Last But Certainly Not Least

Today is my baby's 19th birthday.  One thing I've learned about parenting is, it's like creating a recipe from scratch. I have no patience with measuring and counting in the kitchen, so a lot of my homemade recipes have no recipe at all and a lot of times I come out with a different dish then I started out to create.... But it's all good. I swear, if you had 19 kids, parented in the same home by the same parents they would each one be uniquely different.  They may have similar traits, shared memories and be given the same moral values, but like a fingerprint, each one would be completely different in design and that has certainly been true for my three. My youngest was a dream to raise. His easy going manner and amazing self discipline earned him the coveted "you never spank him" award.  Of course, due to the age difference between the first two, he was more like an only child so he missed out on the sibling bickering and fighting. In hindsight, because he was so easy, I see that he probably didn't keep me on my toes enough. He never pushed boundaries, didn't sass and was truly the quiet one. Each one of my kids have qualities I wish I had more of. My oldest is tenaciously independent, my middle child is amazingly resourceful and positive and the baby is meticulously organized and dependable. Though he may have been the last, he is by no means the least, in spirit or the amount of joy he bring to our lives. Happy Birthday Caby Baby, I love you more than you could possibly know.

Squirt-N-Run

When I was a little (teenie tiny) girl, I remember the way our pastor's wife smelled. When she hugged me, it was like soft waves of sunshine to my nose. When I walked into her house, it smelled just like she did. Nobody smelled as good as Sister Brown. The other day my Mom mentioned Sister Brown and I went into my Sister Brown always smelled so good rave. I think Sister Brown is the reason I'm so dang picky about my perfume. The sense of smell can bring back all types of memories, for instance.... The smell of the first day of school!!! Every time I took my kids to school the first day, the minute the smell of freshly buffed floors hit my nose it was like a blast from the past. There I'd be, standing in the hallway, reliving every first day of school I ever had all because of a smell. So.... IMHO, how I smell is a big freakin deal. Not only to me, but to the people I'm around, who wants to be around someone who smells like a french hooker all the time. Not me, that's for sure. Even if I don't like who I am, I need to love how I smell and so the hunt has begun. I've been married 32 years in December and in those 32 years I have only worn 2 perfumes on a regular basis. My favorite is no longer available and now I'm being forced to find a new... "Jackie Smell". I'm not one who usually dreads change, but this change I am not happy about. I can't just squirt-n-run on something as important as this, I have to squirt and wait to see if I make myself sick or if (like my last perfume) I want to sit and lick myself. Today I sprayed some Versace Yellow Diamond and I'm waiting to see if I have the urge to purge or lick. That will be the deciding factor, purge or lick. Right now I'm leaning toward the licking stage, but the day is still young. I'll let you know how it goes.

Miss Pris the City Slicker and Country Cuz

A BLAST FROM THE PAST


I was online the other day when an instant message popped up asking how my folks were doing. It took me a second to realize it was from a cousin I hadn't heard from in.... Oh, 35 years or so. I was like....

Me
"OMGosh, how long has it been since we've seen each other??"

Long Lost Cuz
"Last time I remember...is when you told on me for peeing in yalls yard in tulsa...lol" 

Oops. . . I didn't think he was serious. . . at first, so I asked 

Me
"seriously?!? I don't remember that at all. Were you doing it off the back porch or something?"

Long Lost Cuz
"No...I was a country boy and at home if you had to go you went...it was in the corner of y'all s yard"

I was mortified at my snobbish behavior (even though I didn't remember....

Me
"Well let me apologize for my uptight self righteous behavior.... Trust me, I have relaxed my standards ALOT since then... I'm very laid back and non-judgmental about whipping it out whenever you need to go. I was probably just jealous that girls don't have that kind of convenience. LOL, That is so freakin funny. Do you remember when you swallowed a penny in church or when your family left you and didn't know it? I think it happened more than once.... There were so many of you, it was like herding kittens. You fell in the shadows because of the ruckus the older three caused. Not a quiet bunch to be around, but something interesting (if not scary) always seemed to happen. 

Long Lost Cuz
"Oh and blog away!"

And suddenly I was bombarded by a slew of childhood memories I hadn't thought of in YEARS!

Me
"Do you remember when we were little and would all be at grandma's waiting for Santa to come (which was usually my dad) The aunts would get mad at the cousins because we were making too much noise and although they said we were "Making Grandma nervous" it was really my mom that couldn't take the commotion, so they would put us in grandpa's room which was maybe a 5x5 room with the sliding accordion plastic door (there were probably 10-15 kids in there) and they would give us a thimble and tell us to play hide the thimble until it was time for Santa and to be sure to do it quietly.... That is one of the funniest childhood memory of all. It was like packing the room full of wild boars and expecting them to meditate."

Long Lost Cuz
"I don't remember"

Oh poor thing, I didn't tell him, but I'm almost certain he has unconsciously blocked some of these memories out.

Me
"So, so funny. I remember coming to your house to ice skate on the pond and picking up pecans. Do you remember when your sister ran into the electric wire in the back yard. I couldn't believe my eyes. She just took off and ran right into it like she was on a Kamikaze suicide mission."

She had a huge red whelp all across her chest. The weird thing was. . . . She KNEW it was there. I tended to run just a little behind the pack (just to be safe), because you just couldn't predict when something was going to go terribly askew and I was the biggest chicken in the world. And the rules. . . I lived by rules and when I went to their house, there were no rules. Each to his/her own, survival of the fittest.

After a while I think I overloaded him on memory lane and we said our goodbyes, but it was so funny thinking about how different our family lives were. I was always dressed like a City Slicker Miss Pris in my puffy dresses, white laced socks and black patent shoes that cut the circulation off of my pudgy little cave baby feet until the tender skin puffed up between the ankle straps (My fashion hasn't changed much). We were always required to use our "inside" voices and NEVER allowed to call anyone stupid (that was a biggie). I was always expected to act ladylike (which wasn't a bad thing, but can be a little inhibiting) and I would never end up on the winning end if I decided to argue or back talk my parents. Oh the stories I could tell, and that's just the ones I remember after certain brain cells have been permanently rerouted to the table of the Mad Hatter. Where, not surprisingly much of my family would totally fit in (not in a disparaging way). It was so good to chat with him and to hear he seems to be happy and doing well. He suggested a family reunion, to which I sweetly declined. I've gotten to the point I can actually cut back on my therapy sessions, I don't see the need to fix something that isn't broken.

A New Twist to Being Out of The Loop

 I don't know why, but I've always been a tie nerd.  I grew up in a era where men wore ties and cuff links to church. Even though he rarely wears them, I love shopping for ties for my husband.  I love the colors and patterns of ties and how the manliest man can rock a paisley pattern without denting his manhood.  Yes sirree, I love ties. I was putting away groceries this weekend when I heard the screen door slam and squealed with surprise and then delight to see my

youngest little robin dropping back in the nest all dressed up for the wedding of a friend. What a wonderful surprise. He looked so adorable in his spiffy dress shirt, slacks and tie.  He's just such a cutie!!! At first glance, I thought his knot had been bungled and immediately started to straighten it up, but upon closer inspection, the

bungled tie was purposefully woven into what I'm told is a trendy new knot. . . Well, new to me.  Although cute as a bug as he is, I just couldn't take my eyes off his knot and of course had to google images of my fascination as soon as he left.  These pretty little knots puts a whole new twist to me being totally out of the loop on ties (and possibly (POSSIBLY) other things). Who knew?

Wanna learn how??
http://www.blacklapel.com/thecompass/ask-a-black-lapel-stylist-how-do-you-tie-a-trinity-knot/

http://www.neatorama.com/2013/02/25/Three-Exotic-Necktie-Knots-to-Try-The-Eldredge-Knot-The-Trinity-Knot-and-The-Cape-Knot/#!kul1m

When Did Conversation Become a Competitive Sport?

While listening to the news the other night, there was a segment on civility in America. I didn't pay much attention to it at the time because I was busy multitasking by seeing how quickly I could use up five lives on Candy Crush. I've spent most of this week television free. I've watched little news and only a couple of shows. Mainly I've read and enjoyed the silence of just being. Having had a few days of silence, I've began to think back on the snippets of the news segment. I'm not sure, since I wasn't paying attention, but some of the issue ensued due to comments made on social media about the new Miss America who is of Indian decent. As soon as she was crowned, people took to social media to say both positive and negative things about her. Unfortunately, the negative comments made it more of a news story than it really was. Social media has changed the way we communicate with others. People are completely at ease with saying any disparaging thing they please from their twitter account. Civility doesn't seem to be a consideration as they tweet their opinions. Not only has social media changed the way we converse, I think the "newsbate" forum of cable news has also changed our communication style. . .  And not for the better. I've had to turn the television off from pure irritation of pundits talking over each other. When 4 or 5 people are debating their point of views, at the same time, each talking a little louder than the other, it's hard to glean anything from the information they are trying to expand upon. This type of conversing has leached into our everyday conversation. Sometime I feel like conversation is now a competitive sport, and sister you better be on your game or you won't get a word in edgewise. I'm not a competitive person, but sometimes I do have an opinion (Right! imagine that), and astonishingly I'd like to be able to express my opinion without being talked over, under and around. I've come to the realization that I'll need to be a gold medal conversational Olympian in order to have a conversation in the latest trending style.  Or. . .  or, I can just have a conversation with me, myself and I, on my blog where I'm always right. Yes, that is the answer to the question I have posed to myself. Blogging is less exhausting than attempting to get a word in edgewise and I can have the exclusive opinion that I am always right, just like Nancy Grace does. Ohhh, that's just ugly on so many levels I can't count them right now. I'm kind of feeling like I want to talk over myself, which I'm totally allowed to do. . . On my blog.

Over the Moon for Under the Sea Whale of a Baby Shower

I had the pleasure of being a hostess for a baby shower of "One of my kids" this weekend. One of my friends boys, is all grown up, married and expecting their first baby. When one of "The Girlfriends" have a grand baby, I get as excited as I expect I will when I have a grand baby. The thing I enjoy most, is showering the people I love when they have a life changing event take place.
Along with 8 other women we put together "A Whale of a Baby Shower" for the sweet little couple. Mommy and Daddy are using a whale theme for the nursery so that's what we went with for the shower. Mommy's sister (soon to be a new aunt) made some adorable banners and wall hangings for the nursery which we used to decorate with. Back in the day, I

used to watch the Christopher Lowell decorating show, where he
preached the importance of lifts and levels in decorating. The Everything is a Dollar Store proved to be my new best friend when looking for a way to spice up the under the sea table. Using clear glass vases and clear plastic platters I made tiers for cupcakes, cookies, fruit and veggies. I filled the vases half way with blue play sand and a handful of seashells,
hot glued the platters to the vases and Wall Laa, we had pedestals and tiers for $2.00 each. When I want to do another themed party, I can just heat the hot glue, remove the sand and shells and refill the vases with something to go with the new theme. I pilfered a friends house for sea shells big
and small and a light house table for nothing but pure pleasure. I sprinkled broken sea glass around the table like confetti and that's all she wrote on decorating the under the sea table. Other hostesses brought whale shaped cookies and whale decorated cupcakes, both of which were too pretty to eat (well almost). The shower of gifts included a belly cast (courtesy of the hostesses), a daddy diaper bag so dad can preserve his manhood while still styling and profiling his chic self and a box o'bow ties because apparently someone expects this baby boy (who is already too big for his britches) to be an engineer ( God help us)!!!!  Seriously someone should of clued me into that little tidbit, I would have made a box o' pocket protectors to match the bow ties. In lieu of cards, we asked everyone to use a story book and write a sweet sentiment on inside cover. A basket of diapers were provided for each guest to write a little note on to make late night diaper changes a little more interesting. While the cute couple unwrapped their gifts, guest marked items off of their Baby Bingo cards. the one who had the most stickers won a gift from Bath and Body Works. We also played "The Price is Right" to see who had the most "How Much Does it Cost" knowledge. We had a Whale of a time whale of a good time showering this couple with love and good wishes. My theory on life is this.... If you want your life to be wonder filled, fill your life with wonderful people. The Smith family has filled my life with so many wonderful memories, a Whale of a baby shower was a way to give back just a smidge of the joy they have brought into my life.

Houston, We've Reached a New Low

We don't look bored in this picture because all the kids are behind the photographer making us look more interesting.

When I was pregnant with my youngest, my husband and I worked as counselors for our church youth camp. We had one camper who whined THE ENTIRE camp because he "was bored." At the end of the camp, they always gave out little awards (The messy award, the friendly award). The little bored camper got the "I'm Bored Award." When they announced his award he fell from his chair, crying and rolling on the floor. It had been a fun week, but that was a priceless moment that topped the week off as the funniest moment of all. Today marks a month since we became empty-nesters. Now I remember why we had children. . .  We're just dang boring without em. Sadly, we're like Homer and Marge Simpson, sittin on the couch watchin our stories. Well, maybe not quite as bad as Homer and Marge, but pretty dang close. The good thing about empty nesting is, the grocery bill has plummeted. I've been on a cooking strike. Luckily, I'm married to a man who is perfectly content with frozen dinners. Well, I guess there is the slight chance my cooking is so bad that it's not missed, but for narcissistic purposes, let's go with the content thing. It's so boring at our house that I walked into the kitchen the other day and He said. . . "I'm bored. We should go on a hike or go bowling or something."  I just paused for a minute then said. . . "Yeah, we should." Then we just continued on with all the things we weren't doing. Yes, Houston we've reached a new low.