Another Place And Time

Another place and time.....
created just for me
Another dimension.......
to my diminishing reality
A chance to reacquaint myself.....
with who I am today
A distant vague reminder.......
of the things I do and say
A second chance to capture.....
The fragrance of my mind
The voice so gently calling......

A voice I hear as mine
An ever present whisper.....
Of decisions of the past
And all the links and impact.....
Eternity shall last
Forever in the spirit.....
Beyond this place and time
The truest sense of wonderment.....
Forever in my eyes
With the highest admiration.....
Of who I am and why
I seek with earnest fervor.....
Till all doubt and fear subside

Broken People

One of my favorite authors is Beth Moore. I've done several of her bible studies and few people can break things down to real life like she can. She is animated and hysterically funny because she is so female. A friend sent me a text yesterday saying she had just started her new book titled "So Long Insecurity, You've Been A Bad Friend". I don't typically consider myself insecure, or let me say any more insecure than most woman. But let's face it, women deal with a lot of stuff. Some of the stuff comes from our childhood, some of it comes from being a woman. Some women cover their stuff up with arrogance and pride, while others cover their stuff up with shyness and impenetrable walls they've built around them. Some of us boldly display our stuff right out there in the open, others hide it deep inside, and others pretend that they don't even have stuff or had it and have totally overcame it. Yep, we've all got our stuff and we've all got our ways of dealing with the stuff we got. I downloaded the book onto my blackberry and I'm only on like the 2nd or 3rd chapter, but I highly recommend it to every woman, I can just tell it's going to hit the nail on the head and help me where I hurt. I'm not paralyzed with insecurity, but after reading a couple of chapters I know that I have enough that it hinders me from being the person God made me to be. I'd like a little help getting past my stuff so that I can get on to the next thing he has for me. I'm certainly not going to hesitate to reach out for help in being a better woman, wife, mother or christian. After all a big part of my personality is to fix things (usually things that I myself have broken or caused to be broken), some times I feel like I should be able to fix other people but the truth of the matter is I have to fix myself before I can help someone else. I've said this before, we are all broken people being put back together by a loving God.

A Guide Of Where Not To Go In China

My Daughter and her friend had signed up for a mainland China tour. The fact that they were the only two who had signed up for it should have been a clue. From the pier they took a bus to a train station, when they got to the border they had to go through immigration - that just wasn't much fun! Since they came in on a Naval ship they did not get a passport stamp in Hong Kong, so immigration were like "how did you get here???", their tour guide was Chinese so he could explain everything and got them through. The first place they stopped was Shenzhen, China to a park that had mangrove trees. While the tour guide was talking about the trees, a group of people started gathering around the group looking at the girls really strange. They were talking to the guide in Chinese. The guide explained to the girls that they were a poor farming family that had come to the city for the Chinese New Year and the girls were the first white people that they had ever seen. My daughter and her friend were completely amazed by their reaction. The children that were with them, were looking at the girls with their mouths open and when they were leaving they would come up to them and poke them and touch them. It was a very unusual experience. The next stop was a museum. This museum had the famous terracotta warriors and horses. My daughter got to touch what they call the "8th wonder of the world" and after a good scolding in Chinese she realized that was a BIG no no. From the museum they went to mall where they could look around for a couple of hours and then meet up later with the group to go back to Hong Kong. Well... they called it a "mall" but my daughter described it as "scary". It was a 8-10 story building with no heat. Apparently there isn't heal in Hong Kong or China except for the really nice hotels. People just wore gloves and coats inside. Anyway the the mall had teeny tiny (No bigger than your bathroom) shops just one right after the other. The shops all sold the exact same stuff, t-shirts, purses, belts, watches none of which had any quality. The owners of the shops sat outside their store and tried to get them to come in so they were constantly bombarded. There were a lot of beggars there that followed them for hours because they had nothing better to do. Even after the girls gave them money they continued to follow them around. This mall was NOT in a touristy area and the girls became increasingly more uncomfortable as they were they only Americans around and everyone spoke only Chinese. Because they were on a group visa they couldn't go back, they had to wait for the entire group. My daughter describes it like the Tom Hanks character in Big, where he goes to the city and is in this crappy hotel and he is so scared he just curls up in a ball and cries. She said that is exactly what she felt like. Coming back into Hong Kong proved to be more of a challenge than leaving. They got stuck again in immigration and both girls were taken back into the interrogation room. There were together so she says it wasn't too bad but from a Mother's perspective, and after seeing the movie Broke Down Palace, I'm glad I didn't know about it until after the fact. They asked them questions... Where they were from.... What ship were they on.... How long were they going to be in Hong Kong. The girls really thought they were not going to be allowed to go back through. Her words exactly are "I'll never go back - EVER". The entire time she was there she said she felt like there was a dark cloud over them, like it was evil. She said she couldn't really describe it and maybe it's because it's communist, but it seemed like a very sad country.

Freezing in Hong Kong

I got an email from my Daughter today about her experience in Hong Kong. Apparently she wasn't as thrilled with it as she was her last couple of ports as she is incredibly homesick and tired and just ready to be back in the good ole USA!!! When they pulled into Hong Kong they pulled in with the entire battle group, and had to anchor out in the harbor. In order to get off the ship, they literally had to climb down and get into a little boat that would take them to the pier. The little boats were called liberty boats and they were basically Chinese water taxis. The boats were pretty small (about 60 passengers) and really nasty because the drivers lived on them. They would cook on little hot plates and it would make the boat stink to high heaven. The combination of the smell and huge swells made a lot of the crew sea sick including my daughter. It was a 30 minute ride to the pier. The Navy set up a building on Fenwick Pier and that is where the liberty boats dropped them off. From the pier they took a taxi or met up for tours. The weather was freezing cold. Since most on the ship were not prepared for cold weather the first thing my daughter and some friends did was go to a mall to purchase warm clothes. From there they went to Outback Steak House for American food which she described as wonderful, then to a couple of pubs and back to the ship.

The Edge of Silence

Standing on the edge of silence

Knowing that I don't belong

Wanting more than any longing

To hear your voice...

To hear our song

Waiting for the clouds to lighten

Waiting for the storm to pass

Hoping all the fears of losing

Something far beyond my grasp

Are nothing more than dreams that torment

Pierce my heart and scar my mind

Of all that lies ahead tomorrow

And all I wish was left behind

Regardless of the cost or reason

Regardless of the truth I know

Whenever your arms are tight around me

Your love does penetrate my soul

And ever shall I hold to memory

Your touch, your smile, your warmth, your smell

And forevermore be captivated

By this that I shall never tell

Less Is Sometimes More

I know it's a fast paced world and the mind set has changed over the last several years. All of society seems to make me believe I need more.... more fries with that Burger, a larger drink with those fries, more things for my house, more electronics to run my television sets, and stereos, computers... But in some cases there are just some things I can't get enough of. Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha for example.... Coney Islander.... Shoes (well we'll leave that one out of this example)... The things that I truly enjoy and can never get enough of... I also never want to take them for granted. So instead of having a White Chocolate Mocha every day before work, I limit it to once a week as a reward. Having that light at the end of my tunnel makes the tunnel not so dark. I don't live in Tulsa anymore but if I did, I would have to do the same thing with Coney Islander. There are just some things in life that are so special to me I don't ever want them to stop being special so I have to limit myself. Not for lack of desire, not for lack of need and not for lack of access, but purely for the sake of keeping that which is special, special. Because more isn't always better and truly where some things are concerned less is sometimes more..... much more.

The Finer Things In Life

I'm a texting addict! I would much rather text a 2 hour conversation than have a 5 minute conversation on the phone. I think the real reason I like to text is because I can take additional time to come up with quick witted responses (if they were really quick witted I wouldn't have to take additional time, huh). I've had a Blackberry Pearl for a little over a year. I haven't had any problems with it until the last few weeks. Sometimes the tracking ball would just freeze up... Oh I hate that. I got online and found a site that showed you how to take it apart and clean it which seemed like a good idea to me. Amazingly enough I took it apart, cleaned it and got it back together again with no harm done. Of course, what I did didn't help it either, but at least is wasn't hopelessly broken like some things I have dismantled. I took the phone into the store and they replaced the thingy that seems to make it work. That is until Monday when out of the blue the ball thingy just wouldn't press down. I could move the ball wherever I wanted but when I went to select it just wouldn't do it. I was in the middle of a life changing text so I grabbed my pen and pushed as hard as I could. After a few tries it finally selected but every time I sent a text I had to use a pen and brute force. I knew that this just wouldn't work because how was I going to text and drive at the same time.... Not that I do that, but let's say I was driving by a possible murder scene in someplace like... Eureka Springs and was trying to save the person being beaten to death.... In a case like that I would most certainly break all texting rules and text while chasing the hoodlums. So, as you can see it was important to get my phone fixed. I went to the phone store on my lunch hour. A bright, well dressed young man came up to me all chipper and professional and asked me what I needed. I explained my problem to him and the inconvenience of having to use a pen to push the ball thingy down. When I finished talking he just stood there looking from me to the phone. He kind of acted like I was speaking French or something. Finally I asked him what was wrong. He looked at me, then looked back at the phone and said.... "Nothing, I'm just trying to figure out why you ever thought it was a good idea to use a pen to force the tracking ball down." Well! I didn't see that coming, especially in the "tone" that he delivered it in. He disappeared to the back and eventually came back to explain the problem. Apparently, gunk such as "make-up and stuff" can get trapped under the "thingy" and when I pressed it with the pen it broke the little sensor which was now not sensitive (although I was getting more sensitive by the second). He then began to rattle off my options all of which sounded expensive and I continued to stare at him like I did when my math teacher tried to explain algebra. He ended his little speech with a question mark and wanted to know which option I wanted to take. He asked me "Have I completely lost you?" to which I happily replied "Oh yeah". I pointed to a pretty little purple phone and told him I wanted to do whatever I needed to do to take that home. Lucky for me he turned me over to a sales girl who juggled my account around to allow me to carry that pretty little purple phone out of the store. I spent over an hour in the store that day and have been back every day since trying to get my plan and my phone working as it should. Of course when my husband gets the cell phone bill my marriage may not be working as it should, and he may suggest I take my pretty little phone and visit a counselor. He totally won't understand that I did it for the good of society and as a crime fighting citizen it is my duty to make sure I have all of the the equipment I need. Men!! Sometimes they just don't understand the finer things in life.