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Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I'm Good, He Has My Back!


I'm not sure if it's my imagination... but the weirdest things seem to happen to me. Maybe weird things don't happen, maybe I just exaggerate things that happen to everyone else so it ends up sounding strange, or maybe my mind just bends the normal a little so my view is always somewhat different. Yea, I'm going with selection number 3.... my mind tends to bend things. Regardless, this morning I wake up to a typical morning after a typical sleepless night. I mosey to the living room to read my book (House Rules by Jodi Picoult). I'm having a hard time putting this book down so on my sleepless nights I reach over in the dark and fire up the blackberry kindle.... which, by the way, I LOVE!!!!  When I finally decide to get up, I head upstairs to start my morning ritual. While brushing my teeth my tongue feels... well, it feels kind of hard on one side. I just figured that I was tense during the night and probably clinched my jaw causing my tongue to, I don't know... be sore. Before I head out to work I mention to my husband that my tongue is a little swollen and that I figured it was probably something he should be blamed for. When I get to work I fix a cup of oatmeal and open up my email but you know.... my tongue is kind of getting in the way of things. So I pull out a mirror and sure enough, it is a lot bigger than it was when I got up. I decided I'm probably overreacting to a strange tongue muscle (can you even imagine how I would go about getting that type of injury).  A co-worker talks to me about the hail storm last night and even though I'm trying to listen I am really concentrating on the fact that it feels like my tongue is a balloon being filled with helium..... SERIOUSLY!!! I explain my problem to my co-worker who offers me a Benedryl because by now I am having a hard time forming my words. I give the Benedryl about 15 min. to work and decide maybe I'll run to the Urgent Med. Clinic just to have it checked out. All the way to the clinic I attempt to talk myself out of going because it just seems ridiculous to go to the dr. for a swollen tongue.... it just sounds..... weird. Totally out of keeping with my usual luck I hardly have to time sit down before the nurse, who I just happen to know, calls me back. I attempt to explain the problem with my best Elmer Fud impression but really it's a mute point because by this time she can clearly see that there is hardly enough room in my mouth for my tongue. Forming words is nearly impossible!!! When the Dr. comes in she questions me about how long I've been taking a particular medication and I tell her a couple of months. She says... "Well I am going to need you to hop onto the table so we can start an IV and get some medications in you because you have developed an allergic reaction to your medication." She gives me a list of stuff they will use to attempt to bring the swelling down and leaves the nurse to start the IV. I call my husband to tell him what's going on when the nurse takes the phone from me and tells him he is going to need to drive me home, because apparently it's going to feel like Happy Hour at 9:30 in the morning.... Hey! It's 5 o'clock somewhere. So my husband comes, they pump medicine, check the tongue.... maybe a little better but still really bad. The dr. tells the nurse to give me the adrenaline shot which I was really hoping went in my IV, but no luck. The best way to describe it is she sucker punched my thigh without pulling my dress up (went right through the material) and then kind of held the needle in there while applying as much pressure as possible. She practically knocked me off the table with the punch and the dr. had the nerve to ask if it hurt. What the heck? Yeah! I'll have a bruise for a year. Still, after that no change. They leave the door open so I can knock the metal tray off to get their attention in case I have trouble breathing. I hear the nurse ask the dr. if she can take out the IV since it is empty. You know, I find it's never comforting to hear the dr. say about you "No, don't remove the IV because she is nowhere near out of the woods yet." Now I am officially glad I came to the clinic. You have got to be kidding me, right?!? I have never been a country girl, never wanted to be a country girl and love high heels way more than I like fresh air!!! Who the heck put me in the woods and how do I get out?!? I thought I got all the crappy stuff out of the way after the fall in January. I thought my year was suppose to get better. Geeze!!! I want to know who is arranging my schedule of bad stuff so I can choke them to death! They push more meds, tongue stays the same and the dr. grapples with the decision to send me home or send me to the hospital. Personally I'm voting home. Finally she gets in touch with my regular dr. He wants to see me this afternoon. When I see him he wants to know if I ever get tired of satan trying to wipe me out? Well, at least it makes things interesting. What I really enjoy is feeling that regardless of how crappy satan tries to make things, I don't belong to him so he doesn't have the last say in how things go..... So, I'm good because I know who has my back!

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