As if they Never Were

Life has a way of weaving people in and out of our lives.  Life is in constant motion bringing us to different paths throughout the journey. The ebb and flow will bring us in contact with many people.  Sometimes our paths parallel with others for a time....  Sometimes forever. But often, our paths come together, than slowly take different directions, when sadly we no longer walk side by side. When that happens to me, I find myself saying.... "It is as if they were never a part of my life." But closer reflection reveals the tapestry life weaves. I see small highlights along the path we walked together. There will be a pop of color here, a highlight there, and beautiful hues in areas where they impacted my life the most.... Always with a color that is uniquely their own. When paths began to seperate, it is hard for the heart to accept. Whether our journey takes us far away, never to return, or whether our paths diverge again, they will leave behind tangible beauty in vibrant colors marking our time together.... Regardless of the amount of time I've had with them, they have added depth, color, and texture that only the human touch can bring. Their threads along with threads of others, will weave "The Big Picture" represented in living color. Don't mourn the loss of a relationship that takes a different path; rather celebrate the part they played in your life and the joy you experienced while you walked side by side living the journey together. Count your blessings at the creative beauty each one leave behind, and the memories you captured from time well spent. My life has been changed forever by these sojourn companions..... Their mark remains forever on my heart in a way it wouldn't  if they never were.

"Things Need to Change"

Life is a constant motion of change. You can love it or hate it, embrace it or run from it, but you cannot escape life changes. You may wake up one morning to find the sun shines a little less bright, the clouds hang seem a bit lower, and the breeze has a tad of a chill in it. Life is changing. When you don't feel the courage to change with it, just put one foot in front of the other. Soon you will find yourself walking from the past into the changing future. When you get there, don't get comfortable because like it or not, things will soon change.....  "Things need to change." And life goes on. Even when it seems like you can't possibly make the change, you'll go with it. Change isn't the end, it's the beginning of something new.

Sanctuary

Shadows fall between the time when night turns into day. As moon beams fade and dreams dissolve leaving empty space. The recessed walls surround the place where memories are hidden. A sanctuary of the heart, the entrance forbidden. Cloaked in shadows, pierced with pain, beneath a sky of blue. Frozen clips provide a sacred glimpse of me and you. Fragments filter like grains of sand, held in capsuled time... Tumble through the chambered halls of a heart once known as mine. Each grain of sand, each teardrop shed, is filled with something sweet. Moments spent in careless fog that flood the whole of me. When daylight dawns as daylight does, and lifts the sleepy veil. All that's left behind the mind are scars that tell a tender tale.

A Compartment of the Heart That Has No Words

Something flashed across my path today. Nothing huge, earth shattering or monumental... Except to me. The funny thing about it is, it wasn't even a big deal, but behind it lay a big deal, therefore it drudged up all of the fears, insecurities, and gaping open wounds that I thought were long forgotten, put to rest and tucked away. My first instinct was to write a dark and ominous poem that alludes to nothing, yet describes everything in crystal clear darkness of the pain left throbbing in the past. But I didn't have the words for poetry, the energy to describe the pain, or the ability to analyze it over and over in my head, yet again. And that's what scares me. I have no problem putting

voice to my joys, sorrows and longings. So when something is too deep, too tender to express, and the memories so tender that words cannot even scratch the surface, it scares me. Only a handful of times in my life has something occurred that was so unexpected, so painful, I couldn't fully express it with words, phrases, emotions, pictures or through prayer. Yet deep inside, a part of me continues to search for that which cannot be explained, understand actions taken with no meaning, and explanations without the duty of revealing the whole truth.
Meaningful relationships are complicated, friendships are fragile. People, places and things which have the ability to complete us when they are in perfect harmony, also have the ability to devestate us on all levels, intellectually, spiritually, emotionally and deeply personally. It may not be in God's perfect plan that anything outside of Him have that much power over us, yet it absolutely is the truth, or at times

seems to be. I sent out a quick text today simply stating the issue in one short sentence, then ending with.... "And that's all I have to say about that." Because I can't begin the process of digging when I know it will unearth all of those questions again, yet reveal no answers. That's when I truly understand the depth of the wound, the healing that has yet to take place, and must face the fact that things may never have been as they appeared, know it may never be resolved, and accept that the pain will  ever be diluted to the point  I can put it into words. Having no words, is the scariest part of all, because that leaves me nothing... Well, nothing to say and for me that's a scary place to be. I have a special heart compartment for the few things failed by words. They are the secrets of my heart surrounded by the mystery of the complexities of life, stairways that have no destination, tunnels

with no light, paths with moss covered stones and windows with no glass. I keep the compartment under lock and key, alude to it every now and again until a language that surpasses the limitations of earth are passed. At that time the key will unlock a part of my story that has never been told. Until then, I have no words.