Whole New Meaning to "Put Your Big Girl Panties On"

This weekend I went to the City with several friends. Friday night we were waiting in the lobby for others to arrive. The three of us were sitting against the back wall and we were just chillin, watching people who were coming back from a concert down the street. I assumed from the way they were dressed, it must have been a concert for the "younger" generation. They Didn't look like the people you typically see at a James Taylor or Eagles concert. The three of us were half asleep or in that comfortable, got my belly full and in in a daze kind of state. While staring straight ahead the lobby doors opened and I instantly caught my breath. My mind could not fully comprehend what I was seeing. I just remember muttering in a low moan.... "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, would you look at that!" (without moving my lips as not to be obvious). At exactly the same time the guy that was with us did and said the same thing. We couldn't take our eyes off of the object of our fascination.  His wife who was sitting between us had clearly not seen what we had seen.  We both turned to her at the same time and said "Did you not see that?!?" She looked at us in total confusion and said "What? What are you talking about?" Neither her husband nor myself have ever been known to be at a loss for words.... Except now! Finally, he gathered his composure to explain what we had seen. When he got to the critical part, I felt the urge to jump in with a more vivid word picture ..... The jest of the sighting was this.... A plus sized (and I'm talking several sizes plus some) girl, probably 20ish in age, wearing a nondescript white tee-shirt that was loosely belted at her hips.She had on fish net stockings and black panties with white ruffles. That was it. As unbelievable as it seems..... My eyes never made it past the ruffles to observe what kind of footwear she had on. Trust me the fact that I didn't notice her shoes even though I have a huge shoe fetish speaks volumes to how she was dressed. Did she leave her pants at the concert? Did she even realize she wasn't wearing any pants??? These are all questions that really should have been addressed by someone in her party. Were her friends too embarrassed to tell her she didn't have any pants on? Was she one of those people who didn't want to be told she had no pants on? If it had been a giant sized bugger, would they have not told her about that as well? Come on people!!!! Please, please, please.... If I ever leave the house with just my ruffled panties on, please someone clue me in!!!!! I'm not a prude.... Not even close. I can't even tell you how upset I was when I the EMT people cut my favorite jeans off and proceeded to my Victoria's Secret panties. But I like my cute panties under my pants!!!!! Hench the term UNDERWEAR. My people watching this weekend gave a whole new meaning to the phrase "Put your big girl panties on and deal with it." She had her big girl panties on and everyone else was having to deal with it. Oh for heaven's sake!!!!

Dress Heels + Swamp=Very Bad Wardrobe Choice

Yesterday was a long....honkin....day! It started unnecessarily at 2:00 a.m. and went on for what seemed like forever. That being said, it was an interesting day and a great experience. I flew to Lafayette on business with my boss attended a meeting, had lunch then flew to New Orleans to check out a location for our Company. Although I was a little nervous about flying on a small plane, everything went well. When we took off I was checking out the plane. There was an ashtray looking thingy on the wall beside me, I gave it a gentle tug to see if it really was an ashtray but it didn't budge. There were two inset pull handles next to the "not an ashtray, ashtray", one handle was red and looked like it had seen better days,the other handle was just silver. I reached up and started to give the red handle a little tug, just to see what it would do. Luckily my brain engaged just a second before the tug and I thought to myself..... "Red usually is a warning of some kind" and "Do you really want to pull a handle that you have no clue what it does, while you are in the air?" Then I noticed the small print just at the bottom of the pilot's window. "For Emergency Exit, Pull Handle and Push Window." I just tucked my hands into my lap, leaned back in my chair and gave a little chuckle. My boss was just getting settled in to read and asked me what was so funny. I told him I had considered pulling on the handle thingy just to see what it would do but thought better of it. I explained to him that that's when I usually get myself in trouble. He said..... "Oh like when you broke that one F16 when you were in San Diego?"..... "Exactly!!! That is exactly what it's like!" While touring USS Midway in San Diego a couple of years ago I wondered off from my family out of sheer boredom. My husband was explaining every little aspect of the planes to the kids (probably down to the nuts and bolts) which bores me to absolute tears. So I was just wondering around (unsupervised) and was looking at this F16. I noticed it had a little door, just like the door to the gas cap on any car. So I thought I'd just open the little door to confirm that yes it was the door to a very ordinary gas cap. No big deal right? Wrong!!! The second I touched that little door it just completely fell off in my hand. I was stunned. I totally expected those military planes to be more durable (it's true you just don't get much for your tax dollar these days). I nervously tried to put the little door back on and glanced over my shoulder to see if anyone had been watching. Sure enough there stood my entire family, legs spread apart like the principal of a school, arms crossed over their chest and my daughter (who is in the Navy) with a horrified look on her face..... "Mom!!! What are you doing? You're going to get us in trouble!" No amount of stammering or explaining could convince them that I did not intentionally destroy that plane..... I was just curious and it broke... Things happen. But yesterday, gratefully they did not happen. Get this mental picture....... Large mahogany conference table. Tall leather conference chairs. Newly painted walls with pretty pictures adding just the right accent. Sitting around the table were 10 big burly oilfield men, 3 or so engineers (think pocket protectors), all talking about mud, BOP, BHA, logs and fluid loss. You got it!!! I got to sit in on a STUD meeting... OOPS!!! Typo there.... That's a SPUD meeting (I don't care who you are... that there is funny). After the meeting we flew to New Orleans to check out a location. This location was so cool. First of all I've never been to Louisiana much less the swamps of New Orleans. The location is surrounded on all sides by swampy area. The spanish moss hanging from the trees made it look a little like the swamp that Yoda lived in on Star Wars. It was really beautiful. The lease had already been leveled and tons of river sand had been put into place. I was wearing heels and my boss told me I could just sit in the car while he looked around, but I was like... "No way!" I pulled up my dress pant legs, and clomped around in the sand straight over to the edge looking for something with two beady eyes. Nothing, notta, dangit!!! It looked like the perfect environment for a croc and they had talked about them in the meeting and three had already been caught, but of course the day I was there NOTHING!!! When I started to get back car I looked down and found my shoes where completely covered in gunky, brownish/gray sticky stuff clay. I'll admit it. I'm an Oklahoma girl born and raised with red dirt and red clay... I was a little intrigued with brownish/gray clay. It just doesn't take must to amuse someone like me. If I learned one thing yesterday it would be.... Dress heels + Swamp = Very bad wardrobe choice

See, you're never too old to learn something :-)