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Monday, September 12, 2011

I Feel Pretty

She feels prettier than she looks

What do you get when you mix several months of 100+ weather, narry a drop of rain (not a real word but if Kate Gosselin can make up words than so can I), 175lb English Mastiff who likes to waller (yep, another made up word) a 60lb English Bulldog (much like one does a rubber ball) around the dirt in Oklahoma?? You guessed it, A Red Dirt Bulldog. When I got Riley, She had a perfect Mickey Mouse fawn outline on her white background. I nixed all Disney names and went with "Oh Riley!" because she tended to be a handful. That was a smart choice because as she has grown (out, not up) her little Mickey Mouse outline looks more like a Hydrocephalic Mickey Mouse. It reminds me what probably happens when a 20 year old girl who is a size 0 decides to get a sunburst tatoo surrounding her navel.... Three
kids and several pant sizes later, it probably doesn't resemble anything akin to a sunburst (not speaking from personal experience here).  Last night was bath time and she was one red dirt mess. After towel drying her off, she zipped around the house at warp speed snorting like a rabid pig. My husband remarked that she sure was wound up! He doesn't speak Bulldog so I had to interpret... "Nope, she's just singing I Feel Pretty." "I feel pretty, Oh so pretty" Oh, wouldn't it be nice if every woman's body image could be cured by the simple act of taking a bubble bath.

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