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Monday, April 22, 2013

All the King's Horses and All the King's Men

Hey, it could happen to anyone... But it doesn't, it happens to me. This phrase should be tattooed on my head as a warning to anyone who dare trust me with anything.
Friday morning I received an email from a co-worker who was scheduled to be out of the office that day. The email said her daughter had ordered her a floral arrangement and had it delivered to the office. She asked if I or the other girl up front saw it delivered, if we'd please see that it had water and take good care of it until Monday. Later Friday morning the florist delivered the flowers to my office. As you can see in the picture provided, it was a beautiful arrangement. Being a diligent soul, I ran to the kitchen for a cup of water. When I watered the plant, water began spilling out and over onto my desk. Oops, must have watered a little too much. I picked the plant up and took it to the kitchen where I poured, not too much, but not too little water out of it. Satisfied I had accomplished the task in a satisfactory manner, I headed back to my office to take a picture (living proof) that the arrangement had arrived at my office and left for her office in one piece. I turned from the sink and took one step which landed in a drop of water that fell on the floor then everything happened at once. The plant went sailing up into the air like a bouquet at a wedding as one of my legs flew up and out like a ice skater at  beginning of a
spin, while the other knee twisted into odd angles. The upper half of my body lunged toward the plant as I tried to catch it before it fell to the floor. The plant and I landed with a resounding thud at the time.  The bud of a Lily that had yet bloomed bounced in one direction, a couple of leaves scattered like fall foliage  and a few of the things they had put in as filler lay in the hall.  Yes, the hall was filled with floral carnage and I lay frozen staring in udder disbelief. I COULD-NOT-BELIEVE-MY-EYES!!!! I stared at the mangled mess wanting badly just to cry!   I gathered the amputated buds, leaves and filler and took them into my co-bosses office to tell him that I literally could not be trusted with ANYTHING. It's simply amazing my children all made it to adulthood with me as a parent. They probably would have been better off being raised by apes. He listened to my sob story as he covered his mouth with his hand. I'm certain he wasn't holding back a cough. Other shameless people stood in the doorway grinning like a Cheshire cat until I cut them the evil eye causing them to duck back to where they belonged. He got up from his desk, asked if I was hurt, then took the plant gently from my shaking hands, assuring me super glue or tape would not be necessary. "She'll never know the difference, it looks fine, just throw those away." He said about the missing parts I held in my hand. He carefully delivered the flowers, newly arranged as they were, to the her office. He said snapping a picture as "Proof of Life" would be a wise decision, so I did also capturing one of the amputee's as well. Later as I relayed the calamity to a co-worker, telling her how absolutely horrible I felt because this was a special arrangement for a special occasion and I felt horrible, horrible horrible!!! she said.... "Don't beat yourself up over it, it could happen to anyone. If it had to happen, be thankful it was her, she is the most forgiving and least judgmental person I know." She was right, the recipient does hold almost super-hero status in my eyes (Great mom, great grandma, superb cook, all around creative Martha Stewart-ish, freaky intelligent and extremely beautiful). Pretty much everything I want to be when I grow up.  I checked on the plant first thing this morning. I was fully prepared
to snatch it from her desk before she arrived and transport it immediately to the nearest florist to administer CPR if it hadn't survived the weekend. Luckily it seems to have recovered from it's trauma. "All the kings horses and all the kings men" seemed like an appropriate summation when I left the office Friday evening. But now it may be a "Let sleeping dogs lie" kind of day.

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