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Thursday, February 9, 2012

Women Tools for Men

I admit it! I've got an ornery streak about a mile wide. I had been corresponding with my golfing partner at work, about an unresolved issue. Clearly neither of us thought the other was doing things as they should be done and I'm pretty sure neither of us are the type to take things lightly... Well, except for a good joke. I wasn't quite sure he had the tools he needed to communicate effectively with a woman, so I thought I'd help him out on that matter. When he came to the Tuesday yard meeting he had a brightly wrapped gift waiting for him. The guys from the office told him it was from me and encouraged him to open it. He refused. Apparently, he's had a bad experience with gifts others have given him in the past and he wasn't convinced they were telling the truth about the source of the gift. I got a text from one of the engineers that said... "You should call or text Cecil that he has to open his present now." Okay, just for the record, if someone hands me a brightly colored gift, I'll have that thing ripped open in 2.3 milliseconds. No one has to tell me twice to open a gift. Heck, if you're being slow, I'll open your gift for you (just a warning). Is this a man thing?! So I sent him a text telling him to open the gift I got him. A few minutes later I got another text from the engineer that said "He skill won't open it." I know, spelling isn't a pre-requisite for getting an engineering degree at OU, but I let it slide and assumed he meant that Cecil still wouldn't open his gift. So I sent Cecil yet another text that was a little more pleading, if not somewhat threatening.... "CECIL! You are being rude (insert angry face here) and you're hurting my feelers (insert crying face here). I'm not sure what type of abuse they have been subjecting him to during the meeting, but he still was not convinced the gift was from me, or that I was the one texting him. So, my phone rings.... "Jackie is that really you?" I assured him it was really me, and the gift was really from me and that it would not bite or otherwise injure him. He agreed to open the gift and we hung up. Inside the brightly colored box was a pink tool kit with instructions...

There was a pink floral hammer...

For when you want to really drive your point home

A pink floral box knife....

For when you just need to cut through the crap


A delicate little tape measure...

If you insist on digging yourself a hole, you can measure how deep it is before you jump in

Word has it, he got a big kick out of his tool kit. In fact he made the comment (or is it a compliment)....

"Jackie is very intelligent... for a woman."

Yea, I'll be adding a few more tools to that box.... To be continued.....

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