady sings and I’ve noticed that she wasn’t invited to your party, so we’re good! Party on my friend, party on.

P.S. When I proof read this I noticed the font was a little small and the color a little light so I increased the font and made it bold cause at 50 everything is better when it’s bigger and bolder… Wouldn’t you agree?
Love Jac

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