Needless to say, and I am in no way seeking sympathy, but the last couple of months have been a difficult journey and a priceless treasure. Tonight after months of pain, and weeks of severe suffering, my Mother was ushered into the arms of her heavenly Father. I will forever remember her childlike smile of the last few weeks, our silly humor at Daddy's expense and the laughter we shared. Those memories far out weigh the burden of watching her slowly suffer as she slipped from her earthly home to her heavenly mansion. My sadness is only that we will have no more of those priceless moments, just the instant replay that will forever be in my heart. As a daughter, there is no greater joy than to comfort and care for the one who gave me life at the end of her life. For those who have not had the experience, let me say there is nothing quite like it. I am at peace as I know whom she believed and have total confidence that her life is just beginning to blossom. Like most Mothers and daughters we had our moments of intense fellowship and more come to Jesus meetings than I care to dwell on. Forever the Mother, there were times when I felt I couldn't live up to her expectations and at times I know I failed her miserably. Somehow I knew she would settle those scores in her final goodbye. Last night as I lay in her room wide eyed and bushy tailed I thought to myself.... "She isn't going to let you see her pass." I'll admit that I have always envied those who told stories of their loved ones passing while giving vivid descriptions of what lie on the other side. Some how I knew that Mom would wait until I walked out of the room and slip away behind my back in a final "gotcha" moment. A daughter knows her Mother, and true to form, I turned my back for a moment and she took the opportunity to slip away just out of my eye sight. She always did have to have the last word and in her passing she made no exception and honestly I wouldn't expect her to. She did forget one little seemingly minuscule fact, and that's that I have a blog and she doesn't! Whose your Momma now? You ask how I could use humor at such a reverent time? Because I'm my Mother's daughter and she is the one who gave me the ornery streak that's a mile wide. She also gave me a firm foundation of faith and the a strong assurance that life is but a vapor.... Oh and taught me to never miss the chance to get the last word in. Love you forever Mom and I'll meet you on the other side.
Wonderful reflections! I hope your Mom got to hear them in Heaven. I'm sure she would smile. God bless you all and comfort you.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog Jackie, but this one was very sweet and special. I haven't experienced what you have just gone through, but I did watch my mother and her sisters take your same journey with my grandma just a few years ago. Like your mom, grandma was definately a spitfire and always had the last word-always! When alzheimer's flung her back to childhood, although much different in many ways, still some small glimmers of her spirited nature pierced through from time to time. Sometimes it felt like she was trapped inside a time warp within her own mind/body and had found a window to peek through right out her own eyes. Her's was a long and exhausting journey, for both her caregivers and her, but as you said, one that we all cherish as precious time spent during the final leg of her journey in life. I'm very sorry for your loss, and understand it's really more of the loss of their companionship that we grieve for, yet rejoice in their final reward, home. I think it's admirable that your able to pull some of your mothers spirit and humor to reflect on her passing, what better way to honor her. Your blog just reminded me of time w/my grandma and I was blessed by your outlook, wanted to let you know. Prayers for continued peace.
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