Choo Choo That's Who

(disclaimer.... Multiple grammar errors, run-on sentences can be expected)
You know how guitar players have that ugly guitar face that in some circles might be considered cool looking, but to everyone else it just looks like a face you would never want to be seen in public? Lucky for me, I have an ugly golf face that is seldom seen because I rarely play golf. Well, I take that back, I play at least once a year whether I need to or not and that is during the annual company golf scramble. I know!! Lucky, lucky team that gets stuck with me and my ugly golf face which only gets used when I actually do something right and that rarely happens to me in general and especially not on the golf course, but apparently it happened once this year and yea me the photographer just happened to catch it in all its glory. Also amazing is…. The girl who never wins anything (that would be me)

My lucky, lucky team

won the title “closest to the hole” for the women. I have no idea how that happened…

Professional golf shoes

Must have been my golf shoes. The golf scramble is the one time a year when all of the people in the office are co-mingled with the guys in the field. It’s a nice chance to put faces to the names you hear and see all the time. Working in

Marge -n- Me

the office, we miss out on all of the shenanigans that goes on in the field. We hear stories, but things in the office are very uneventful. I try to mix things up as much as possible, but in a department full of Engineers, it’s like… Well, there really isn’t a good way to explain it, except things are very reserved in a… Well… A snooze-fest kind of way.  Not because they are boring, just because we are so busy (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it). Who has time for practical jokes and shenanigans and such? BUT if there are shenanigans going on, you bet I want to be right in the middle of them which is why I was so disappointed that I didn’t get included in a pre-golf shenanigan aimed at one of our foreman (who I’ve shenaniganed with before) and who is famous for digging himself holes he can't seem to crawl out of. In fact I believe people have gifted him a shovel or two because he keeps wearing his out. A few days before the scramble he was presented with a gold plastic golf set (child size). Oh man!!! Why hadn’t I thought of that. The benevolent being who gifted him the golden set was anonymous and unbeknownst to me as to why, he suspected I had done the honors (if only I had). All would have been fine and dandy if he had left it atthat, but later in the day, I received a rambling email addressed to me and several others where he actually…. Well, I’m not sure exactly what he was trying to say (we had several try to decipher the ramblings), but its safe to say “The trash talking” had officially began, it included me (specifically), and much like Isoroku Yamamoto’s quote regarding Japan attacking Pearl Harbor, all he did was “awaken the sleeping giant”… So let the shenanigans begin.  I was able to obtain some “insider” information, which got the wheels a rollin.  All I had to go on was he had a

Choo Choo's big rig

favorite saying “As all of you know it is hard to build a railroad when some individuals are hollering whoa!!”, which had earned him the new nick name of “Choo Choo”. The deciding factor was… He wasn’t happy about how sticky the new nick name was. It seemed the name “Choo Choo” had taken off like a steamroller on steroids. Now, all of the guys in the field were calling him “Choo Choo”. How convenient for me. He rolled out of his truck at the scramble to find his very own “Choo Choo” as well as multiple different signs at several
tee boxes with train jokes and other silly things. He even had his very own Thomas the Train riding toy on his first hole, that I noticed he carried around in his cart all day long. An added bonus was all of the Choo Choo hoots and hollers that were heard throughout the day (yes I believe someone had a train whistle). In his rambling email he instructed….

“Jackie if you notice the dog is on the front porch and like we always say if you can’t run with the big dog’s stay on the porch. (that goes for golf also)”

To which I respond….

Trophy Wife

You know how some people just have the "Midas Touch"? Have you ever met someone you referred to as "The Golden Child"? I would not be one of those people. Although blessed in more ways than I can count, I wouldn't exactly call myself lucky. I'm more of a "Murphy's Law" kinda chick..... You know the one... Just a few fries short of a happy meal.... So close yet so far away. Some people are waiting for "Their Ship To Come In", my ship has actually come in several times only to sink right off of the horizon leaving me to wonder if it was a mirage or if I should throw my life jacket on to save the sinking thing. I'm the one whose lottery ticket (if I actually would buy one) would be just one number off. Actually, it sounds like me to put the actual winning ticket someplace where "I would know where it was" only to forget exactly where that remote spot might be at the exact moment I was suppose to claim my fortune. You get the picture. That's why I was stunned to turn around the other day to find my boss (you know the one who lost the golf tournament) standing behind me with a golf trophy with my name on it. I was so surprised that I actually... well, was a little repelled by the sight and kind of leaned back waiting for the thing to explode or something. I just knew the thing was booby trapped. Then I noticed something.... His smile wasn't really big like it should be if this were a joke and I could see his jaw muscle twitch a little as he held it out for me to take, meaning he was having some difficulty pulling off the whole "I'm happy for you" routine. That's when I realized... It was real! I actually have my win written in stone!!!! How cool it that? After blubbering around for a couple of seconds I shot off an email to my husband to tell him the fabulous news.... I GOT A TROPHY!!! His reply was... well it was so sweet. He said... "Great! Now you're a trophy wife. Well, actually you've always been a trophy wife but now you have the hardware to prove it." Am I crazy or was that not just the sweetest thing.I warned you I was a few fries short.....