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Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Christmas Tree Snob

She did a great job! I approve

It's so true that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. At least that's the case with me and my daughter. Ever since I've been married, a Christmas tree is a big honkin ordeal for me. I like my gifts to be wrapped in coordinating colors, no tacky Santa Clause paper. I insist on white lights only and have a tendency to mutter unkind things under my breath when I see multi-colored lights that twinkle (see I can already tell you are judging me). So, your probably thinking that when I had children I totally turned my tree into a memorial to them..... WRONG! And here is just another reason (out of many) for why I will never be awarded a National Mother of the Year Award. There was a tiny streak in me that wanted to put the reindeer made out of pantyhose on the tree and the little ornaments made out of play dough on it, but when it actually came time to do it, I just couldn't bring myself to. I know!!! How twisted is that? I'm just very territorial about the tree. Now you probably think I'm the worst Mom in the world but I'm not...(there is that refrigerator Mom).I'm not a bad Mom! I may be a Christmas tree snob but I'm not a terrible Mother. I bought my kids their own 3 ft trees and allowed them to decorate them any way they wanted. One year my son hung GI Joe's all over his. It was kind of sadistic though because he tied fishing line around their necks then looped it over the limb so it looked a little like he was literally hanging GI Joe. My daughter is grown and has an apartment of her own which means she has her very own adult Christmas tree. When she was home a few weeks ago she bought ornaments for the tree and was excited for Thanksgiving to be over so her and her boyfriend could put the tree up. She called me the other night and said they had gotten the tree up and he had helped her get the lights on and then (gasp) proceeded to begin decorating it. She said "I told him, oh no,no, no! All I needed you to do was to help me get the lights on. I'll do the rest all by myself." I think he was a little hurt that he didn't get to help with the rest of it, but she explained how she was never allowed to decorate the tree as a child and now she was going to do it in her own very OCD way. I laughed and laughed when she told me. I knew all this time that my Christmas tree fetish would one day end with my kids laying on the couch of a therapist. But like I've always told them, just file this in your book so when you have to go to therapy when your 30 you'll have enough Momma burned the bisque stories.... Cause if you don't, they will certainly think you are crazy.

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