Crossing The Line

You know it's never as much fun coming back from vacation as it is going on vacation. Regardless of whether you are flying or driving the trip home just seems to take longer and isn't nearly as enjoyable as when you are looking forward to fun and adventure. Coming home from California was no exception. I would have loved to stay another few days with my toes sank deep in the sand on Coronodo Island and watching the birds dive for fish. But all good things must come to an end so the 8 of us headed to the airport after a fabulous breakfast and began the annoying process of checking in and going through security. There was a lady in front of me that took about 10 minutes and 7 trays to put all of her crap in so it could be scanned. She kept looking back at us like we were trying to rush her and I promise we were not. It just seemed that she was a little high strung and I personally wanted to keep my distance in case she came unwound. My husband and I took our shoes off, placed them in the trays and all that blah, blah, blah stuff you have to do to get on a plane these days and began to walk through the medal detectors. Of course my husband, who has 2 artificial hips set off all of the bells and whistles to which we are completely familiar with. As they pulled him aside I went on to retrieve the stuff from our trays but "Miss Tightly Wound and Over Packed" was in the way and holding up the whole line. Not only did I need to get my stuff I was trying to catch my husband's stuff since he was being delayed. So I'm trying to grab everything without running over "Miss Tightly Wound and Over Packed" and instead decided to step around her to the other side of the conveyor belt. Just as I reached for my husband's shoes a security guard (who looked like he was about 20 years old) stepped beside me and began reaching for my arm and my oldest son was right behind him saying "Mom... It's ok, I'll get Dad's stuff". The security guard grabs my arm and says "Ma'am, you can't do that", to which I just turn and smile at him, and kind of laugh completely not getting the concept that he was dead serious. I mean if I recall correctly he actually had his hand on his holster and the other hand on my elbow and I was still a little confused as to what the heck was going on. As I "stepped away from the line" he says to me.... "You just can't do that, you just can't cross the line like that, It's like jumping over the counter at 7 Eleven.... You just don't do that." He was so serious and I was totally amused at what all the fuss was about. Seriously, did I look like a threat with my blankie and hot pink snake skin purse? I can certainly give Mr. TSA credit, he was on high alert that day, but in my opinion he should have been less concerned about this ditzy blond trying to grab her husband's shoes and more concerned about "Miss Tightly Wound and Over Packed"... I mean she actually did look like a threat. The problem was, she may have looked just a tad psycho and may have held up the line, but she didn't actually cross the line and I did (welcome to my world!). Not only was it my good fortune to cause a ruckus at the airport, but it was also my good fortune to be seated right next to "Miss Tightly Wound and Over Packed"... And that was a FABULOUS experience. She fidgeted and dug through her multiple cases and bags till I came very close to offering her a little something to help her relax... But I had already crossed enough lines for one day.... why push my luck.