"Be Sweet"

I have always told my kids... "Be Sweet" when I dropped them off at school or when they left to spend the night with a friend. I think all parents want their children to represent them well when they are out of eye shot. A Momma can always give a kid the eye that says 10 times more than anything a man could say with words, but when you're not there.... You just have to keep your fingers crossed and stay close to the phone just in case. So "Be Sweet" has been my official warning, along with "Make good choices". Earlier in the week I took my little Sailor to the doctor. I knew that they would probably have to dope her up before they began her treatment and flashbacks of when she had her wisdom teeth kept running through my head. My husband was bringing her home and she was totally looped out from the medication. He was guiding her up the front steps when the front

door opened. The lady who cleaned the house was there and had seen him walking up the steps. My daughter took one look at her and said... "I don't like you.... You're fired!" with the slurred speech of a drunken sailor. My husband (a man of few words) just smiled and rolled his eyes as he turned her in the direction of her room. So, when the nurse called her back the other day, I stood up, gave my daughter a hug and said... "Be sweet." She just smiled and promised she would try. Later when they called us back, she was curled up on the bed. I sat in the chair beside her bed and began feeding her ice chips. She looked up at me with those sweet little eyes (like she was 8 instead of 28) and said... "Momma, I wasn't ugly." It took me a second to figure out what she was talking about and she must have seen my confusion because she said... "The nurses said I didn't act ugly, I was sweet." Awe, she's still Momma's sweet little girl! No matter where she goes or how old she grows, she will always be Momma's little girl.

Kids... The evolving gift

It really is the truth that if you had 10 kids.... or 19 kids and counting, they would each one be different. It always amazes me how you can speak to adult siblings, raised in the same house, by the same parents and yet the vision of their childhoods seem totally different. I guess it's not so much how you're raised, but how you view how you were raised. Because of the age difference between my first two children and my third, it's been like having two separate families. My youngest child has practically been an only child. Both his brother and sister have been out of the house for several years. The difference between the two families are just amazing. When my first two were growing up, there was constant fussing, fighting, you know the typical... "She's looking at me!" scenario. The house definitely had more of a high energy vibe to it back then. I thought my second child was going to be the quiet one, for about two days till I got him home. So when number three came along I reserved judgement on what he would be like, cause you just never can tell. He actually is my quiet one. People often say "Oh, I bet he's not that quiet at home." and I tell them "Oh yeah, he is that quiet at home." But the curious difference between him and the first two are his organizational skills and somewhat OCD ability to have a place for everything and have everything in it's place. The other day when he was gone the dogs got his door opened and went into his room. They rumpled the covers a little before I shewed them out. I straightened everything so he wouldn't know. He hates for them to be in there and doesn't like anything moved..... ANYTHING! He came home, walked straight into his room and right back out again. "Mom, were the dogs in my room?" I told him they were but I ran them out and they didn't mess anything up.I asked him how he could tell they had been in there... "I could just tell." He said.  "I don't like them in here." That just cracked me up. This weekend I was cleaning house and I went in his room to vacuum and mop. Except for a few little dust bunnies, his room was spotless... SPOTLESS! When my older kids lived at home, I never worried about vacuuming their rooms because I couldn't see the floor to know if it needed vacuuming! As teenagers,  their room was their space and I allowed them to keep it (or not keep it) anyway they wanted it (it wasn't usually pretty). Amazingly they have both turned into nice tidy adults, so I guess that means I wasn't the WORST Mom ever (there's that refrigerator Mom you may have heard of). I don't mind being honest and saying that any neat genes they got, came from their Father. I've always wished I had just a tiny bit of anal in me, but it just wasn't to be. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a slob.... I'm just very relaxed. When I look at my kids I see a refreshing mixture of my husband and I with a heavy dose of originality in each one of them. I think that is what makes parenting so much fun... It's like a gift that has layers and layers of wrapping and as each layer is unwrapped the gift just keeps evolving making being a parent a process that never gets boring.

Sibling Challenge=So Much More!

A good friend of mine is always encouraging our kids to "Get out of your comfort zone." It's become his mantra. In fact he is the one who organized the first mission trip to Mexico my oldest Son went on when he was 15. My son came back a changed person and he remains changed to this day. His passion is missions and helping the less fortunate. He is the Volunteer Coordinator at a homeless shelter in Oklahoma City. The eyes he sees his world through are completely different than the eyes of those who have not gotten an up close and personal look at poverty and need.

My Daughter just recently returned to San Diego from being deployed in the Persian Gulf. Since she has been in the military she has learned that even though she can maintain a friendship, most of them have to be long distance. It seems that just about the time she is able to develop a close network of friends, they end up being moved to different states and she has to start from scratch all over again. It's difficult to be far away from all of your family and friends. The other day she was talking to her brother who simply can't imagine what not having a network of close friends would be like. He has been fortunate that most of his high school buddies live in the same City as him, if not in the same house as him. He has lived in the City long enough to have developed lots of friends outside his main circle. As he has gone through different life transitions it's made him more aware of how blessed he is to have his support system and how difficult it must be for his Sister to be so alone and so far away. While they were speaking on the phone he asked her if she would do him just one favor.... That's all he wanted was for her to do this one thing. He told her if it didn't work out then she didn't have to do it again but he wanted her to try it just once. He told her to contact a shelter there in San Diego or an organization and volunteer just one evening helping the homeless. Just for the record.... That is way out of her comfort zone, but because he insisted she agreed to the challenge. I spoke on the phone with her yesterday and she was very nervous and uncomfortable about going.

First thing this morning  I got a phone call. When I heard her special ring-tone sound, I immediately picked up the phone and cut right to the chase... "So, how'd it go?" She kind of laughed, and said that it had gone "really well." She had contacted The Rock Church there in San Diego and signed up for their Thursday night small group that goes out and takes stuff to people on the street. This church has been such a blessing to her over the last couple of years. It is a church that is totally plugged into the community in several tangible ways. So she met the leader of the group downtown last night. They were armed with tooth brushes, juice, water and other things that most people take for granted. They began the process of going up to those who were just settling down for the evening, under the stars. Many of them had their pets by their side... Their only companion. As she went around talking to the different people she was struck by several things she didn't expect to find. Many of the homeless were there by choice. They had chosen to live on the streets and "They seem totally content" she said in amazement. Another thing that surprised her was the conversations she had.... "Mom, most of their speech was so eloquent and intelligent." A lot of people, myself included imagine all homeless people to be drunkards or mentally challenged, this just simply isn't the case. One lady she spoke to had a masters degree and had chosen to live on the street to help save money for her sister's medical care. Isn't that an awesome, sacrificial act of love, or what?!! This lady was articulate, educated and politically savvy, yet she had chosen a different lifestyle than others who had her educational background. My daughter was also amazed that these people who basically had nothing, asked for very little and were so grateful for anything. She said when she would ask some of them if they needed anything, they would simply reply... "No, we're good." She said... "What they really seemed to want most of all was someone to talk to."

She walked away from downtown San Diego last night with a new perspective and a new understanding of the homeless. "I felt like I had been the one who was bless." she said. It's true that we are blessed, so that we may be a blessing to others. I think most of us are guilty(I know I am) of saying we'll pray for those less fortunate, or we will give money to help those less fortunate, but we very seldom want to reach out to those less fortunate in a tangible way that will bring us face to face with them.... It might make us uncomfortable. I wonder if those who won't "Get out of their comfort zone", aren't the ones who should carry the title of less fortunate. After all, when was the last time that you've said.... "No, I'm good." I know I haven't said it nearly as often as I should. Looking back, she said she would definately be doing this again, as well as looking into other ministries that would enable her to give back. It makes me happy to see my kids not only reaching out to help others, but to also challenge each other to be more.... So much more.

Caleb's Prayer

Today is the first day of school which is Always a bittersweet time for students who are anxious to be back with their friends, but who still want to sleep in with no responsibilities. I think I'll always feel that twinge of excitement in the air on the first day of school, even when I have no more kids in school. As driving to work this morning I saw kids huddled together in their yards, little kids with back packs holding tightly to their Momma's hand as they walked to their first day of the elementary school that is down the street from us. I know several teachers that have been gearing up to get back in the swing of things and who have been spending the last several evenings of their summer getting their rooms ready for the eager little minds that will arrive today. As much as I'd like to put my baby in a bubble where only positive influences can get through to him, I know that real strength comes from the trials and tribulation of day to day decisions and hard choices. My best option is to cover him in prayer like I have my other two kids who are now out on their own. My prayer is: "Lord, keep a hand of protection on him. Lead him and guide him in all things. Build a hedge of protection around his mind, body and soul and fill him with your wisdom. Make your way bright before him and give him courage to walk in that light. Give him strength to stand for what is right. Give him favor with those that have authority over him, and bless him so that he can be a blessing to others".

Paw Prints and Permits

Well, it finally happened. My 15 year old got his drivers permit. I know from experience that the time will now began to fly by at a neck breaking pace and before you know it.... he too will be flying from my nest. Preparations of my heart began years ago, but I know that all of the preparation in the world won't keep little cracks at bay once that house is finally quiet of heavy metal christian music. LOL! Oh well, it's all good. Anywho.... I thought I'd let him drive me to Nana's (which is right around the corner), the other day. Actually I was going to walk my dog over there but thought hey, he can just drive me. Since I already had Sailor Girl collared up and she was anxious to get on our way I figured she could go along for the ride. There was just one.... well several problems with that idea. Problem #1 is, she gets really anxious during car rides and wants to sit in your lap. I figured I could solve this problem by sitting in the back with her so maybe she would be a little more at ease. Problem #2 is, she is really the wrong size for the car, the wrong size for my lap, pretty much the wrong size for anything other than being saddled up for a ride. If the record for stuffing people into a VW Beetle  is 19 (they were bankers so they had unusually large heads), then I should be able to get all of Sailor Girl into my Chrysler. I got in the back seat first and amazingly she wasn't too skittish about going in. We did have a hard time getting her tail to stay inside the car while we shut the door.... It kept wanting to fly out. Problem #3 was, my Son couldn't see anything in the rear view mirror, nor could he see anything out the back window because from floor to ceiling there was nothing but dog (with a little bit of Momma squished in). Needless to say we did manage to get to Nana's and back in one piece. I have several paw print bruises but I'm used to those, and my son has decided it's more fun to drive with just Daddy in the car since Mom's mind is always going in several directions at once. That's fine with me. I taught our daughter to drive and after that I pretty much feel like I've paid my parenting dues and now it's Dad's turn. Like I said, it's all good, but it's all going too fast.