Sweetp

Stressed About the Dress

2012-02-25T14:11:00.000-06:00

Stilletos would not be comfortable here

So, my son is getting married in a couple of months and I've been on a quest for the perfect Mother of the Groom dress. Normally this would not be a big deal, because shopping is my spiritual gift, but this isn't going to be your traditional wedding. It will be an outdoor June wedding in Colorado. I've done some Internet surfing before I actually hit the streets and I've found everything and nothing at all. I was telling my son that I wasn't finding anything and I didn't know what I was going to do. Yeah, he totally doesn't get it.

Seth - Mom are you actually stressing out over what dress to wear?

Me - Of course I am!!! I'm the Mother of the Groom, that's an important role.

Seth - Mom, the whole reason we are doing the wedding the way we are, is so no one is stressed out. That's the whole point of doing a casual outdoor wedding.

Me - It doesn't matter, I just know there will be pictures (forever frozen in time) and I have to look fabulous.

Seth - Long sigh

Seriously, Doesn't every woman stress about what to wear to their child's wedding? It's not being held in a nudest colony so yes, I'm stressed about the dress. I'm almost certain that I should pitch a show to TLC entitled "I'm Stressed About the Dress". It would be a hit series and I'd make tons of money to pay for the dresses I've found that I'm pretty sure I can't live without and have nothing to do about the wedding.

It's Just a Matter of Time

2012-02-20T09:27:00.000-06:00

Lee Anderson

My husband lost a very dear friend this weekend. Social networking is an amazing thing. At 3:16 facebook has Lee checking in at Pole Position to race go-carts with friends and one of the next post has him taking his last breath while holding the hand of his one true love. Life is short. This is the second friend my husband has lost in the last month. His shock and grief was apparent Sunday as he called friends to inform them of the news. It's never easy to watch loved one pass from this life to the next, but it's just a matter of time until everyone faces that time. I'm glad Lee left this earth doing something he loved to do and enjoying the ones he loved. We should all be so lucky as to have our time to come while we're having the time of our lives with those we love. The hands of time keep ticking, make each second count.

If I Could

2012-02-17T13:18:00.000-06:00

If I could I would...

Map the roads we've traveled together...

Bottle the days we've spent together....

Rewind the music we've made together...

Unlock the pain we've shared together...

Rehearse the dance we danced together...

Paint the stars that lead me to you...

And frame the moon you loved me under....

If I could I would, so nothing would be forgotten...

PP People Got it Goin On

2012-02-14T09:34:00.000-06:00

Hope you have a sterotypical Valentines Day

Even if Valentine's Day wasn't my birthday, I would still love it. It's my favorite small holiday because it's about love and friendship and touchy feely heart stuff. To a hopeless romantic, Valentine's Day is da-bomb!!! A co-worker mentioned that she thought Valentine's Day was a totally overblown made-up holiday... I'm pretty sure that is blasphemy.I've spent a few hours the past week making homemade valentine cards and I even made special gifts for

the 4 PP (pocket protector)people in my department. I do so enjoy giving the Engineers a hard time, after all I wouldn't want their lives here at the office to be a big drab bore. I was going to purchase pink pocket protectors for them, but I looked all over the internet and couldn't find pink pocket protectors. But hey, not one to give up easily, I decided to make my own out of hot pink zebra print duct tape. You can make anything out of duct tape. The non PP people in my office just got home-made cards and candy and you know, they seemed just fine with that because either you've got it or you don't and everyone knows the PP people got it goin on... Valentine's Day should be anything but boring. Have a great one!

Forever Valentine

2012-02-14T08:00:00.000-06:00

Not just anyone could love me forever and ever. Even I'll admit I can be quite a handful and then some at times... But only in a good way. I am just blessed enough to have found that special one to love me through thick and thin, fat and slim, up and down and back again and through the most difficult two years of my life. How he manages, I'll never know, but I'm sure glad he does. He makes this girl very happy because he's my Forever Valentine.

Creepy Dolls @ Affair of the Heart

2012-02-13T09:53:00.000-06:00

What a great time I had Saturday with my family! Saturday my husband and I went to the City to meet up with our kids; sadly our youngest had to stay behind to work. When we got to the City we split up, boys left to do boy things, like look at wood, girls went to do girl things like ooh and awe over blingy stuff at Affair of the Heart. I love going to Affair of the Heart because it's just so girlie. It looks like someone just vomited glitter and rhinestone on anything that could possibly be glued, stapled or blasted with sparkles. There are 7 building full of blinged out anything you can imagine, all in high definition. It can be a little overwhelming, even to those who don't suffer from sensory overload. Toward the 6th building you could tell that the three of us were winding down. As we were walking out of one of the buildings we saw a woman with two babies in her arms. They were the real looking babies. I saw a news program about 40 something women getting these life like dolls and pretending they are real newborns to the point of changing the diapers on a regular basis and putting them in a stroller when they go shopping. I told the girls, that would be me if I didn't get grandchildren soon. My daughter said she would start looking for a home to put me in. In the next building we were standing looking at the hair on the wall... Seriously when you're really tired and are seeing dots because you've looked at too much bling for one day you just have a tendency to stop and stare trying to

comprehend what the heck this booth represents... or at least we did. It was a hair piece booth with a wall of hair, which at that point in the day if you stared at it long enough was kind of creepy. Then I saw two dolls at sitting at the end of the booth on a shelf. They were those real life dolls. I picked the dolls up and insisted on the girls holding them because their bodies are filled with sand or something and they feel so real. The owner of the booth had kind of wondered over and was listening to us when my daughter said... "They are so creepy!" The lady stepped up behind her, jerked the doll out of her arms, cradled it in her arms and replied... "They are not creepy! I looked at my daughter and told her that she had totally just offended the lady. The lady said... "Yes I am offended. I make them myself, I hand paint them and each and every hair on their head is put there by me with a pin. I even painted little veins on her hands." I just couldn't help myself... "Eww, that makes it even more creepy." to which the crazy baby lady had to agree... "Yea, it kind of does." We stepped away from the life like creepy dolls as she soothed their hurt feelers and wrapped them back in their baby blankets. Yea, we didn't make friends with anyone at that booth, she was a little sensitive. As we were wrapping up the last building, trying to maneuver though a land mine of strollers with very upset real life babies who weren't creepy at all, one of them pointed a gun right at me as an explosion of bubbles blasted me in the face... "Oh!!! That is so cool" I told the kid, then I asked the mom where she got it. We went to the bubble gun booth and I told the lady I wanted a bubble gun, in fact just give us three! She wanted to know how old the kids we were buying them were, I looked at her totally hurt and offended and informed her we were buying them for ourselves. She seemed a little shocked, although I'm not sure why bubble blowing adults would be shocking, but she determined we were age appropriate and let us buy three bubble guns with laser lights... When we felt like we couldn't take one step more, we called the guys and had them come pick us up. We told them our creepy baby stories, shot them with bubbles and then went to fix dinner. They wanted to know what we had bought besides three bubble guns. We told them we got ponytail holders that you have to have an ~~engineering~~ technical degree to use, a dog bone place mat for Aja's messy cat, a electric cord cover and Kathleen bought a dress. We made out like bandits. It was a wonderful day and not just in a creepy doll kind of way.

A Dozen Roses for You

2012-02-10T16:07:00.000-06:00

Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Time for flowers, chocolate and all sorts of mushy love notes. When I was small, my Pastor used to tell the congregation to give people their roses while they are living. It is so true that often people influence us, impact our lives and they never even know it.

A man we used to go to church with, wondered in my office this afternoon. He immediately recognized me and called me by name. We chatted for a few minutes, I directed him to where he needed to be and then I sat and allowed myself to walk down memory lane with the memories I had of him... I found myself smiling and actually laughing at the thought of some of those memories. I thought to myself what an impact he had on me and my husband in those early years of marriage. What a shame that I didn't say that to him while we were talking. Mr. Gary Criswell is a person who just makes you feel better after you've been in his presence. I've never seen him without a smile or an encouraging word. That's why I'd like to hand Mr. Criswell a dozen roses of appreciation today. Thank you for the times you've made me laugh, taught my Sunday school class and yes for being in the church play with me. I believe you've made my life a better place to be and I just want to say Happy Valentine's Day and thank you.

When Mike and I first married, our Sunday School teacher was Mrs. Helen Jones. She was always sweet, funny, and was just a wonderful person. She is celebrating Valentine's Day with the Father this year. I'll never forget the time she came for a visit after the birth of my baby. I was the typical flustered new Mom and she gave me no warning she was dropping by. She is one of the few people I would open my door to without advance notice. She came in and made herself at home on my couch. Lucky for me the house was tidy, but it was in need of a good dusting. As we talked she absentmindedly doodled in the dust on my coffee table. Had that been anyone else I would have been mortified, but I knew that Helen wasn't sitting there judging my housekeeping skills, she was there visiting a new Mother and offering words of encouragement. I'd like to give Helen a dozen roses for Valentine's Day and tell her how much her unconditional love meant to me as a new mom. She may be gone but she is not forgotten.

Some people just have a way of capturing your heart and never letting it go. Robin and Larry Hutto, along with Fontaine and Billy Yates came into our lives, forever changing the texture of our spiritual world. We rarely see Robin and Larry because they moved, but Fontaine and Billy still go to church with us. If I have a special prayer request, Fontaine is the first one I notify. She is a special woman and our church is so blessed to have her and her family with us. Robin, Larry, Fontaine and Billy, I'd like to give you a dozen roses for Valentine's Day and to tell you, how very much I love and appreciate every little thing you do and just the special people you are. You have made a difference in my life!

I've been blessed by a multitude of people who have impacted my life for the better. Valentine's Day is the perfect time to stop and reflect on those you appreciate, say a prayer of thanksgiving and then go out there and impact someone yourself. I'm getting my shoes on, I've got work to do! Happy Valentine's Day Friend.

Women Tools for Men

2012-02-09T15:46:00.001-06:00

I admit it! I've got an ornery streak about a mile wide. I had been corresponding with my golfing partner at work, about an unresolved issue. Clearly neither of us thought the other was doing things as they should be done and I'm pretty sure neither of us are the type to take things lightly... Well, except for a good joke. I wasn't quite sure he had the tools he needed to communicate effectively with a woman, so I thought I'd help him out on that matter. When he came to the Tuesday yard meeting he had a brightly wrapped gift waiting for him. The guys from the office told him it was from me and encouraged him to open it. He refused. Apparently, he's had a bad experience with gifts others have given him in the past and he wasn't convinced they were telling the truth about the source of the gift. I got a text from one of the engineers that said... "You should call or text Cecil that he has to open his present now." Okay, just for the record, if someone hands me a brightly colored gift, I'll have that thing ripped open in 2.3 milliseconds. No one has to tell me twice to open a gift. Heck, if you're being slow, I'll open your gift for you (just a warning). Is this a man thing?! So I sent him a text telling him to open the gift I got him. A few minutes later I got another text from the engineer that said "He skill won't open it." I know, spelling isn't a pre-requisite for getting an engineering degree at OU, but I let it slide and assumed he meant that Cecil still wouldn't open his gift. So I sent Cecil yet another text that was a little more pleading, if not somewhat threatening.... "CECIL! You are being rude (insert angry face here) and you're hurting my feelers (insert crying face here). I'm not sure what type of abuse they have been subjecting him to during the meeting, but he still was not convinced the gift was from me, or that I was the one texting him. So, my phone rings.... "Jackie is that really you?" I assured him it was really me, and the gift was really from me and that it would not bite or otherwise injure him. He agreed to open the gift and we hung up. Inside the brightly colored box was a pink tool kit with instructions...

There was a pink floral hammer...

For when you want to really drive your point home

A pink floral box knife....

For when you just need to cut through the crap

A delicate little tape measure...

If you insist on digging yourself a hole, you can measure how deep it is before you jump in

Word has it, he got a big kick out of his tool kit. In fact he made the comment (or is it a compliment)....

"Jackie is very intelligent... for a woman."

Yea, I'll be adding a few more tools to that box.... To be continued.....

Near to You

2012-02-07T15:58:00.001-06:00

"Battled scarred, I am workin' oh so hard to get back to who I used to be."

Mahjong playing Star Bellied Sneetch

2012-02-07T09:12:00.001-06:00

My new obsession is playing Mahjong on my my Kindle Fire. My husband is obsessed with the game as well, but we have totally different Mahjong playing styles. I play with my pinkie sticking out like it's in an invisible cast at a make believe tea party with the Mad Hatter (Something I don't personally recommend). I know I look like an idiot with my pinkie flying like a flag, but try as I may, I cannot get that pinkie to stay down!... If I play for an extended time,(like when I'm watching marathon episodes of Toddlers and Tiaras(Those Mom's are psychos!) I'll get a pinkie cramp, that's when I know it's time to back away from the Kindle. My husband plays angry Mahjong. He touches his screen like he's crushing roaches. I keep waiting to find dent marks on his screen. I know it's just because his ego is a little fragile because I'm way better at Mahjong than him. I'm like a Star Bellied Sneetch with stars upon thars and he's a Plain Bellied Sneetch with none upon thars.I love Dr.Suess and Mahjong that's for sure, but I love my Plain Bellied Sneetch a lot more.

The Proposal

2012-01-30T11:36:00.000-06:00

It's the stuff dreams are made of... The moment your child finds the person they will spend the rest of their life with. They both knew it was coming so the trick was to make the non-surprise a surprise.... Throw her off track by telling her not to make any plans next weekend. Paint pictures depicting moments they've shared together and have the tearoom (their
first date place) display the paintings. Take her for a quick
cup of tea. Who knows, maybe she'll say yes..

A mushroom... When we first met

A cup of tea... First date

Watching old movies together....

How we get around....

The game we love to play....

The music we listen to...

The big question???

Get ready for the ride of your life because life is one big surprise!!!!

Freed

2012-01-21T12:21:00.000-06:00

I'm the one who determines if my past will control my present, if old fears will haunt my future and if memories long faded will be the nightmares to my dreams. Hands that twisted my ability to think clearly have no strength to torture my tomorrow unless I give them power. The strength that brought me out will be the strength that fuels me forward to a life that could not be held back by walls you sought to build. I reflect on the darkness you brought into my life and thank God for his grace which brought me out of the darkness into the light. Once freed, I determined I would never return to captivity, yours or anyone else's.... All these years later, that has never changed.

Heaven Only Knows

2012-01-20T14:56:00.000-06:00

The feng shui of my week has been all feng shui'd up (don't bother it's another of my made-up sayings... Say it 10 times real fast and you'll get the gist of it). TGIF!!!! As if I needed a reminder of why I married my husband, he sends me the following email this afternoon.

"At lunch I cleaned the kitchen, made the bed, turned the roast and checked for potato stuff... We have milk, butter and one box of creamery butter mashed potatoes so after work I'll stop by and get another box of potatoes and we should be set..."

And that my friend is true love in it's most excellent form.... Everyday living. How exactly did I get so lucky??? Heaven only knows.

Am I Talking to the Wrong Person?

2012-01-16T09:50:00.000-06:00

This morning I stopped by the bed on my way out of the house and asked my husband a crucial question.... "Does my bump look ok?" He peeks over the sheet with one eye open and says "Yeah." In rapid succession the following questions are fired out.

Me- You sure?

Him- (With eyes shut) Yeah.

Me- Would you tell me if it wasn't?

Him- (With eyes shut) Yeah.

Me- It's not too exaggerated?

Him- (With one eye open) No.

Me- Would you know if it was?

Him- (With eyes shut) Yeah.

Me- Am I probably talking to the wrong person about all of this?

Him-(With eyes shut) No.

Me- Okay, I love you.

The most important question was probably if I was talking to the wrong person, but who else was I going to ask, Morph the Cat? I just went with it, bless his heart.

It's Official and I couldn't Be More Excited

2012-01-16T00:13:00.001-06:00

last night I spent the evening huddled in the most adorable little house in Bethany. My husband and I, along with about 50-75 close friends and family of my son and his fiance, gathered for a much awaited surprise engagement party. The question was being popped across town in a the little tea room of their first date. As soon as the deed was done, they were to go a friends house to break the good news. I stood there surrounded by a sea of twenty something adults, all beautiful and full of dreams and promise. I couldn't help but think to myself that my kids have been richly blessed and highly favored by being surrounded by wonderful friends. The big moment arrived as they walked in the door to oohs and awes, hugs and kisses and surprise visits from the parents of the happy couple. To say it was heartwarming, touching and extremely sentimental is a gross understatement. And so a new chapter begins. I now have a whole new person to love, adore and spoil rotten in true Mother-in-law fashion. It was a blessed evening, and a touching tribute to two people who have invested generously into the lives of others.

Luke 6:38
"Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again."

The love that was shown in the house last night was nothing short of the results of living a life poured

out. I predict many blessings to follow, not only to the happy couple but to the friends and family who are fortunate enough to share in their lives. Congrats Kathleen and Seth, may your journey be full of laughter, many adventures and a love that not only last but continues to grow for eternity.

Send in the Clowns, There's Enough to Go Around

2012-01-11T09:52:00.000-06:00

I've never been a big Obama fan, in fact there was a time (approximately 48 hours ago) when I actually believed I couldn't care less about him, but now I sit here finding that I actually can care less about him. That being stated, I really do like my doctor. I like him so much that I worked for him for 9 years. Working in a small office with someone is kind of like being married to them except you don't have to fix dinner for them or ask them to pick up their dirty underwear, because really, what doctor would leave his dirty underwear lying around the office... I just couldn't work for a guy who did that. I left the doctor's office because I just couldn't take the stress of having the government breathe down my neck and threatening to put my children into slavery if I miscoded a medicare claim or omitted something from a chart, or mistakenly spoke something in the office that was loud enough for a random person sitting 5 feet in the waiting room to hear.The consistency with which the government made up new obscure rules in various shades of gray so they could be interpreted to their benefit when questioned, was just staggering. Life is too short to live like that so I quit on great terms and with no hard feeling. I'm pretty sure the doctor would have liked to quit too but then he wouldn't be able to afford underwear that he could leave just lying around (I don't know for a fact that he actually does that, but I'm just saying there is a slim possibility that he does). So anyway, underwear

aside, I go in this week for my blood pressure/head problem check up. He's carrying this cute little computer around with him and sets it down on the counter. He tells me it's the new software mandated by the health care regulations passed by Obama. I'm guessing it's a kind of interactive thing that prompts doctors on things the computer (government)thinks a doctor should do with a particular patient if certain boxes are checked or, blah, blah, blah (in government speak). He's just about ready to send me on my way when a little box pops up on the screen and he explains to me in a non-threatening kind of way, that the computer is telling him that he should counsel me on my MBI (mass body index) and that he should (I can't remember the actual wording he used) but it wanted him to come up

with a treatment plan for my fatness (my words, not his). Then he just kind of blew the computer off, handed me my prescriptions, patted me on the back and said he would see me in a few months. He in no way tried to make me feel bad and probably thought he had mentioned the whole MBI in such an off handed way that I wouldn't ever notice it, and really I didn't until I got back to work and started thinking about the whole conversation and realized how he

had tried to cover up the subject because he thinks the government is as ridiculous as it really is, but the whole reason the subject came up was because the computer was upset that my MBI was higher than it should be which means I'm fat and the government wants to take away the peanut M&M's I have sitting on my desk that happened to be my breakfast this morning. Then it happens, the whole self loathing thing where I'm mad at everybody, embarrassed and was really really wishing I could run away from home and just spend 24 hours by myself and not have to talk to anyone or look at anyone. I went home from work fixed dinner for my family, strapped on my walking shoes, saddled up the horse and went for a 7 mile walk in the dark of night with the wind howling from the north. When I got home, my MBI was that same as when I left the house, my legs felt like they were going to fall off and my dog was really pissed.

That was on Monday. The week is half over and I'm just now pulling myself out of a pit because of a pop up on my doctor's computer screen. You know what? Obama can kiss my MBI! I'll eat M&M's when I want to, drink Dr. Pepper 10 even though it's made for men and may, out of sheer rebellion, leave my underwear laying around the ~~office~~ house. Go ahead Big Brother, send in the clowns if you want a piece of me because apparently there is enough to go around.

Lovely Mess

2012-01-05T12:03:00.000-06:00

Hmm,once again I will demonstrate to you how to take a simple task and make it complicated. I really should start putting out a video series on these important little tasks, as I'm sure that not just anyone can take the mundane and turn it into catastrophe with the amount of consistency and style as I can. I know, I'm not one to
usually brag (except about well earned golf trophies (spoken in plural form by faith, or OSU stomping rival football teams into the ground), but there probably isn't anyone who will think my ego has grown terribly with this one confession. I was working hard this morning catching up from the holidays. I was getting a little hungry but didn't want to stop long enough for a snack so I popped a peppermint in my mouth. They are the super good kind that are big and melt in your mouth right before they disappear completely. I love them, but I needed more than one. They are really big so I thought I should crunch it up into smaller pieces so my mouth wouldn't be so full. God forbid someone should drop by my office and I be unable to chit the chat with them. I looked around my desk for something that would make a good crunching tool. I

couldn't use my stiletto tape dispenser, it wasn't sturdy enough, I didn't want to use
my pink bling stapler, some of the sparkle might fall off. I decided my high dollar body lotion bottle would probably make the best tool, so I lay the peppermint down on the desk and gave it two good slams. Initially I thought the melty goodness had
been squished out of the peppermint and splattered all over my desk, then I realized that no, my high dollar body lotion bottle had exploded sending sprinkles of my body lotion all over the place. Oh Fudge! On the bright side, my office has the lovely aroma of white chocolate laced with peppery wonder. Just another lovely mess.

The Bitter Sweet Taste of Change

2012-01-05T07:51:00.000-06:00

Seth catches the garter

One of our boys got married this week. Not one of My boys, but one of the boys that feels like mine (does that make any sense at all). I was doing just fine until the music started and then the tears took over and the chill bumps ran up and
down my arms. How could it be that they are all grown up adults now,taking wives and having children? It's absolutely what you're shooting for when you
become a parent, to see your children grow into functioning adults, but then watching it actually happen, rips a tiny bit of your heart out. I had this sudden urge to stand up and shout "Stop! Let's rewind back a few
years when you were just a wee one and let me pinch your cheeks again." Yeah, that wouldn't be inappropriate at all at a friends wedding, so I sat there biting my tongue until I was pretty sure a steady stream of crimson blood was running down my chin, but no, it was just tears. Sweet, bitter, happy and sad tears, all at the same time. Life is truly a complex mixture of

all of the above and it leaves a salty taste on your lips as you
kiss the past goodbye and smile hopefully into the eyes of forever.

The Best Way to Welcome a New Year

2012-01-04T13:22:00.000-06:00

17 years ago on New Year's Day, we began a family tradition. Some friends of ours invited us over to eat and play games on New Year's Day. We both had children the same age, including babies that at the time were only a few months old. The day turned out to be one of the most pleasant holidays we had
ever had and we decided to make it a yearly event. That was 17 years ago. We rotate houses every year, but we never change the main purpose of the
day which is just to have raging fun for as many hours as we can stand. Our New Year's
Day get together is the one day that I know without a doubt that I will laugh until my stomach hurts. This year was no exception. We were missing a few faces but they were in our hearts as we laughed, shouted and occasionally snorted during the various games and stories that were told. It is the best way to welcome in a New Year.

Sweet Ending to a Blessed Year

2011-12-31T23:11:00.000-06:00

This is it... The end of 2011. As I sit here recalling the events of this year, my heart is overwhelmed with gratitude. Time actually does mend, and although scars may remain, perhaps they will begin to fade with the passing of time. At the beginning of this year, I was hopeful that the fog would continue to lift leaving pieces I could recognize as the old me... It did, and I have and I'm thankful for every little sliver of myself that has been restored. We just got home from an evening of laughing with friends, really nothing rings the old year out like hysterical belly laughing that gives you a headache. The ending to 2011 has been sweet. All of our kids are back in the same state, everyone is healthy and enjoying life. Those are blessings you should never take for granted. I am enriched by those around, and blessed beyond what I deserve. May the beginning of 2012 be as comforting as the end to 2011.

Sleep Eating Through Christmas

2011-12-28T17:21:00.000-06:00

I lay in bed Christmas Eve night, not listening for sleigh bells, but listening to my stomach roll and rumble from eating approximately 4 cups of raw sugar cookie dough. Another perfect example for why I should not bake.... Nothing ever makes it to the oven, at least not in one piece. How is it even possible for a cookie that is so bland tasting when cooked, to be so absolutely to die for delicious in it's raw form? This is a question that has haunted me for years. As if 4 cups of raw sugar cookie dough isn't bad enough, I have to top mine with butter cream frosting. To my credit I only ate about 2 cups of the frosting, but that was because my stomach was already starting to swell from the cookie dough. All evening long I followed my family from room to room with my tray of sugar cookies... I implored them to eat the cookie because I knew if they didn't, I would. All three of the kids sat there, with their Dad's skinny genes pumping through their veins and snubbed my cookies except for a few bite (Hey! Don't judge my cookies, they were good). Sure enough, Christmas Eve night I was so jacked up on sugar I couldn't sleep. I popped an Ambien and the next morning the cookies were still there.... But the frosting had been licked clean from each and every one of them... I was guilty of sleep eating AGAIN! I made myself get out of the house yesterday for a 7 mile walk. I figure I could have walked all the way to Arkansas and back and still not walked off those freakin cookies. Maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll get a bad case of fat eating worms from the flour. The problem with this theory is.... I have never been lucky. Oh ugh!

Kind of Like Old Times....

2011-12-28T11:03:00.001-06:00

Christmas has really been a difficult time for me the last few years. With my older two kids grown and gone (in some cases gone as in out of the country gone) it was difficult for me to maintain the traditional holiday
feel around the house. Everything seemed out of sync. Don't get me wrong, I am tickled pink that my children are thriving in their adult years. I'm happy to see them fulfilling their dreams and going on adventures I would have never even dreamed.
I'm not one who usually struggles with change, but I am not ashamed to admit that I have struggled with the nearly empty nest syndrome. Last Christmas I pretty much
stayed in a fetal position.
I was starring

the one year anniversary of my fall in the face and had enough residual side effects that I was in complete panic mode about facing New Year's as a different person (I'm still not real crazy about the
new me). The year before that we just packed up the the boys and literally ran away from home. We ran to the mountains of Colorado along with our best friends and their families and enjoyed probably the best Christmas ever just pretending the rest of the world didn't exist. This year my daughter was back in the plains of Oklahoma, my son had finally decided that maybe God didn't call him to a life of singleness, so his beautiful girlfriend joined us and for the first Christmas in a long time we were all together. The last few holidays we served at the homeless shelter but this year we had a family dinner with my brother and his wife and my parents. It was nice to have everyone together under the same roof for a change.... Kind of like old times.

Unexpected Christmas Treats are Just Food for Thought

2011-12-23T11:32:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I lost the diamond out of my wedding ring. Everyone in our department thought I was having severe back problems because I was walking around all hunched over trying to find my stunningly large stone (lol). One of the guys whipped out his pocket sized flashlight (probably from his pocket protector)to aid in the search Despite me roaming the office on my hands and knees we found nothing except piles

of glitter from my blingy Christmas ornaments and possibly from some of my inappropriately gaudy fashion wear. I knew I should have worn my contacts! This morning I continued my search in my office. I dug through the files I worked on yesterday, scavenged underneath my desk and trolled the nether regions of my one hundred year old desk chair. I peeled back the cushions of my chair to find an
array of crumbs, screws, paperclips, staples and even a well preserved Cheeto. Not far into the journey the thought occured to me that this chair which had held God only knows how many people over the decades, with it's flattened cushions and squeaky wheels, also held the butt juice of each and every one of those people... And that my friend is the juicy food for thought on this the Friday before Christmas day. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

30 Years into Forever

2011-12-19T09:14:00.000-06:00

Today I'm 30 years into Forever with my husband. A lifetime to love him is not nearly long enough. He took my dreams and turned them into reality.

The Feng Shui of Memories

2011-12-13T14:35:00.000-06:00

I wouldn't say I'm comfortable with the stage of life I'm in right now. It's kind of like being in a perpetual state of limbo, no little kids at home, no grandchildren to spoil, just kind of blah. Life seemed more natural when I was juggling home, husband, a job and three kids. Now, I feel like a boat with no sail, a ship with no shore, a kite with no crossbars to keep me from collapsing. I have a friend who became a first time grandparent last week. It's exciting to watch the next phase of the journey begin. When the kids were little, we had traditions. The Easter Bunny came at Easter, in the fall we had a pumpkin carving party, and of course Christmas time was full of wonder that can only be seen through the eyes of a child. My oldest son told me a couple of weeks ago that we no longer had any "Feng Shui" in our holidays. I couldn't agree more! This Stella had lost her groove, misplace the Yin that went to her Yang and couldn't find the Jo in her Mo if her life depended on it. So, this year I'm trying to get that "Feng Shui" flowing again. First on the list was what I hope will be a new tradition...Girls Spa Day. My son's girlfriend will be spending Christmas with us. I'm super excited about getting to spend time with her, not only does she seem really sweet, but she makes my son light up like a Christmas tree which just sets this Momma's heart on fire. I wanted her to be more comfortable Christmas by getting to know her a little beforehand. What better way to get to know someone than to get naked with them??? LOL, just kidding (kind of). I booked a girls day at a spa for myself, my daughter and my son's girlfriend. It was wonderful. The spa was tranquil with dim lights, wonderful soothing smells, and soft gentle music. We all had one hour facials, and one hour massages... We were happy limp noodles when we were done. I believe "Spa Day" has put the Feng back in our Shui as we head towards the Christmas holiday. Great traditions create great memories and great memories bring Feng Shui to all things.

Glass is Full

2011-12-05T09:36:00.000-06:00

One thing I can say for sure about my weekend.... It wasn't boring. Friday night was our Christmas party for work. We had a great time eating wonderful food, listening to amazing jazz, receiving service awards,
winning prizes and watching Reflections the local High School performing choir sing and dance. I was up bright and early Saturday morning preparing for the wedding shower for another one of our boys. My husband (who is a wonderful sport) helped me get the room ready at the church and kept me calm and collected although I'm not really sure how he does it. It was well after two when we got home from the shower and all I wanted was a quick nap before heading to the Bedlam party. The OSU/OU game is a big deal. As my

husband says, OSU is the Rodney Dangerfield of football.... We just can't get any respect. We may not have gotten any respect Saturday but one thing for sure is we kicked some OU Sooner butt in a big way. Yes, I understand that OU has won Bedlam more times than OSU but we're living in the present people, and in the here and now, we are good! It was late when we got home from the football game so we slept in Sunday morning... That is we slept in until Sunday afternoon. It felt so good not to need to get up and have to be anywhere at any certain time. Later in the afternoon, I pulled out my walking shoes, harnessed up the horse

and headed out for our 2.5 hour walk. After the walk I threw in a little grocery shopping, dinner making and then bath taking to wrap up a weekend that was absolutely more full than empty... It's a very good feeling.

You Can Lead a Horse to Water.....

2011-11-28T13:45:00.003-06:00

This is a frolicking horse

My daughter and I love all of God's furry critters. We play hide and seek with our cats, fetch with our dogs and believe anything with a fur-like substance should be petted and cooed over. We've had all manner of critters over the years, a pet pig, rabbits, ferrets, lizards, fish, birds, cats and lots of dogs. When she moved back to Oklahoma, being around the family pets was as big a treat to her as being around the family. My brother raises horses, so she was excited to spend Thanksgiving at his place. She has been wanting to go riding, so she asked him about it a few weeks ago. He raises horses, but doesn't necessarily ride his horses and much to her dismay he doesn't "play" with his horses either (I know, it seems almost inhuman not to play with your pet), but then again, they're really not pets. See, I have a hard time understanding this too. It's the same with people who have hunting dogs but they don't play with them, they're considered tools (like a DeWalt electric drill), or insert quote from the Tom Hanks movie "Big".... Josh (Tom Hanks) is shown a new toy that his employers are working on. It's an immobile skyscraper that turns into a giant robot. "So what's so fun about playing with a building? That's not any fun!" What's fun about having horses if you can't play and frolick with them? I didn't specifically ask him about frolicking, but I will. Thanksgiving day my daughter brought two large bags of carrots and apples.... "To feed to the horses!" As we tromped through the mud to get to the horses my brother explained that his horses had never seen a carrot or an apple and probably wouldn't be too keen on eating either. We weren't deterred by his negative thinking, hey, they were horses weren't they? They came to the fence and in spite of our determination they weren't interested in our

offerings. Seriously, have they not seen "Mr. Ed?" My brother came lugging buckets of horse feed and told us to try the feed instead. Sure enough, lickety split, they nibbled it right out of our hands and headed to the trough for more as he poured it in. I guess it just goes to prove that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it eat a carrot if it doesn't want to... And apparently they also don't talk :-(

Warm and Fuzzy

2011-11-22T14:31:00.000-06:00

I just couldn't help myself this morning(I have that problem a lot), I just wanted to listen to Christmas music. I tried to put it off until after Thanksgiving, but with the cool damp weather, it just seemed like Christmas music kind of time. I love the old scratchy Dean Martin, Bing Crosby music, it just sounds right. Even if I'm not snuggled up on the couch, or sitting in front of a fire place, Christmas music makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Cokernut Pie!!! Tis the Best

2011-11-21T20:29:00.001-06:00

Looks pretty huh? Yeah, it's not the one I made :-)

Have you ever done something knowing you shouldn't do it? Knowing that you would reap what you sowed for years on end... Yet you went ahead and committed the act? That's me tonight. I just had to have a coconut pie (pronounced cokernut, which drives my daughter crazy, but I'm more redneck than I admit to so my bad). I got the recipe from a lady who makes the best cokernut pie ever, hands down, because I don't even like cokernut. I even made the crust which always ends up looking like the quilt made of human skin on Silence of the Lambs. I have a Suzy Homemaker cousin who could make a pie crust in her sleep that would win awards, but I just didn't get that gene. Instead, I combine my sewing skills (which are nil) with my baking skills, which aren't pretty but they'll do in a pinch and this is the result of my talent... A crust that looks like it's been formed from the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. The reason I shouldn't be making cokernut pies isn't just because of my haphazard crusts, it's because my family isn't exactly sweet eating machines. My husband will eat chocolate cake but that's so ordinary. Plus, the last time I got on a pie kick I gained 15lbs which sadly, to this day, still hangs limply on either side of my hips. But, it's the holidays. It's the holly, jolly, jiggly, wiggly holidays and by gosh I plan on jiggling and wiggling with the best of em.... Just me and my cokernut pies.

Gentle Touch

2011-11-17T09:20:00.001-06:00

How many times have I felt like this little deer that was literally caught in the headlights? I've stood in the highway of life before, completely paralyzed with fear and shock. Times like those I'm thankful for the gentle touch of the Master or one of the Master's helpers that come up beside me, gently lift me up to deposit me out of harms way. The video perfectly depicts those times in my life where I was just grateful for a gentle loving touch.

You Have the Most AMAZING.....

2011-11-16T11:01:00.001-06:00

God has a reason for everything he does. Some people (apparently that would be me) couldn't handle wealth and so he allows them to be poor. Some people couldn't handle fame so he allows them to be obscure. I've always said that God didn't make me a size 0 and beautiful because I couldn't handle it. It's absolutely true! Unless you consider shoe shopping and party planning a talent, I'm a Jac (get that?) of all trades and the master of nothing... Until a few weeks ago when I received a phone call from the Oklahoma Blood Institute. The nurse told me the last time I gave blood they noticed I had an amazing platelet count and wanted to know if I would consider donating platelets. Being the goodhearted, civic minded person I am, I thought that sounded like a swell idea. I showed up last night for my first platelet donation and the nurse that checked me in commented on how AMAZING my platelets were. I'm kind a shy when it comes to accepting a compliment and gave her the ole' "You probably say that to all the donors" look. When they got me settled into my recliner (great way to spend a Tuesday night!), the two nurses hooking me up to the machine, were both bragging on my AMAZING platelets. It was getting down right awkward and I could actually feel my head begin to swell from the pride. See! This is exactly why I'm not a size 0! I can't wait to schedule my next donation. I'm terribly afraid that God is going to humble me by zapping my AMAZING platelets and turning them into mediocre ones that no one wants. If that happens I'll be nothing more than a girl with a lot of shoes who knows how to throw a great party. Right now I am all that with amazing platelets to boot.

Things are a-Changin'

2011-11-14T13:16:00.000-06:00

This summer I would have said Fall was going to be a colorless season this year. The record breaking heat wave of 2011 made everything a dry, drab canvas. It's simply amazing what cooler temperatures and a little rain can do. The yards have filled up with clover, trees thought dead have come back to life. Flowers that I thought were too far gone, have come back bolder and brighter than when I bought them this Spring. The view outside my office window is spectacular. Just when I thought things were going to be dreary forever, color rained down on me and I realized things are a-changing.... In more ways than one.

We Have it All, Shake, Rattle & Roll

2011-11-08T08:27:00.002-06:00

This weekend Oklahoma wasn't notorious for it's wind... Well, no more than usual. We didn't set any record breaking lows, because we did that in the beginning of the year (-31 in Nowata). We didn't break our scorching heat of this summer (115). No, this weekend was relatively mild and uneventful except for the earthquakes (yes that would be multiple). The largest of which was 5.6 which shook us up and rattled our

cages. There's just never a dull moment around these plains. My initial thought was it was just the Sooner fans jaws dropping as they realized the Cowboys had just moved to the #2 spot in football while they remained #6. Then I realized that part of it was probably due the the magnitude of the angels doing the happy dance for the underdog. Whatever the cause, it rocked our house, rattled our mirrors and made me feel all funny inside. I chalked it up to another experience checked off my bucket list. Yesterday things were back to normal, tornadoes, flooding, that kind of thing. We had an aftershock last night (I guess that's what it was), but I didn't worry enough to get out of bed to find out how big it was. Like everything else in Oklahoma.... After a while it just gets boring. My brother posted on Facebook, all we needed now was a hurricane and volcano and we'd pretty much have all of the bases covered. If you feel like you're missing something, just move to Oklahoma where you can have it all.

There! Satisfied?

2011-11-03T11:05:00.001-05:00

Tired of all of the Sooner fans whining because I hadn't posted their new ranking for this week.... Hey, I've been busy! So, here it is your new rating came up from last week. Satisfied? Yea, I didn't think so. Rumor has it ya'll are a lil worried about Bedlam this year :-)

Moments later a revision was done.... Guess it really wasn't good enough.

Fuzzy Socks

2011-11-03T07:50:00.000-05:00

What is it about watching the blue skies of a cold front blow in that makes me feel warm all over? Maybe it's the anticipation of snuggling, cuddling and fuzzy socks. Yep, that must be it :-)

Sets My World Right

2011-11-02T12:31:00.000-05:00

Memories of defining moments wrap around my heart today. Upon remembrance, a mixture of comfort and terror sweep over me as I view the ever changing tide of life. Questions of how I made it through and what will tomorrow bring assault my mind. Amid the questions a deep peace shrouds my heart. Life is such a contradiction of emotion; the moment you have it all figured out, everything changes. The unconditional nature of your love substains me, settles my mind and quiets my soul. It amazes me what one look, one touch or one word from you will do... It sets my world right again.

The Perfect Solution

2011-10-31T08:14:00.001-05:00

When we were walking out of church yesterday, I heard two different people comment on how cold it was in the sanctuary. One lady said she was going to start bringing a blanket to church. I understood the feeling oh too well, not because I was cold yesterday, but because I used to be cold all of the time. For years I dealt with ice cold fingers that would turn dark blue or lose all color until they turned dead white. I used to work in fingerless gloves that held a hand warmer in the palm. I used to carry hand warmers in my purse all the time, I was just miserable. The doctors said it was Reynard's syndrome and there wasn't anything to help with it outside of what I was already doing. Little did they know that they were wrong. The perfect solution to my problem was flinging myself backwards into a 9 foot concret hole and knocking myself unconscious. Since my drop into the rabbit hole, no more blue fingers and no more being miserably cold all of the time. If you mention to me that it's cold in the room, I might stop and realize it is, but left to my own, I simply don't notice. It may not sound like a big deal, but my husband is completely amazed at the transformation. It's hard to enjoy yourself when you are shivering from the cold and turning blue. I feel like I should include the following warning if you suffer from the same problem. Do not attempt this at home or alone. The solution was purely accidental and was darn near deadly, but I sure am enjoying the outcome.

Baby Whaley! What More Could You Ask For?

2011-10-30T16:28:00.000-05:00

The Girlfriends and I have raised our kids together and now we are beginning toward the path of raising our grandchildren together. Hang on girls, this is gonna be a fun ride. Today we had the first of what I hope will be many baby showers to come for The Girlfriends. The Mother-to-be was very patient with us as we ooh'd and goo'd over her

buldging belly, swapped baby weight stories and did all the things mothers tend to do when they gather together to celebrate the anticipated birth of a new little one. I see a time in my future when I won't have to borrow other peoples children to take to the latest

Disney movie, play in the park, or admire the Halloween costume of some strangers kid. We had a blast looking at the cute little baby socks, the new gadgets they make and the old true and steady must-haves in child rearing. We dined on strawberry and chocolate cake, fruit, veggies and fancy sandwiches. The best part of it all, was feasting on the love we felt for one another and the sheer excitment of knowing there is another journey ahead and we all get to travel together!! What more could you ask for? Welcome to our world Baby Whaley!

Rivalry Wall/The Time is Now

2011-10-26T14:49:00.000-05:00

It started out harmless enough. I work in an office full of OU fans. When I first started, there were only a handful of OSU fans and we were a quiet bunch…. Well, they were a quiet bunch. I think it started out with me putting an OSU item in someone’s office to see how long it took till they noticed it. Then an OU bear showed up in my office. I sat the bear on my cubical wall facing the conference room. The OU bear had a “Touch Me” sign on his belly and when you touched it, the OU fight song bounced off the walls. On a daily basis, certain OU fans would sneak up and push the button (gag me with a spoon). I did a little Internet shopping (imagine that) and found an OSU cowboy that could sing as well. When my Cowboy arrived, I

took both him and the little bear home for some handy work. As my husband and I watched T.V. that night, I dismantled both items…..

Mike: Didn’t you just get that in the mail today?

Me: Yep

Mike: Why are you ripping it apart?

Me: Because I’m tired of listening to the OU song. I’m ripping out the OSU music box and putting it in the OU bear so the next time someone sneaks up to push his button, they will get the OSU song instead! GENIUS!

I carefully exchanged the music box, sewed everyone together again (much like Humpty Dumpty) and sat them beside each other on the wall. Well, I take that back, I think my Cowboy was dangling the

bear over the wall by his heels, but you get the picture. A few weeks ago, little bear was brought up to sit beside Cowboy. Somewhere along the way another OU bear joined the club and they are all sitting like birds on a wire, holding hands and playing nice. After the loss to Texas Tech this weekend I felt lead (it was almost a spiritual thing) to put the current BCS rankings on them. I came in Tuesday morning and found someone (no one will take credit) decided to put OU vs. OSU stats underneath them. I

understand their pain only too well. I thought OU fans needed some encouragement so I put some (timely) quotes next to the stats. There comes a point in everyone’s life where you just have to let go of the past and embrace the present. As a Cowboy fan, the time would be now.Oh, I know it's dangerous to count your chickens before they hatch, but this ain't chickens, it's football and I don't get braggin rights often.

Family Reunion

2011-10-25T14:27:00.000-05:00

Unconditional Love

2011-10-21T13:00:00.001-05:00

I love my dogs because they love me unconditionally. They take me as I am, all of my faults, failures and imperfections mean nothing to them because they love all of me.

You could snap pictures all day long and never get one good shot of Riley. The only way to get a good picture of her is to take it when she is sleeping. She is just like a Wilda beast that's house trained. She loves to wrestle, but beware... She can cross over to the dark side in a New York minute. The reason I got Sailor was because I needed something to drain some her energy. The idea worked quite well, especially when Sailor got to where she out weighed her by 100lbs. Aja shares my love for animals. When this first picture was taken Aja was getting Riley wound up. When Sailor perceived Riley was crossing to the dark side she started to jump in to defend Aja. Mike caught Sailor just in the nick of time. We weren't interest in having a giant dog fight in the kitchen.

Sailor is just as calm as Riley is hyper. She is sweet through and through. Catching ice cubes happens to be her special talent.

One of my favorite things to do is to sit on the front porch with the dogs. We love to and watch leaves blow by, or watch it rain (haven't gotten to do that in a while).

After playing with the dogs, You're just plain dog tired.

Name That Thang

2011-10-20T14:50:00.000-05:00

Earlier in the week (who remembers what day), I walked out to the parking lot at work and noticed that someone had drawn something on the rear passengers side window. I cocked my head to one side, cocked my head to the other side and for the life of me I couldn't really determine exactly what it was suppose to represent. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I wondered if it was an obscene drawing, but since I couldn't really tell what it was I figured no one else would either. I made a mental note to self to wash it off when I got home. No big deal, probably just some silly kids. As the week wore on, I completely forgot about it. It was safely tucked into the La La Land files of my blonder than I pay to be memory (it's a very happy place to be). Last night we drove to the City to have dinner with the kids to celebrate the 17th birthday of my baby boy. On the way to the City my husband asked me what was on the back window. "I dunno, someone drew on my window with shoe polish." I told him. He wanted to know what it said, and I told him it didn't say anything,just a random drawing... Case closed. When it was time to leave my daughter's apartment, she walked us out to the car. It was a beautiful fall night, just a tad on the nippy side. As we walked up to the car she asked.... "Mom, what's that on your car?" I told her the same thing I told my husband. When we got up to the car I said... "I don't even know what it's suppose to be." As the three of them tilted their heads sideways, stared for a moment then all three exclaimed.... "OMG!!! Mother you have to get that off!" I said okay, "Why, what's it suppose to be?" When they told me, I guess it made a little more sense, but really it wasn't a very detailed drawing. Yeah, if you thought about it and looked at it long enough I guess you'd say it was inappropriate. I told them I'd wash the car tomorrow. "No! You can't drive around with that on your car! I'll go get something and take it off right now." My husband stared at me like I had intentionally been driving around with porn on my windows, my 17 acted like he wished the ground would just swallow him whole. Seriously.... At the speeds I drive and the way I zip in and out of traffic it's unlikely anyone would get enough of a glimpse to know what they were looking at. As for my family, if this were an ink blot test, I think a professional would say they have some serious repressed issues. Me? If this was a test, I'm pretty sure I flunked. I've just never been great at test taking, especially the "Name That Thang" kind.

2011-10-20T08:36:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday

2011-10-19T08:22:00.000-05:00

Awe, my baby boy turns 17 today. He never seems very interested in his Birth Story, probably because it was just a stop, drop and he rolled right out kind of tale. My Mom and Dad had moved to Duncan by the time he came along and Mom got to be in the delivery room. Nana practically knocked the doctors and the nurses over in order to get her first up close and personal peek at her baby. The nurse finally had to move her aside so they could do all the things they do to babies which always seems unnecessarily harsh from a Mother's prospective.He was easy from the get-go. His sister and brother tell him he's the perfect child, and truly there never was an easier child to take care of. I think God knew it was best to save the easiest for last. Gosh I miss the days I used to cuddle him in my arms... Happy Birthday Caby Baby... Momma loves you! (See I put the Caby Baby at the very bottom of the blog and you know that your friends won't read this far and see my nick name for you.)

Lurking in the Shadows

2011-10-17T21:57:00.000-05:00

Last night I grabbed my Mastiff and we headed out for our nightly walk. I had my ear buds in and we were enjoying the wonderful weather. Sailor is the best walker. I can walk her without a leash and she stays right by my side. I usually walk at night and I feel much safer with my 175lb dog beside me. Last night we were just a few blocks from home when I spotted a couple in their front yard. We continued at our normal pace and proceeded in front of their house. Their two weenie dogs took after Sailor like a pack of hounds. She tucked her tail as far under her body as it would go and made like a Kangaroo, bouncing in circles trying to protect her nether regions from getting a unwanted nip/tuck. The owners of the dogs were running around in circles trying to capture the two little yappers. I tried to continue on in a relaxed manner just like I've seen on The Dog Whisperer. Maybe I'm watching the wrong show, maybe I should be watching the Horse Whisperer instead because my calm assertive

behavior wasn't doing a thing to protect her nether regions nor did it seem to effect the two yappers or their owners. Finally we stopped and they managed to get the yappers under control. Tonight on our walk, the wind was howling and leaves were scattering across the streets. She jumped at every shadow, every blowing leaf. She kept looking back at her nether regions to make sure everything was intact. I'm not sure what good it does me to have a 175lb scardy cat that's afraid of the dark. She needs to Man UP and quit acting like a purse dog. I may have to start packing pepper spray in order to protect her from the unseen danger lurking in the shadows. What a big chicken!

Technology Revolution is Here!

2011-10-16T22:39:00.000-05:00

I was raised in a very rigid church. It's standards were high and it's pews were mostly empty. It viewed progressing as watering down your beliefs to suit the world. When my husband and I began going to our current church, it was a welcomed relief from the church of my childhood. I'm grateful for my spiritual past, but I believe in order to reach others, we have to be relevant to the present. Our church is constantly looking for new ways to stay relevant. A church that isn't growing and changing, is a church that is dying. The bad thing about change, is sometimes it's hard to wrap your mind around. I think that is especially true the older you get. It's easy to stay with the familiar and let the comfort of the usual wrap around you like a warm blanket until you have been lulled into a sound sleep like an infant. Our church doesn't give you that opportunity. We are moving, growing, building, changing, evolving and even when that is a difficult thing, it's a good thing. This morning I walked into the lobby of the church and got ready to take my place at the welcome desk. A mammoth monstrosity stood across the desk. At first I couldn't make

out what "the thing" was (it looked like the monolith from 2001 Space Odyssey), but when I got closer I realized it was a ATM giving machine (mainly because it said giving on the outside). I just had to laugh, because it made me feel so dated, yet it made perfect sense. Neither of my oldest children use checks, or cash for that matter. All of their purchases are made with debit cards. So it makes perfect sense to have an ATM giving machine in the church lobby so the younger people will be able to give in the way that they are comfortable with. I was talking to a gentleman at church about the machine. He was from a similar background as me. I made that statement that my old church would have never had an ATM machine in the building because they would say that is was a mark of the beast, or just plain evil. When I said that he died laughing because he could relate to that type of thinking. It was a reveiling Sunday for me. I took pictures of the ATM machine and settled into my place behind the desk. Before Sunday School began a gentleman came up to the desk and asked if I knew the Wi-Fi password so he could download his bible onto his tablet. I can relate to that because I love using my Kindle (or did until I got a phone that doesn't support the software). Then a woman asked me for my email address so she could email me the minutes of the last mission meeting. We're so current, so with-it, so hip, it's just weird. We're not as current as some churches. The church my son goes to has serve your self communion tables set up (something about that is just hysterical to me, in a very reverent way of course). Our church originated from a small town of 1,500-2,000 people. We probably run close to 800 or so on Sunday mornings. The reason we've continued to grow, is because we've continued to reach out to others in a way in which they can relate. I know for a fact that change is difficult. Sometimes change is like a dull ache in the very core of your bones, much like when you were growing up... But it has to happen. I'm officially seeing a time in the future where I can tell my grandchildren the old time stories of passing an actual offering plate and carrying a Bible to church that was in book form. These stories makes me feel so..... OLD!! One thing I'll be add to make the stories more tolerable is I did these things back then in really cute shoes. A little embellishment makes the whole thing easier to swallow :-)

Don't Ask Me Questions!!!

2011-10-15T10:39:00.000-05:00

Be forewarned... Stepping up to the soap box now. There are things that people do every day that should be simple until someone else gets a bright idea and screws it up so it's no longer simple. For example, copy machines. When I go to make a copy, I just want a copy... I don't want to be asked a bunch of questions about it. This is when someone gets hurt, usually the copier. I went to make a copy yesterday, just a simple copy. Of course the copy gremlins who live in the copier, poked their heads out and said.... "Oh, it's Jac, let's mess with her." Really!? I'm all jacked up on Starbucks and you want to turn a simple task into madness on a Friday afternoon? No paper in the copier, no paper in the copy room. I trek back to my office, get paper and pull out what seemed like 15 drawers before I found the legal drawer. I filled the drawer with legal paper and shut the door. Simple, just a simple thing in office world. Then the little screen thingy lights up wanting to know if I wanted to accept the changes that were made??? Blah, Blah, Blah. My ADD prevents me from carefully reading all of the questions, so I just start hitting the most likely answers available. Which is exactly what I used to do in school when we had to take test that were multiple choice, the ones where you had to Carefully color in the little circle with your pencil. I was always terrified I was going to get outside the lines and the machine would spit my test out and send it to my teacher telling her I was just too stupid to be helped. There's actually a mental picture of a machine spitting my paper out with smoke shooting out it's orifices (welcome to my somewhat twisted world). Copiers used to be simple... They either copied or they didn't, they didn't give you multiple choice questions to answer every time you used them. On my way back to my office I stopped by I.T. to rant just a little (he always smiles when he sees me coming and he usually asks me "What have you done now"). I told him how much I hated machines asking me questions. Come to find out, he feels exactly the same way... JUST MAKE THE COPY! Just because it's technically possible to make copiers that are smarter than the people using them, doesn't mean it's a good idea. Just keep it simple!

Easy to Please

2011-10-14T13:23:00.000-05:00

I used to feel bad about my lack of cell phone patience, I don't any more. I put getting a new cell phone right up there with root canals and pap smears, there are just A LOT of things I'd rather be doing than cell phone shopping (shoes, shoes, shoes). I tend to pick my cell phones out the same way I pick out my favorite football teams... By color schemes. Last time I got a new cell phone I didn't have the option of being choosy. I shattered the screen on my old one and my replacement service gave me what they wanted me to have, indestructible sans attractiveness. I hated that phone the minute I turned it on. The phone was a touch screen and my fingers were too fat to text anything correctly. I started having pretty bad body image issues shortly after receiving it in the mail. When it began freezing up more often than not, I decided to take it in to see if it could be fixed. My conversation went like this....

Me: My phone freezes up like every 2 seconds and I thought I'd see if you could fix it before I pound it into pieces.

Cell Phone Guy: Let me take a look at it

I hand it to him. He begins trying to punch the buttons but nothing happens, just.... nothing.

Cell Phone Guy: Oh yeah, I see what you're talking about, you must get really frustrated if it does this all day.

Me: Yeah, my doctor put me on Prozac.

Cell Phone Guy: Well this phone had so many kinks that they just scraped the phone. You're probably going to want to get a new one.

Me: Okay, I'll take that one, the one with the actual buttons.

Cell Phone Guy: You want to play with the new touch screen? It's way easier than the one you have.

Me: No, I just want this one, the one with buttons, I like buttons.

Cell Phone Guy: Well if you're sure about it...

Probably the easiest sale he's ever had. So he sets my phone up and sends me out of the door. I'm a happy little camper because I have buttons to push and a pretty little purple plaid cover.... I'm a girl who likes to push buttons. The next day I go back because I have some questions. The guy from yesterday wasn't there so I waited in line for someone to help me. The guy behind the counter was helping a family with a new phone. He was explaining to them that they had 14 days to return the phone. If it didn't work, they could bring it back for one that did. If they brought it back because they didn't like it, or because it didn't match their shoes then there would be a $35.00 restocking fee. When the next representative asked if he could help me I said...

Me:Yes, I bought this phone yesterday and it doesn't match the shoes I'm wearing today so I'd like to return it.

The cell phone guy just looked at me with his jaw hanging. Try as he might, he just couldn't find a response to that so he looked at the other cell phone guy who looked at me and asked what I needed.

Me: Hmm, I bought this phone yesterday and it doesn't match the shoes I'm wearing today so I'd like to return it.

He looked at the family he was helping who was looking at me, then he turned back to me and said.

Cell Phone Guy: Did you just hear what I told these people?

The man he was helping started to laugh and said.... "I think that's why she said it." Note to self, people who work in cell phone stores probably aren't used to dealing with frustrated yet pleasant people. When they realized I was joking (and not totally a nut case) they relaxed. That's when they realized something a lot of people just do not get about me.... I'm really easy to please. Hey! I AM.

Petro Gizmo's & Gadgets

2011-10-11T21:25:00.000-05:00

It doesn't happen often, but every now and then our office takes a oilfield field trip. It's nice for the girls in the office to get a chance to see the actual procedures that go into the reports and numbers we post in the computer each month. It's also nice to get out of the office of a while :-) Each year a Petroleum Expo is held in the City. The engineers usually go and occasionally they will take some of the girls. Until this year I had never been. Whoever goes most often brings me back a pen or a cap. The first year I got a "Save Our Strippers" bumper sticker. I had only worked in the office a couple of months when the bumper sticker was given to me. I figured, but wasn't absolutely certain the sticker had an oilfield meaning and finally I mustered up the courage to ask him about it. I was quickly put at ease when he assured me it was referring to "Stripper Wells" not just strippers in general. Although I would agree with the later... Strippers need saving just as much as non-strippers need saving... All God's children (clothed and unclothed) need God's love. LOL! This year my ticket came up and I got to go to the Petro Expo along with a couple of guys from the office. It is held at the fair grounds (the same place where Affair of the Heart comes each year), but it is way less frilly than The Affair of the Heart. When we came to the end of the Expo, my boss wanted to know if there was anything I wanted to go back and look at.... Nope, I was good, a little disappointed that they didn't have a shoe department but I guess that's Oilfield for ya. Much to our surprise a picture of us showed up in the Daily Oklahoman. As you can see we are intently interested the new and improved gizmo's and gadgets. It still would have been better if they would have had a shoe section.

What Defines My Monday?

2011-10-10T15:00:00.000-05:00

What defines my Monday? Here it is... When I wear my prissy black skirt to the office only to have a male co-worker point out later in the morning (pointing with one hand and other hand kind of covering his mouth, probably to stifle the laughter).... "Uh, hmm, turn around... You have a, no other side, uh, turn around....Uh, right there!" Basically I'm turning in circles much like a dog chases it's tail, looking for something that he can't seem to spit out because... Well, it's on my butt. Of course I discover it's a big white fur ball located in the least desirable of areas. It's easy to say there is a great possibility that the day will continue to decline, but I could be wrong. Hey! It could happen.

I Just Love Saying "Great Job!!!!!"

2011-10-09T19:42:00.000-05:00

Sadly we live in an entitlement society. We've become complacent to mediocre, it's just the norm now. The only way we can make a difference is to be the difference and to demand businesses provide a different standard than the norm. When I buy groceries I've learned that I have plenty of time to read my kindle or a handy magazine, update my calender and send out a hello or two via text massaging. When it's my turn to check out, I've learned that I have plenty of time to organize my groceries on the conveyor belt in a very un-Jac like OCD manner. Why do I have so much time on my hands while standing in the check out? Usually because whoever is doing the checking, is in no hurry to get the job done in order to help the next person and get them out the door. Maybe I'm just in too big of a hurry, but I've always believed time is money, whether it was mine or someone else's. Yep, I've done my share of complaining. I've written letters to corporate offices about bad service and sub-par merchandise. In the last few years, I've completely changed tactics. I don't write complaint letters any more, I just read my kindle and send out my text messages and wait, wait, wait. On the rare occasion that I am pleasantly surprised by someones amazing amount of work ethic, I write down the date, time, name and check out lane where I experienced my pleasant surprise. I tell whoever is helping me that they have done a GREAT job and that I will be sure to let the management know how pleased I am with the service they have provided and the manner in which they provided it. When I get home I google the business, go to "Contact Us" and write a flowering email of praise, giving as much positive information I can about the person who provided the pleasant experience. Sometimes I even call the management personally (that usually shocks their socks off). I know (from my shopping experience) every business probably receives 1000 times more complaints than they ever do compliments. It's my calculation that an email praising a specific person for a job well done, might, just might encourage businesses to offer rewards to exceptional workers, even if it's nothing more than recognition. In my heart I believe it shouldn't take an incentive get someone to have a strong work ethic, but this is a different day, different society. I really do love the look on someones face when I tell them.... "You've done a great, fast, friendly job and I'm going to let your manager know." It usually seems like it's as much of a surprise to them to hear that as it is to me to get to say it and really mean it. Great Job!!!!

On a Positive Note

2011-10-07T11:00:00.002-05:00

I woke up this morning with puffy eyes,bad hair and a general feeling of blahness. Other than those minor annoyances, I'm a happy little camper... I'm totally glad it's casual Friday and thankful for the cup of Starbucks that pumps through my veins (although I'll have to say it might be a little better if I could just mainline the stuff on days like today). The better news is, rain is in the forecast tomorrow. I'm praying the "No Rain Dome" that has been looming over Stephens County will be removed so we can all get a good soaking. Happy Friday, that's what I'm sayin.

Frumpinit

2011-10-05T13:20:00.001-05:00

My footwear says everything about the way I'm feeling

This morning I woke up feeling like I had an up close and personal encounter with a vampire last night and it had sucked every speck of energy out of me(Is it possible to feel both bloated and drained?). Yea, totally not as glamorous as the movies and romantic novels make it out to be. Not only was I lucky to drag my butt to work, I certainly didn't feel like dressing up in "Toddlers and Tiaras" fashion. I grabbed my jeans, threw on a loose shirt and donned my Tom's in lieu of my stilettos. I swear if I could have gotten away with wearing my pj's I would have. I have a friend who works upstairs that becomes severely concerned when I wear flats... "It's just not you!" So, I posted a wardrobe alert on her facebook page... "I'm totally "Frumpinit" today"... Sure enough,even with a posted alert she meandered by just to witness for herself how bad of shape I was in.... "Gosh! I can't believe you even OWN a pair those shoes!" You just don't get any more flat than Toms. Ugh! Except when I'm padding around the house (I do love naked feet), my footwear says everything about how I'm feeling inside. Today I'm frumpinit. Hopefully tomorrow will be a high heel kind of day.....

"Be Sweet"

2011-09-29T11:12:00.001-05:00

I have always told my kids... "Be Sweet" when I dropped them off at school or when they left to spend the night with a friend. I think all parents want their children to represent them well when they are out of eye shot. A Momma can always give a kid the eye that says 10 times more than anything a man could say with words, but when you're not there.... You just have to keep your fingers crossed and stay close to the phone just in case. So "Be Sweet" has been my official warning, along with "Make good choices". Earlier in the week I took my little Sailor to the doctor. I knew that they would probably have to dope her up before they began her treatment and flashbacks of when she had her wisdom teeth kept running through my head. My husband was bringing her home and she was totally looped out from the medication. He was guiding her up the front steps when the front

door opened. The lady who cleaned the house was there and had seen him walking up the steps. My daughter took one look at her and said... "I don't like you.... You're fired!" with the slurred speech of a drunken sailor. My husband (a man of few words) just smiled and rolled his eyes as he turned her in the direction of her room. So, when the nurse called her back the other day, I stood up, gave my daughter a hug and said... "Be sweet." She just smiled and promised she would try. Later when they called us back, she was curled up on the bed. I sat in the chair beside her bed and began feeding her ice chips. She looked up at me with those sweet little eyes (like she was 8 instead of 28) and said... "Momma, I wasn't ugly." It took me a second to figure out what she was talking about and she must have seen my confusion because she said... "The nurses said I didn't act ugly, I was sweet." Awe, she's still Momma's sweet little girl! No matter where she goes or how old she grows, she will always be Momma's little girl.

Raccoon at My Window

2011-09-26T20:20:00.001-05:00

When I stumble into the bathroom in the morning, there is a masked face staring back at me, not in the mirror but in the window. The raccoon I was so intent on catching a glimpse of a few months ago, is now an ever present face watching me in the morning as I prepare for work as well as and in the evening when I prepare for bed. He's gotten used to us and doesn't even try to hide when we pop into the bathroom unexpectedly. This morning my Bulldog who is usually a Sleeping Beauty, wanted up bright and early at 5 a.m. I opened the back door and she charged out like a soldier on a mission. It was completely dark outside, I was still half asleep when she began ranting and raving in pure Bulldog fashion. I had just started to shut the door when I heard a deep growl that was eerily up close and

personal. I cracked the door back open, peeked out through sleepy eyes, when I saw a black mass standing 3 feet away on the banister surrounding our back porch. I closed the door again as I tried to will my brain to wake up. I peeked back out and tried to ascertain whether the black mass was a cat or something more sinister. I decided that if the black mass was a cat, then it had spent entirely too much time drinking whiskey and smoking too many cigarettes. Riley was all riled up and throwing such a hissie fit she couldn't (or wouldn't) hear me demand that she back away from the very pissed Raccoon. Sailor (English Mastiff) was more than happy to stand behind me in the kitchen as I yelled at Riley. The raccoon was too close for me to attempt to walk out on the porch to drag her in. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of pleading, Riley ran back in the house, huffing and puffing like she had single handedly put the hurt on an army of giants. I put everyone back in bed and decide it's way too early to be up in the first place so I go back to bed. Later in the morning when I told my husband about our early morning adventure, I could almost see his lip quiver as he bit back the words.... "I told you it wasn't a good idea to start feeding the raccoon."

We Celebrate!!!

2011-09-23T10:08:00.001-05:00

Today I celebrate Barb! The one with a million dollar megawatt smile, the giggle of a Playboy Playmate and the enthusiasm of a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. She is my workout partner, confidant, sounding board and my accountability partner. She is my friend because frankly she knows too much about me for me to allow otherwise. Most importantly today she is ANOTHER year older, therefore we celebrate! Happy Birthday Girlfriend!

Mountain Air

2011-09-22T16:46:00.001-05:00

Kind of a gloomy day today (inside and out). I thought about spinning out some dark, twisty, emotional poetry, but decided I'd let it simmer for a while. I will take my frustrations to the gym instead and hammer it out on a mountain climb. Mountain air mixed with sweat is so much more productive than the doom and gloom that can be conjured up with words. But they're in there, I promise they are, just begging to be released. Maybe another day but not today.

Have You Heard the Story of the Compulsive Shopper and The E-Geek ?

2011-09-20T10:02:00.001-05:00

Everybody has their own personal language. The well spoken person talks with calm precision and confidence. Pseudo experts recite facts they learned while staying at a Holiday Inn Express. Athletes reminisce about winning a race or game. Compulsive shoppers (:-) give you directions to the newest outlet mall (but they'd rather take you there in person). E-Geeks talk about drives, connections, routing and properties. Yep, every body speaks their own language but if you look hard enough you can usually find a common thread that transcends all language barriers. Such was the case with the Compulsive Shopper and the E-Geek.
Shopper to E-Geek...
"Every time I click on the little picture thingy on my computer a message box thingy comes on that says something like it the driver thingy can't be found."
E-Geek to Shopper...
"Now what have you done?"
Shopper to E-Geek...
"I didn't do anything! I just tried to click on the program and stuff just started popping up but my program thing won't pop up."
E-Geek to Shopper...
"Just re-boot your computer."
Shopper to E-Geek...
"Uh, I did re-boot my computer... I've been re-booting my computer for three months and it still won't open the program. I think something is wrong."
E-Geek to Shopper...
"Uh-huh, you've done something wrong, you can't just go re-booting the computer all the time."
Shopper to E-Geek
"Well, I was just doin what you told me to do. It's still not working."
E-Geek to Shopper...
"You got any food over there in your department?"
Shopper to E-Geek...
"I'd be happy to go buy some food if you think that would help."
E-Geek to Shopper
"Yeah, you'd better do that and when you get back I'll come over and take a look at what you've done wrong."
Shopper to E-Geek
"Really? You will? Great! I'll, Umm, I'll just go see if I can find some food. If I have food you will come look at my computer? Like for real, actually come to my desk and look at my computer?"
E-Geek to Shopper...
"Yeah, I'm really busy because the drive that your program is on is down and everyone is complaining because their computers are locking up. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with something you've done, but if you have food, I should be able to tear myself away from waiting on the UPS guy to bring me the new server that's suppose to be here next week and come over to your department to see what you got."
Shopper to E-Geek...
"Golly! That would be just great! Thank you so much!"

Tug the one simple common thread between people from different realms and great things can and will happen.

The Tapestry of a Beautiful Life

2011-09-15T08:09:00.001-05:00

Life has a way of throwing things at you that you simply cannot prepare yourself for. Unlike made for TV movies, fairy tales and soap opera's, we aren't handed a script when we are born. We can't edit out the parts we don't like, we can't go back and do re-takes and we can't flip to the back of the script to see if we want a different ending. Unlike Reality TV, life is real and we never know from one second to the next what the next breath will bring and sometimes the next breath takes your breath away. I've had a few moments that have hit me square in the gut. During the times I've found myself in the whirlwind of uncertainty, all I could do was throw myself at the foot of the cross and pray that somehow God would deliver me. Instead, he took me through the eye of the storm and let me tell you.... I did protest much! There have been times, I've felt like a small child throwing a temper tantrum, kicking and screaming and wanting it my way... The way I had planned it. God had a different plan. When the verdict comes in, grace takes over and in spite of how I behaved, God had a plan. It's easy to be tossed on a sea of guilt and shame of could have, would have, should have, but that doesn't change the past. Oh how I wish I could go back in time and handle life with more grace, more poise, more faith! Life really is a tapestry of the good, the bad and the ugly. One side of the masterpiece is a mass of knotted tangles where life intersects your dreams in an way that isn't always neat and tidy. On the other side of the tapestry you have the vignette of a beautiful life. Which side of the tapestry you choose to admire, is totally up to you.

I Feel Pretty

2011-09-12T07:57:00.001-05:00

She feels prettier than she looks

What do you get when you mix several months of 100+ weather, narry a drop of rain (not a real word but if Kate Gosselin can make up words than so can I), 175lb English Mastiff who likes to waller (yep, another made up word) a 60lb English Bulldog (much like one does a rubber ball) around the dirt in Oklahoma?? You guessed it, A Red Dirt Bulldog. When I got Riley, She had a perfect Mickey Mouse fawn outline on her white background. I nixed all Disney names and went with "Oh Riley!" because she tended to be a handful. That was a smart choice because as she has grown (out, not up) her little Mickey Mouse outline looks more like a Hydrocephalic Mickey Mouse. It reminds me what probably happens when a 20 year old girl who is a size 0 decides to get a sunburst tatoo surrounding her navel.... Three

kids and several pant sizes later, it probably doesn't resemble anything akin to a sunburst (not speaking from personal experience here). Last night was bath time and she was one red dirt mess. After towel drying her off, she zipped around the house at warp speed snorting like a rabid pig. My husband remarked that she sure was wound up! He doesn't speak Bulldog so I had to interpret... "Nope, she's just singing I Feel Pretty." "I feel pretty, Oh so pretty" Oh, wouldn't it be nice if every woman's body image could be cured by the simple act of taking a bubble bath.

Chain Reaction

2011-09-10T19:42:00.003-05:00

My husband left the house this morning with a kiss and instructions not to over do it so I'd feel like doing something fun when he got off work. I proceeded with my Saturday housecleaning routine. It all started innocent enough.... I just got the idea to move a piece of furniture which required me to move another piece of furniture and before I knew it and several hours later everything was in a different spot, my knees hurt and there was still a couple of areas I wasn't completely satisfied with. The thing about being an impulsive person is when you get a notion to do something, patience doesn't exactly come into play. Once I moved one piece of furniture, there was no way I was waiting until my husband got home to move everything else. The furniture we have now, isn't exactly light weight and when I took a notion to move a sofa chair upstairs, the only way to get it there

was to manhandle it. Thank God for old hardwood floors. It's easy to scooch furniture around from hither to yon without having to pick it up... mostly. Granted it takes a lot of pushing, pulling, tipping and pivoting, but it can be a one woman job if you're impatient enough and woman enough to do it. Yea, I fit that bill. I was lounging in our newly arranged living room when he walked in the door. He liked what I had done with the place and commented that he really liked the fact that I had done it when he wasn't home. When I grilled him as to why, he simply stated that I "got in a zone" when I was doing stuff like that and it made him nervous. I thought this was just his polite way of saying I was cranky or something, and I was totally prepared to defend myself. I may become focused and zoned, but I'm not cranky when I'm decorating (as long as you don't try to talk to me and

break my zone). Finally, after continued questioning he rephrased it and said I just became very driven when I'm doing something creative. I totally agree. This is why I prefer to fly solo on creative projects, my creative juices have a tendency overflow leaving others in a flood of confusion. I move, unmove, shift, flip and rotate until I get it right. I talk to myself, answer myself and reason things out loud. When other people are around they make the mistake of thinking I'm asking their opinion and Oh, that could not be farther from the truth. Anyway, there is a few minor tweaks that need to be done, but I'll be able to sleep on them tonight, it's not something I'm driven to finish today. It's just funny how moving one little thing to a different spot will start a chain reaction that leads to big, unexpected changes. There's something very satisfying about a chain reaction like that.

Labor Day Weekend

2011-09-06T12:23:00.000-05:00

The Labor Day weekend brought a much needed and appreciated cool front to Oklahoma. By cool front I mean it actually dropped below 100 degrees for the first time in 3 months. This has been the longest, hottest summer I can remember. This is one of those summers that people will say 40 years from now.... "Remember the summer of 11?" It actually felt a little weird being outside and not wanting to turn right around and run back to the house. I was able to take my dogs for a nice walk and enjoy a cool breeze. I've always loved Fall, but I'm looking forward to it more than usual. This summer has been just a tad claustrophobic for me and being outside in the wide open space is sounding mighty good.

Celebrated

2011-09-06T10:46:00.000-05:00

Oblivious

How you take things, just depends on your perspective.For instance, to celebrate the 50th birthday of my boss, we decorated the office with pictures from his past. I sneaked over to his house in the dead of night and posted "Honk at me I'm 50 today" on his pristine truck. My co-workers and I went to the daily yard meeting and surprised him with a breakfast pot-luck and a beautiful birthday cake. Later in the day he mentioned that he felt a little picked on. I had

People were extra friendly

to explain to him that he shouldn't feel picked on, he should just "feel the love":-) We hadn't picked on him all day, we had celebrated him all day... Wink, Wink. It would have just been rude to ignore him on such an important day. Okay, so maybe the OSU cake was a little bit of a dig, seeing how he is such a die hard OU fan, but, well... I just

Smile till it hurts

couldn't resist. In all of the celebrating that was done, I think the cake was the hardest bite to swallow. LOL! But, he did indeed swallow it in the best spirit of a good sport... (Which is so very unlike a Sooner).

Cooking a Cat, Yes! System Failure No!

2011-09-02T16:51:00.000-05:00

I was being so careful... Well, by my standards I was being careful, by others, not so much.I was playing in the makeup again, having a big ole time painting my nails. The bedroom looked like a paint ball factory had exploded. I was trying out my new gel nail polish system, my toes were wrapped in foil and all of my nail paraphernalia was strung out all over the bed and the bedroom floor. I had spread a towel over the bedspread just in case I spilled the acetone I was using. Did you know that acetone will eat through just about anything (except gel nail polish) in 3.5 milliseconds flat? It will! I have proof! Although I had put protective covering on the bed, I didn't think to use a stinking tarp or something over the bedroom furniture. Of course I accidentally dribbled a little bit of acetone on the night stand and wiped it up immediately... TOO LATE! Boy howdie, why I didn't use that stuff when we were removing the paint from the kitchen cabinets is beyond me. It's probably the best kept secret in the

restoration of old houses. If it's not, then it should be. The thing that really ticks me off (besides my inability to do anything without making a mess) is my bedroom furniture is pretty new. I went downstairs and Googled "How to Remove Acetone Stains From Wood?"... Yeah,it's going to require some sanding and stuff. I went back up to finish my toes and my husband comes in the bedroom, walks over to my of the bed and looks at the mess I've created on the floor(nail sparkles), looks at the nightstand, then looks at me. I just smiled, cause that's what I do. Then he tells me that he just happened to look at our Internet history and saw "How to Remove Acetone Stains From Wood" and figured that I had

another "Lucille Ball" moment. Stuff just happens! Today he emailed me and asked... "Lucille, were you cooking a cat when you were home at lunch?" Apparently I left my straightening iron on and it was smoking when he came home for lunch... Deep sigh. To

top my week off, our I.T. guy comes into my office today to try to figure out why every time I attempt to get into one particular program, it shuts down the HR system:-)"Oh, Jackie... What have you done now?" Hey! I'm happy to take the blame for something that I've screwed up (Lord, it seems like that in itself is a full time job), but I shouldn't have to take the blame for an entire system failure. I admit that I have a knack for.. uh, demolition work, but system failure is a whole other thing. I totally plead innocent of that charge.

Remarkable

2011-08-30T11:37:00.000-05:00

Saturday night was girls night out for me and the Girlfriends. You

would think with our kids mostly grown and gone, we would find it easier to spend time together, but actually it seems to have become more difficult. We do try to do dinner for our birthdays. As we ate and chattered through dinner I was just very thankful to have each and everyone of them in my life. When you start listing the life changes we have gone through together it is a remarkable list. Not all of the things we've been through have been happy, fun or exciting, but the important thing is... We've done it all together. It's been an interesting journey. I spoke with my daughter yesterday. She had spent the weekend in New Orleans with a friend. For kicks and giggles they got their palms read. When the fortune teller told her that she saw a wedding and a baby coming to her family within the next year, my daughter immediately thought of her extended family. One friend has a son getting married, and one friend is looking forward to her first grandchild. That's how much our friends mean to us, my kids actually consider them family without

hesitation. I would say that my very best parenting skill (and I'm not one who really brags about that) would be my desire to surround my children with people who can add to their lives in a positive way. People whose strengths far outweigh my weaknesses. I believe 100% that my relationships have shaped and molded my children every bit as much as their relationship with me and my husband. I have some remarkable kids because I have some remarkable friends.

Africa 2011

2011-08-19T11:16:00.000-05:00

Send Me Missions, Changing the World One Life at a Time

2011-08-19T08:26:00.000-05:00

My son just returned from his second mission trip to Africa. He is living a life that is poured out to others and dedicated solely to Christ.

Isaiah 53:12
Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

Genesis 21:18
Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation.”

Matthew 9:37
Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.

Genesis 27:28
May God give you heaven’s dew and earth’s richness— an abundance of grain and new wine.

Matthew 9:38
Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”

John 4:36
Even now the one who reaps draws a wage and harvests a crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together.

Jeremiah 31:4
I will build you up again, and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt. Again you will take up your timbrels and go out to dance with the joyful.

1 Chronicles 13:2

He then said to the whole assembly of Israel, “If it seems good to you and if it is the will of the LORD our God, let us send word far and wide to the rest of our people throughout the territories of Israel, and also to the priests and Levites who are with them in their towns and pasturelands, to come and join us

Ray of Hope Send Me Missions... Changing the world, one life at a time.

The Children of Africa

2011-08-18T07:52:00.000-05:00

There are no pictures of Africa that depict it's beauty more than the face of a child. I'd like to capture their cheeks in my hands as their faces have captured my heart.

Matthew 19:14
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

Mark 9:37
“Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.”

Luke 10:21
At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do.

Nehemiah 9:23
You made their children as numerous as the stars in the sky, and you brought them into the land that you told their parents to enter and possess.

Psalm 90:16
May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendor to their children.

Psalm 127:3
Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.

Proverbs 22:6
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Matthew 18:5
And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Luke 9:48
Then he said to them, “Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For it is the one who is least among you all who is the greatest.”

1 Thessalonians 5:5
You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness.

Revelation 21:7
Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children.

Ray of Hope Send Me Missions, Changing the World One Life at a Time

Out of Africa

2011-08-17T11:30:00.002-05:00

What is life like when you expand your borders, color outside the lines and live without fear? It's an amazing technicoloured world as the pictures my son took on his last mission trip to Africa show. It's hard to imagine walking among God's creatures with no boundaries in place..No fences, no wires.

Genesis 1:21
So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living thing with which the water teems and that moves about in it, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.

Genesis 1:24
And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.” And it was so.

Genesis 1:25
God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.

Daniel 4:22
Your Majesty, you are that tree! You have become great and strong; your greatness has grown until it reaches the sky, and your dominion extends to distant parts of the earth.

Daniel 4:3
How great are his signs, how mighty his wonders! His kingdom is an eternal kingdom; his dominion endures from generation to generation.

Psalm 23:2
He makes me lie down in green pastures

he leads me beside quiet waters,

Isaiah 43:20
The wild animals honor me, the jackals and the owls, because I provide water in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland, to give drink to my people, my chosen,

Deuteronomy 33:29
Blessed are you, Israel! Who is like you, a people saved by the LORD? He is your shield and helper and your glorious sword. Your enemies will cower before you, and you will tread on their heights.”

Deuteronomy 11:15
I will provide grass in the fields for your cattle, and you will eat and be
satisfied.

Psalm 36:6
Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, your justice like the great deep. You, LORD, preserve both people and animals.

Psalm 65:13
The meadows are covered with flocks and the valleys are mantled with grain; they shout for joy and sing.

Proverbs 7:15
So I came out to meet you; I looked for you and have found you!

Back to School Memories...

2011-08-11T11:20:00.002-05:00

After a long hot summer, today is the first day of school and as if on cue, the clouds rolled in and there is a cool breeze outside. There are plenty of long hot days left, but the beginning of school marks the downhill slide of summer. I asked my son as he was getting ready for school this morning, if he wanted me to follow him to school and get a picture of him in the parking lot and he just mumbled no and walked out of the room (Juniors have no sense of humor), I can't imagine him not wanting me to capture this moment in time. The first day of school brings back so many memories, the smell of freshly waxed floors... New books, new shoes, fresh notebook paper

and sharp crayolas. Someone posted the other day that you knew you were from Tulsa if your elementary school playground was concrete and you had to walk through an underground tunnel to cross 11th street (gosh, that scared the bejeezes out of me when I was late getting out of school). In Junior High, the fear of all things new which included riding the city bus to school instead of walking. High school was amazing! The freedom, the fun, it was great.

Will Rogers High School is on the National Registry of Historic Places as an extraordinary example of Art Deco architecture.Besides being an amazing building, it was a time when we were treated more as adults. The loosening of ridged restrictions like chewing gum or being able to bring a Coke to class, made us feel all grown up. Now I am all grown up.... No little hands to hold during that first day back. No lunches to pack or clothes to lay out. Just memories of back when....

Litter Box Cleaning - Eskimo Kisses = One Less Chore

2011-08-10T08:22:00.000-05:00

The one thing I dreaded about getting a cat was the whole litter box thing. There just isn't anything pleasant about keeping up a litter box. I'll have to admit, it hasn't been as bad as I remember... Seems like I hardly ever have to scoop it out and there hasn't been a lot of nasty litter box odor. It's been so hot, we've been keeping the pets indoors. The other day my Mastiff appeared in the hallway foaming at the mouth... Or at least I thought she was foaming at the mouth. For just a second I thought I had a 175lb rabid Mastiff on my hands, but apparently she had just been helping me with housecleaning chores by keeping on top of the litter box maintenance. I'm not sure whether I should be totally grossed out (which I totally am) or thankful for the thoughtfulness and help. It's hard to complain when you have one less chore to do. One thing I am sure of, I'll not be accepting anymore Eskimo kisses from my Sailor Girl.... She can just blow me kisses from across the room.

Life Inside the Cones

2011-08-09T08:08:00.000-05:00

It's so nice to be able to get my kids together now and have dinner or go see a movie together. I've missed having the whole family near. I'm especially glad my youngest is getting a chance to spend some time with his brother and sister. Now that he is driving, and they are living in the City, he will have all of the access he wants. He couldn't have better role models than his Bubba and Sissy. We were eating the other night and I had a wonderful idea. I suggested we plan a vacation to some island resort or something. Everyone agreed except my oldest son. He was all for planning a vacation, but not to a resort.His reasoning was... Resorts would be boring. My reasoning is resorts would be safe... "Mom! I want to take you someplace where you don't speak their language and they don't speak yours. I want to take you someplace where we have to fight off wild monkeys, and I don't want you to freak out about it." I just laugh as he says... "You can go ride these jet skis as much as you want. You just have to stay inside the cones, but you can ride all you want. What's fun about that?!" That's my life!!! I've always been a inside the cone kind of gal. There is a false sense of security inside the cones. I've always felt like bad things couldn't and wouldn't happen inside the cones, but then the sharks have a way of getting between the barriers and life happens. If life is going to happen one way or the other, maybe a venture outside the cones once in a while wouldn't hurt.

Partners in Crime

2011-08-08T08:47:00.000-05:00

When my daughter left home, my world just seemed all out of balance. Suddenly the power shifted from all things female, to testosterone driven movies and television. This last week, the world righted itself with the homecoming of Momma's girl. Friday night we drove up after work to help her unpack her stuff and get her apartment at least a little bit organized. The boys worked in the living room with all the electronic gadgets, she worked in the kitchen and I took the bedroom. It was certainly easy to see that she had been living in shopping heaven for the past 6 years. She had a drawer full of designed sunglasses, numerous designer handbags and several designer sweaters. She caught me trying on her sunglasses (actually picking out a pair for myself would be more accurate). I heard her tell the boys.... "Mom's not helping, she's just trying to steal my stuff." LOL! When she lived at home and it was my stuff, I believe it was called borrowing. It sure is nice to have my partner in crime back in visiting distance.

Happy Birthday Darling

2011-07-29T07:04:00.000-05:00

Time passes by...

In a swift rush of ways...

From bright, shining moments...

To calm everydays...

From cycles and seasons...

And moonlight and tides...

To milestones and memories...

A lifetime provides...

Yet the wide revolution...

Each year is made of...

Is small when compared...

To the time span of love...

You are my husband...

The love of my heart...

My cherished companion...

My true counterpart...

My past and my future...

My soul mate, my friend...

Now and forever...

Time without end...

I hope you have the best birthday ever Babe, because no one deserves it more than you. All my heart, all my love...

Childhood Memories of Bare Feet, Giggles and Momma's Fried Pies

2011-07-28T09:08:00.001-05:00

If you happen to be walking through our office during our break time, there is just no telling what snippets of conversation you may hear. Our conversations run the gamut from one extreme to the other. We've finally been able to convince our summer college student that has been helping out in the office, to join us for our breaks... She was making us look bad by working straight through. We've all become really fond of her as she is cute as a button. She's learned life lessons she never imagined this summer. I'm sure the images are seared in her brain for life, leaving mental images she will never be able to erase. LOL! Yesterday we were talking about food when someone mentioned fried pies. This is how young she is... She had never heard of fried pies. You know you can really block out the whole aging thing for a while until you come across someone too young to remember something like fried pies or who James Taylor is, then WHAM!!! It hits you in the face that those things are so far in the past kids don't even know them. Although if you ask me, your parenting style should be in question if your kids aren't intimately familiar with musical icons who could and still can actually carry a tune and play and instrument... IMO. (Rabbit Trail)Anyway this morning one of my co-workers materialized at may desk with two fried pies in hand. Awe!!!! How sweet is that? Apricot (my favorite) and Coconut (my second favorite). Oh, it was like falling back in time (as if I haven't done that before). I remember being a little girl. The women of the church met on

Thursdays to make fried pies. Women in their aprons, little kids running barefoot in Sister Stephenson's yard behind the church. We would play in the summer sun as the smell of fresh fried pies filled the air. Momma was always in charge of making the apricot filling, because that was my favorite. Oh, those were the good old days of ignorance and bliss, the good old days of childhood. I sat at my desk and moaned and groaned with yummy noises until every last bite of the apricot pie was gone. It's funny how just the smell or taste of something can bring back long forgotten memories.

What's Good About a Really Hot Summer?

2011-07-27T08:31:00.001-05:00

It's so freaking hot this summer!!!! We've had two months of way over 100+ weather with no end in sight. I'm thinking that summer was a bad time to try to knock off the caffeine... Heat + No Caffeine = Headaches and Grumpiness. Not a lot of grumpiness, just teetering on the edge grumpiness. The heat isn't the only thing severe about this summer. We've got a drought, there have been fires, it's just an extreme year. But just because it's extreme doesn't mean it's all bad. There are some good things about a really hot summer. Good can be found in every situation if you look hard enough.

What's Good About A Really Hot Summer?

1. The hot water heater gets a rest because the cold water is

hotter than the hot water

2. You don't have to mow the lawn, because there is no lawn to mow

3. If the electricity goes out frying an egg and some bacon on
the back porch is no problem

4. People don't complain if their plans gets rained out

There you go! There are the benefits to having a really hot summer. Don't sweat the heat! Hot, cold, wet, or dry, how good your summer turns out mainly depends on you :-)Beat the heat with positive thinking. Use your imagination to conjure up some snow capped mountains in your mind and embrace the summer.

The Facts of Life (Parental Guidance Suggested)

2011-07-22T14:36:00.001-05:00

I bit the bullet yesterday and went to a new doctor who runs.... Hang on to your panties..... A Menopause Clinic. I know, I know, but I just wanted to see what all the hoopla was over "Getting to that age." Every hangnail and muscle spasm I've had the last couple of years has been diagnosed by Pseudo Doctors as being part of "That Time of Life". My personal opinion is that women are just really hormonal nuts (from the beginning of time... Hello Eve!)and the older we get, the nuttier we get. The big bad phrase is used for anything we can't explain, comprehend or rationalize. Not that changes don't occur,but seriously!!! Must we throw that term out at every inexplicable thing we experience? Okay, I'm slowly--stepping--away--from--my--soapbox--rant (I just had a little... "That time of my life" moment there). Back to my Menopausal Clinic experience. The office was really very nice. I walked into a waiting room filled with women my age and older. It's like some kind of secret club or something. I checked in (not knowing the secret hand shake, I just use my name) and then I sat and tried to concentrate on reading my book instead of the many humiliating ways I was about to be violated. Finally I gave up because I was too nervous to read, so I looked around the room at the different women and secretly wondered about their stories. I was making a mental note to self to avoid Botox at any cost as one older lady had the whole perma-joker smile going on and WAY too many lip filler injections... Bad, bad, bad way to age, when they called me
back to do my Mammo(which I'm two years late on). The technician was a chipper little thing. I mean REALLY chipper and very animated. She just loved her job and as I pressed myself up to the cold machine, I nonchalantly looked around the room for hidden cameras, because I was pretty certain I was participating, (without my knowledge), in a Punked episode. She was seriously nice, but it was just like having a Lilly Tomlin character do your Mammo... But Lilly Tomlin doing a Mammo is way better than having the Grinch who stole Christmas doing your Mammo so I am in no way complaining,

just making mention that it was a little humorous (if having that done can be humorous).By the time the Mammo lady was done with me, we were old pals. I knew how old her son was, I knew a lot about his personality and now that I say that I just realize that... That sounds just like my Mother!!! She gets the personal scoop on everyone she meets... Back to the point. After the Mammo it's back out to the waiting room where more mental notes were taken, until they called me back to see the nurse. She gets the scoop on what's going on with "things" then she passes me off to a P.A.. The P.A. asked me questions that made me blush (kind of like when I was in elementary music class and we were singing a song with the word "yearning" in it and I thought it was a dirty word)... Geeze, that ADD medicine just doesn't seem to be cutting it today. Then the P.A. announces the doctor will come in to meet me.... "He likes to

meet his patients with their clothes on first." I have always heard that men mentally strip you down within seconds of meeting you, so I'm kinda wondering what the point is, but then I'm like... "Oh! That's comforting." More waiting then the handle on the door turns and in walks... The Doctor? He didn't look like a doctor, he looked like a kid imitating a doctor. His scrubs were mismatched and frayed and wrinkled. He was wearing ratty old converse sneakers that he had probably had for about 25 years (if in fact he was even that old)with no socks. His hair was dark and shaggy and by gosh if there weren't several strands of gray waving around in there. He introduced himself, shook my hand and then as I watch with my mouth hanging open in utter surprise, he kneels on the little rolly chair with both his feet tucked under him like a 3 year old. With my chart on the table in front of him, he puts his elbows on the table, leans in and asked... "So, what's going on?" Immediately my eyes look toward all four

corners for those dang cameras. I am amazed and a little confused because... A)These people are way too chipper! I'm like the lady on when Harry met Sally, "I'll take some of what she's having." B)Doctors don't sit on their feet! I sit on my feet! but Doctors are suppose to be tidy,old, refined and maybe a little condescending... This guy is none of those things.C)He expressed a desire to help me "Make my uterus happy." Yes, you read correctly, that is a direct quote. Just like the Mammo lady, he was very animated, to the point that he actually clapped his hands like a small child when he learned I had a TBI last year. He practically begged me to allow him to help me with that recovery because he found it "Intriguing" and he said he enjoyed working with people who have had a brain injury because no one else would do it because it wasn't "Glamorous" and it took a lot of time and research, not an easy surgery fix. Light! Action! Cameras!!! He was so joyful, he had even me believing that I could have a happy uterus as I practically skipped out of his office like a schoolgirl at recess. I'm actually looking forward to my next gyno appt.! How weird is that?!? Yesterday was a treat! It was like going to the dentist, as a child, and looking forward to the bubblegum stuff they put in your mouth or the sticker they give you afterwards... It may not actually make what happened in between any better, but it sure seemed like it did. Besides, you know the old saying... "If the uterus isn't happy, ain't nobody going to be happy." That's a fact Jack!

Fleeting

2011-07-19T21:01:00.000-05:00

Life is but a vapor. Conquer your fears, release your regrets, capture the present and count your blessings like the petals of a rose. Make memories with the ones you love and place them in the treasure chest of the heart. The hands of time continues to tick- tock and too soon today will be a distant dream of what was, or would have been. Life is fleeting, capture it when you can. Make every second count.

Thinking of You!

2011-07-15T08:25:00.000-05:00

Today is the birthday of my step son. His life tragically ended just as it was beginning. He taught our family to live every day as if it were your last, to never underestimate the power of a smile, and that every child deserves the strength of family ties and family connections. Happy Birthday Ritchie....

Star Wars vs Heart Wars... Memories for Sale

2011-07-14T08:59:00.000-05:00

Sometimes Motherhood is like a swift punch in the gut. Like when your daughter comes home and says she is quitting college and joining the Navy, or your oldest son says he wants to be like the missionary in the movie "The End of the Spear" where the missionary just happens to have a plane crash in a remote area and is killed by a tribe of uncivilized natives, or when the baby of the family doesn't want you to hold his hand any more when you walk him to school. Punch in the gut, that's what it is. This morning I had a punch in the gut experience. My husband announces Sunday that we (as if he has a mouse in his pocket) are having a garage sale this week during the "World's Largest Garage Sale" which is our little towns attempt at claim to fame. Duncan America has had like 30+ days of over 100 degree weather. There have been several days where the heat index has been 120+. First of all, for the record and since I'm not interested in being politically correct... July is the worst time of year (IMO) to have "The World's Largest Garage Sale", simply because it is so hot. Secondly... I HATE HAVING GARAGE SALES!!!! To the very core of my being I hate having a garage sale. Yes, I'm not embarrassed to admit, I threw a huge hissie fit!!! It's one--hundred--and--seven--freaking--degrees outside! This does not sound like a good idea. In his typical, too sweet for his own good way, my husband assures me that he will take off work, get everything

together and he will work the garage sale. Admittedly, that's a little better but I still pouted about it for a couple of days. So, anyway he was outside in the driveway this morning as I was leaving for work. I stop to kiss him goodbye and look around and the mess (so thankful I'm going to work). I notice my youngest son's tub of Star Wars figures (he has about a thousand). The longer I stood there and looked at them, the more the memories came flooding back. Even as a toddler his OCD was alive and well. When he was as young as 2-3 his toys were categorized in separate drawers. Star Wars Characters in one drawer, the weapons in another, accessories in yet another drawer. He kept his little cars separated from his dinosaurs and he only played with like toys at one time. For instance he would not play with dinosaurs and cars at the same time because they didn't go together. It really was very interesting. I questioned my husband about the wisdom in selling these particular things... What if we have grandchildren some day??? I know it's a stretch right now, but it could happen. I told my Oldest son as he left for his African mission trip to bring me back a moon-faced African baby, so... It could happen. He assures me that we can always go buy our grandchildren Star Wars toys if we ever have one... "But that's not the same as having the same ones he held in his little chubby hands!" As my husband reasoned with me that in all practicality we did not need to keep the thousands of Star Wars toys he actually said... "See this one isn't even out of the box yet." Well, DUH! That's because he wouldn't let him open it because some day it would be a collector's item (eye roll)... "I don't even know why we have all these things still in their boxes" he says. I threw up my hands and said "That's because you bought everything they had in that little store in Eureka Springs!! You even had the guy take you into his basement and our Volkswagen Bug was filled LITERALLY to the roof with boxes of Star Wars crap!!!" He agreed to go through the stuff and pick out some to keep, which I argued wasn't the really the same as not selling it at all, but I didn't have time to argue long cause I had to go to work. My bottom lip was hanging as low

to the ground as it could go (and may have even been quivering a little) as I got in the car. My heart ached, my eyes burned with tears and I felt like the last little bit of my kids childhood was being sold to the highest bidder. At the core of it all, it wasn't about Star Wars toys, it was about the war going on in my heart about seeing my youngest child's childhood slipping away... At not knowing what the next chapter in the story may hold... Sometimes Motherhood is like a swift punch in the gut.

Rock a Bye Baby

2011-07-13T13:31:00.000-05:00

Today I attended the funeral of a former co-worker's 1 year old baby boy. As a parent, I can't think of a greater tragedy than to lose a child, especially one so young. The slide show at the beginning of the service showed a beautiful and robust baby that had the face of an angel. I can't imagine how empty his Mother's arms must feel today.I know people say you're not suppose to ask why, but I don't know how you keep from it. One thing I do know is he was a lucky little boy to have been given to such a loving family. I believe the memories he left behind in their hearts and minds will ultimately overshadow any questions they have as to why. May God sing a lullaby of peace to their heart as He rocks their baby goodbye.

Scatter Joy!!!!

2011-07-12T13:22:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Oklahoma where the dirt is red and the grass is.... Crunchy! We do everything in Oklahoma halfway, that's why we only have two seasons... Hot and cold. If you want more seasons than that, I suggest you move someplace else. LOL! You think I'm kidding? Trust me I'm not. Summertime means travel (any place but here sound good to me), and my oldest son has once again put his travelin pants on (actually he rarely takes them off) and is headed to the wilds of Africa. Mission is his passion. It's a passion he shares with several of his friends. He has a really neat group of friends that just scatter joy wherever they go. For the next 3 weeks they'll be scattering joy to the far corners of the earth. You can bet the grass never grows crunchy under his feet because he doesn't stay in one place long enough for it to grow. My prayer is the seeds he sows this summer will flourish and change the world. How about your joy??? Go out and scatter joy!

...and Justice for All

2011-07-06T12:47:00.000-05:00

Riveted!!! I know, I sound like a talking head on T.V., but it's the only way to describe my my interest in the sad case of Casey Anthony. I was memorized and perplexed by the case from the very first report of her missing child. In the beginning it completely boggled my mind as to how a mother with any maternal instincts whatsoever, could not report her child missing. Sadly, three years and a trial later, it still boggles my mind. Regardless of how the case is dissected, analyzed or debated, it still comes out a puzzle with several pieces missing. It's safe to say we will never know what happened or who was involved. Today when I heard the verdict and I read and heard some reactions to it, this was the mental picture that came to mind....

John 8

Jesus went across to Mount Olives, but he was soon back in the Temple again. Swarms of people came to him. He sat down and taught them.The religion scholars and Pharisees led in a woman who had been caught in an act of adultery. They stood her in plain sight of everyone and said, "Teacher, this woman was caught red-handed in the act of adultery. Moses, in the Law, gives orders to stone such persons. What do you say?" They were trying to trap him into saying something incriminating so they could bring charges against him.Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger in the dirt. They kept at him, badgering him. He straightened up and said, "The sinless one among you, go first: Throw the stone." Bending down again, he wrote some more in the dirt. Hearing that, they walked away, one after another, beginning with the oldest. The woman was left alone. Jesus stood up and spoke to her. "Woman, where are they? Does no one condemn you?" "No one, Master."
"Neither do I," said Jesus. "Go on your way. From now on, don't sin."

Before the trial began, the judge spoke to the jury. In essence he told them that the accused entered the court room an innocent woman. Although she had been accused of crimes, the burden to prove her guilt was up to the state. Until that burden had been met, she remained an innocent woman. I let that settle in for a moment and it changed the way I viewed the rest of the trial. I came to realize that not only should I look at the trial differently, I should approach my day to day interactions differently. I've been guilty of putting people in a box due to past interactions with them, taping the lid shut, never to allow them to break out of "the box" to hurt me again. Likewise, I've had people put me in a box due to interactions, which may have been harsh, irrational, or simply just taken wrong, and there I am, sitting in a dark closed in box, usually of my own making. Casey will forever be known as at best, the woman who did not report her child missing, or at worse, got away with murder. Regardless of what good she may move on to do on this earth, she will never be able to escape the box that her actions has put her in. Thank God for mercy!!! What do you think Jesus wrote in the dirt? The 10 commandments? Sins he knew had been committed by those surrounding the woman? Names? Whatever it was, it settled into the hearts of the woman's accusers and they dropped their rocks and walked away. Something tells me they didn't have their heads held high. Sometimes I forget that I'm not as "good" as I want to be, and will look at others with judgement.... Then I remember who I really am. I'm greatly flawed, yet tenderly loved by a merciful God. My prayer is to be able to look at others and remember that they are the same. I'll throw my rocks down and remember if it wasn't for Mercy, justice for all would be harsh on every one of us.... Me included.

Stars and Stripes Forever

2011-07-01T08:46:00.001-05:00

Freedom? Independence? This weekend we celebrate both. We live in the greatest nation on earth, yet are becoming more and more ensnared by the freedoms we celebrate. It's time America reclaim the freedom we have fought and died to attain. The reason our nation has been blessed, is because it was built on the foundation of faith. The farther we get from that foundation, the less freedom we enjoy. The Star of David came to give us life. He bore stripes on his back so we may be healed. It's time we embrace the true stars and stripes so that the flag that signifies our freedom will continue to be a symbol of freedom.

2 Chronicles 7:14

King James Version (KJV)

¹⁴If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Fool Me Once

2011-06-29T21:47:00.000-05:00

After the rabbit hole ordeal last year, I had a hard time getting my groove back. I bet I didn't cook dinner a dozen times in 12 months. Sitting upright in my chair a whole work day was a major feat... Staying up past 5:30 in the evening was a event worth celebrating. I've been trying to redeem myself this year with consistent grocery shopping, regular dinners and geeze it's past 9:00 and I'm wide eyed. The whole "regular dinner" thing is really starting to get on my nerves. It's hard to do creative cooking every night, or at least it is for me. I try to mix it up but it's easy to get stuck in a cooking rut. This week I thought I deserved a break so I bought a hefty spiral sliced ham and planned on just adding different side dishes. I figured we'd be sick of ham by the end of the week, but I usually only do hams on a holiday so I didn't think it would be that big of a deal. Tonight I got home, sprawled out on the bed to

watch the heart wrenching news coverage of the Casey Anthony trial. When my husband got home he joined me and listened while I rattled off my theories and commentary. Lucky him to get to live with his very own, yet tad more balanced version of Nancy Grace! After watching me rant at the T.V. like a.... Well, a "fair and balanced" correspondent for the show, I told him we were just having ham sandwiches for dinner. I'm a lucky lady because he was actually fine with that idea, he just wanted to cool off and chill out a bit longer so he joined me in the den while I fixed myself a sandwich. Since I knew he would be in the kitchen in a few minutes to get some ham, I left it sitting (nice and pretty) on the kitchen cabinet. I didn't even give it a second thought until he later called me in the kitchen with a pathetically sad face. Looking as dejected as a basset hound he said.... "You know I really was looking forward to having some of that ham for dinner." Granted... I was starving as I hadn't had anything except an orange and a fiber bar all day long, but I swear my sandwich only had a couple of

pieces of ham on it.... There was plenty of ham for him to have tonight and all of next week it he wanted to. Then I looked at the counter top.... No ham! Not even a speck of ham where the ham had been. I looked at him, just started to form my question when I heard my Mastiff lapping up water like a buffalo. I looked at her, I looked at him and I asked.... "Where?" He just turned around and on the floor was the hock of where the ham had been, all the while Sailor was still sucking up water. Sailor turned and looked over her shoulder... (do dogs actually have shoulders?). When she saw the look on our faces she instantly tried to morph into a 175lb invisible dust mite. It didn't work. In unison we said (in our most stern parental voices) "Bad girl!!! Go to your bed!!!" She ducked her tail and ran to her kennel wishing

to god she could take her water bowl with her. I promised my husband the sun, moon and stars for dinner.... Anything his little heart desired, because I can take ham or leave it, but he really likes his ham. Note to self.... When your dog is a head taller than the counter top, thou shalt not turn your back on the spiral cut ham. End of story. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

You Lead Me Down a Path I Cannot Follow

2011-06-27T22:13:00.000-05:00

A song that's sung with eerie sorrow...

Whispers gently in my ear...

Risk the moment with indulgent pleasures...

Fulfill the now of hollow years...

Tomorrow seems so far away...

Attainment out of reach...

Endanger of the dream expiring...

A lesson true my soul does teach...

Quick a glance behind my shoulder...

A vision of what's left behind...

The knowledge of a solace verdict...

Upon the heart no longer mine...

I contemplate the course before me...

Calculate the cost thereof...

Deduce the burden much too precious...

Transparency to rise above...

And though my heart does long to forfeit...

Certain boundaries with no restraint...

I cannot justify or reason...

The complex price that will be paid...

Forsake my heart in all it's sorrow

Knowing that I cannot choose...

The path to which I cannot follow...

A dream in which my heart I lose...

Please Don't Feed the Raccoon

2011-06-27T11:43:00.002-05:00

Being an insomniac can be kind of lonely. There is no one up at 3 in the morning to play with, infomercials have proven to be very bad for the budget, and I read until my eyes practically bleed anyway so... What's a girl to do? This weekend I was up watching a spider weave a web outside our bathroom window during my insomniatic spell. I also waited intensely for the raccoon that frequents our bathroom window to appear. Everyone in the family has seen him peering through the window in the wee hours of the night except me. Typical since I'm the only one who would really get a kick out of peering back at him. As I stood there in the early hours of Saturday morning I decided to entice him to the window with a can of cat food. I waited until I was too drowsy to wait any more and went back to bed. First thing Saturday morning I went to see if the can of cat food was still there. It was gone. Saturday night I tried again. Sunday morning, the can was gone. Sunday night my husband came to bed and asked me if I had put cat food out for the raccoon again. "Well, yeah!" I said. He sweetly tried to reason with me that he didn't think it was a good idea to feed the raccoon, to which I vehemently (but sweetly) disagreed. He suggested that if I insisted on feeding the raccoon to at least feed it the dry cat food.... This is my reasoning.... "Dry cat food? What's special about dry cat food? A raccoon gets all the dry cat food it wants in the neighborhood. If I put canned cat food out, our house will be special."... He just looked at me like Ricky Ricardo used to look at Lucille Ball when she would do something especially hair brained. He sighed, smiled and gave me a kiss goodnight. You just can't win against a insomniac, they have all night long to plot their debate.

Gator Gate Deters Thievery!!!!

2011-06-22T13:10:00.002-05:00

You know you just can't trust people these days. If you have something that's not nailed down, they'll be happy to take it off your hands when you're not looking. The company I work for, operate several oil leases in Louisiana. Our new security system is aimed at decreasing oilfield theft. We've taken measures to make sure our leases are closely guarded and secure. The new system monitors all activities coming to and from the lease. Although it's size ranges from 11' to 12', it's very well camouflaged and inconspicuous. Our "Gator Gate" has been quite effective in deterring thievery for which we have absolutely no tolerance.

The Itch!!

2011-06-21T11:34:00.000-05:00

I have desperately been trying to curb my shoe buying obsession in the last few months. I'm starting to feel the itch that's certain to require a scratch. Just for the record, I'm asking forgiveness in advance :-)

“I don’t know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot!” – Marilyn Monroe

Your Birth Story

2011-06-17T08:25:00.000-05:00

Three years and two days after the birth of our daughter, we welcomed our second child, a boy into the family. In accordance with my need for everything to be done in a timely manner, I was scheduled to be induced on his due date.... I know, I know, it's a little extreme, but the doctor assured me he was ready and it just worked better with my parents since they wanted to be here for the birth. My husband and I left for the hospital early the morning of his arrival, leaving my three year old at home with my parents. They would give us time to settle in and bring her to the hospital as the labor progressed. That was the plan!!! Shortly after my induction I began to remember all of the reasons you tell yourself you'll never have another child. It's amazing how the memory of the pain of labor fades as the thrill of being a parent escalates. I was just getting to that really cranky stage, when you look at your husband with simmering rage as if the pain is all his fault. After all, if men were tougher, they'd be the ones to deliver the children (can I hear an amen). I glanced over as my husband calmly flipped through the magazines he had gotten from the gift shop. Seconds before I began my verbal assault on him for being too comfortable while my insides were being ripped out by a alien being, the nurse ran into my room, slapped an oxygen mask on
my face and literally threw the head of my bed down and jacked the foot of my bed all the way up. She was shouting orders and seemed to be in a very big hurry for God only knows what reason. The activity did manage to drag my husband away from his magazine article as the doctor and anaesthesiologist begin to grill him on exactly how many ice chips I had ingested that morning. They explained to us that the heart monitor showed the baby was in severe distress and an emergency c-section would be done immediately. The last thing I remember is asking.... "Is my baby okay?" then I was out like a light. Can someone explain to me why nurses find it necessary to shout at you when you are waking up for anesthesia??? It always seems like they have a megaphone placed right up against your ear as they shout your name and give your orders to wake up. There I am, in such a comfortable, foggy
happy place when the nurses begin shouting for me to wake up. Then I hear my husband's sweet voice as he says... "Hey Jackie, we have a beautiful baby boy.".... All of the irritation left when I heard those words and I only wanted to know one thing..... "Is he okay, is my baby okay?" My husband responded that he was absolutely perfect in every way. Then I slipped back into nothingness for a little while. When I woke up (no yelling required) I was hooked up to tubes and it really did feel like my insides had been ripped out. But I had a beautiful baby boy, so it was totally worth it. My husband walked into the room as my little one lay asleep in his crib. I looked at him and told my husband.... "He's going to be our quiet one."... Those are the words I will forevermore laugh about. He wasn't my quiet one, he was just hungover from the anesthetic that had put me in the fog. Days later, he awoke from his fog and I quickly learned he was not going to be my quiet one, but my very lively one. When I wrote his birth story last year he said.... "I don't think I ever remember hearing my birth story before." The reason would be, because I could never get him to sit still long enough to listen to his birth story, and that's a fact! 25 years later he is still on the move. He has rambled and roved on road trip to road trip, from state to state with his friends. He has taken the gospel to the uttermost parts of the earth. He is all about doing, going, seeing and experiencing. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a fear in the world and trusts in the Lord always. Happy Birth Day Bubba! You make me so proud.

The Birth of a Sailor

2011-06-15T07:31:00.000-05:00

One of the birthday traditions with my kids is for me to re-tell them their birth story on their birthday. To be honest, my first born is the only one who really appreciates this tradition and that is probably because she is a sentimental sap like her Mom. With your first child everything is a big deal. I started wearing maternity clothes the week I found out I was pregnant.... Well maybe not literally but I sure wanted to. The pregnancy went off without a hitch. We did the childbirth class thing, read books, did all the things new parents do to assure their child will not grow up to be twisted maniacs, like their parents. The morning of my due date I was so disappointed that I did not have one sign the books say you will notice when the birth is near. Not a pain, not a twinge, none of the gross stuff that goes on down under.... Zip. My husband came home for lunch and I was fit to be tied. They said my due date was on the 15th of June and by gosh today was the 15th of June and time was a-wasting, according to my rules of all things must happen according to plan and schedule. Little did I know that children have their owns rules about plans and schedules. I walked my husband out the door after lunch and he held me and patted me as he assured me that it would be soon. No one likes having a hysterical pregnant woman on their hands and he was happy to be headed back to work for the afternoon. I on the other hand had wifely chores that needed to be done which included taking the laundry to my Mother-In-Law's house to use her washer as ours was out. I loaded up the laundry and headed to her house with as sad a face as you have ever seen. After my clothes finished washing, I loaded them back into the car and took them home to dry. On the way home I felt kind of.... Icky. I loaded the clothes in the dryer and laid down to rest and watch General Hospital. When General Hospital ended, I didn't feel any better so I called my Mother-In-Law to see if my ickiness could be a sign of labor, which she assured me it was. She informed me she would be right
over to take me to the hospital. I made my phone calls, had my bags ready (as per instructions from birthing class) and waited for her to arrive. Somewhere between her house and my house my quiet, meek, frail, Mother-In-Law had turned into a panic stricken drill Sergent who was large and in charge weighing in at a whole 98 pounds. I was stunned speechless as she ran in the house and grabbed everything out of my arms and ordered me into the car. What had they done to my Mother-In-Law and who was this woman impersonating her??? As we sped away in the car (like we wouldn't make it to the hospital a whole 1/2 mile from the house in time for the delivery), my husband drove up and headed in to change clothes. When we arrived at the hospital, she jumped out of the car and practically carried me into the hospital... Apparently she felt the need for urgency but I'm not quite sure why. Everybody got settled in ready for a long night, but that was not to be. My precious baby girl had the same quirky disposition for promptness as her Mother. She arrived at 8:39 p.m. on June the 15th, 1983. She entered this world jabbering like a magpie in the delivery room. When her jabbering turned to

cries, her Daddy gently bent over her, she grabbed his finger and she quieted as he began to sing the ABC song as he had done every night while I had carried her. She was spunky, she was head strong and little did we know that some day she would be a Sailor in the United States Navy. Happy Birthday Sissy!!!! We are so proud of the woman you have become.

Feather in Your Cap

2011-06-14T14:38:00.000-05:00

I'm all about fighting growing old tooth and toenail. I have a book entitled "How Not to Look Old" by Charla Krupp which I give as birthday presents to all of my girlfriends. Even though it's warned against in the book,I've said many times, they will have to pry my stilettos and my frosted eyeshadow out of my cold dead hands. I love sparkle and bling is my thing. I do have my limits however, and I will not succumb to peer pressure to get a feather! If you are like I was, you're saying.... "Feather, what feather?" A friend of mine was sporting a new haircut the other day that was adorably cute. After commenting on her new do she turned her head and said.... "Do you like my feather?" On the side of her head she had a strand of red that streaked through her blond hair. "A feather? What the heck is that?" I asked. "It's a feather, silly. You'll have to get one next time you go get your hair done. They stay in for like 6 weeks and come in all different colors." Maybe I'm dull, maybe I'm not as edgy as some, or maybe I'm just old and grumpy,but I will not be getting a feather weaved into my hair!! The next week I went to the beauty shop to get my highlights highlighted. My stylist asked me if I wanted a feather to which quickly replied.... "NO!", she laughed at me and told me I really should get a feather. "No, no, no, feather! I'm 48 years old and I just don't think someone my age needs a feather in their hair." But according to her, "Everybody is doing it!" First of all, I've never really cared what everyone else was wearing. Second of all, I looked in my "How Not to Look Old" book and there isn't a chapter addressing the wearing of feathers in your hair after a certain age. Why would I break one rule (like frosted eye shadow) and not break them all, because even if I was 16 I don't think I would want a feather and if everybody else is doing it then that's the perfect reason for me not to have a feather in my hair. I think... And this is my own opinion, the first rule of how not to look old is to be willing to try new things while being very aware of where your style comfort zone lies. Being confident enough to set your own style trend is a feather in your cap regardless of your age.

A Moment In Time

2011-06-09T15:54:00.000-05:00

A moment in time...

Long slipped away...

The feel of your lips...

On my lips will stay...

A moment in time...

When forever was new...

Like a night full of stars...

Every dream was of you...

A moment in time...

As sand in a glass...

Precious and few....

Too soon it did pass...

A moment in time...

Like a dirt road at night...

When the moon spread it's beauty...

Your arms held me tight...

A moment in time...

I will never forget...

Just a moment in time...

I would love to re-live...

Homesick

2011-06-08T08:25:00.000-05:00

There are times, as a friend I feel so inadequate. This morning I was getting ready for work, making my bed, doing all the things you do in the morning before you leave for the day. My phone rang and I knew instantly from the caller ID that this was not going to be good news. A good friend of mine had called a few weeks ago to tell me her Father-in-law had been diagnosed with Lymphoma. This morning she called to let me know he has lost the battle. My heart just sunk to my knees. She has lost so many immediate family members in the last few years... It's hard to understand. I'm a fixer and would do anything in the world, absolutely anything to make things easier for her and her family. But sometimes, regardless of how much you love someone, all you can do is love them. On my way to work I was thinking... "What can I do? What should I do?" In my heart I know all I can do is love her and pray for the family. The fixer side of me will make a big batch of macaroni and cheese tonight to take over to them. I can only hope that in every once of cheese, butter and cream, the depth of my love can be felt. I know with each passing day she has more and more reason to feel homesick like never before.

Consistent With Just a Tad of Flash

2011-06-06T11:55:00.000-05:00

Saturday I had the pleasure of participating in the annual golf scramble for the company I work for. I was on a different team this year and there wasn't quite the same level of unhealthy competition as I enjoyed last year. LOL! Our team did come in 3rd, which may not give me bragging rights (and all the production office says AMEN), but it's still pretty good for someone who is way more worried about her outfit than her swing. Shallow, I know! One of my teammates was a retiree who turned 90 in May. I wondered if he felt remotely as sore as I did this morning and that is just sad! He's a little bitty guy about the size of a toothpick. He gets around pretty good for a 90 year old.... Slow but sure. When he would tee off, he looked barely able to swing the club. He didn't swing hard and fast, he did it slow,deliberate and straight as an arrow every time. I don't think we had to hunt his ball down one time (or retrieve it "out of the shade" as I call it)! He nabbed us 3 birdies (why do they call it that?).He didn't have any flashy moves, no elaborate stance, just sharp, steady, consistent playing. When I got home, I thought to myself... "That's a good way to approach life"... Sharp, steady and consistent(but I need to add a little flash once in a while just to keep it interesting).

Tangible

2011-06-03T08:20:00.000-05:00

It was faint, it was fragile, it was crystal clear, seldom from my mind. Locked beneath a treasure chest, a capsule of captured time. Intangibly it sat upon, yet hidden in clear sight. Surrounded by my tight gripped hand, protected with all my might. A symbol of the tides of life, washed upon the shore. Guarded so the memory dear was precious but nothing more. I took from that which never was a tangible delight, and displayed the thing which meant the most from a love I could never hide.

Hair's the Deal of Self Expression

2011-06-02T14:57:00.000-05:00

I grew up the baby of the family which is a pretty sweet deal. Of course I was the baby out of two kids, so I'm sure that makes a difference. I didn't have to struggle to find my place in the family dynamics because all I had to do was be polar opposite of my brother and title myself as unique. I will totally agree that the oldest child has the suckiest position, even in my little nest of three (sorry child with the middle child syndrome). Everything with your first child is a HONKIN' big deal... The first steps, the first tooth, the first everything is just huge. As far as discipline goes, I wanted my first to be perfect. I didn't want a child no one else wanted to be around so I was way more strict with her than the other two. Plus the first child has to break the parents in.... Kids don't come with instructions so it's trial by error and the first child gets stuck with most of the bad parenting decisions (this according to the parenting book of Jackie). By the second child you are pretty much just trying to keep your head above the water and keep them from killing one another, not much time for a big honkin' deal about anything. With the third child there's a little bit of the, "been there, done that" feeling added to the exhaustion of parenting period till it's a hope and prayer they make it through childhood alive. My two oldest kids, who are now both adults, freely admit the baby got all the breaks. They paved the way for him, wore me completely out, and he got the a shell of the parent I once was.... Sweet deal. He's probably had a little more trouble distinguishing who he is against two, not one, polar opposite personalities. His biggest distinguishing mark is he is super, super, quiet!!! I'm not sure he really embraces that as his unique trait. So he's doing what a lot of kids do and is using his hair to make a statement. His older brother tried this trick, but when he let his hair grow out it grew into beautiful shiny ebony ringlets. Everybody loved his hair, me included, which totally stole his thunder and took the joy out of the whole deal. So the baby has let his hair get long. It's been dark, it's been light and just recently I dyed it black. The black actually looks pretty good. It's really shiny, he got a cool cut, yet it's still funky long. If I had my rathers, it would probably be cropped short and left his natural color. In looking at the great scheme of things (and really being too tired to argue), his hair is nothing less, nothing more than a means of self-expression.... A way of distinguishing himself from the rest of the pack. I know deep down inside he secretly hopes it drives me bonkers, but sadly I went there years ago.

Partnership

2011-05-30T19:07:00.000-05:00

Awe, the ending to a great three day weekend. One of the best things about marriage is the team work. We've always worked well as a team. No fussing, no fighting, no harsh words, we just work well together. This weekend we worked together and got a lot done. I'll go back to work tired, but satisfied that we actually accomplished something. We didn't do anything big, didn't go any place fun, just enjoyed being together and doing things that needed to be done. The strength of a true partnership is in the daily things, the mundane things, the simple things. I can say without a doubt we got those bases covered.... And we're not too bad when it come to the spectacular things as well. It's all just very comfortable and good. Now if life would just provide more three day weekends....

Wrestle Not

2011-05-27T09:12:00.001-05:00

It was gaping, wounded, bleeding,sore...

It called for closure, but longed for more...

With thirst it sought to fill the need...

With selfish want and endless greed...
No thought, no reason to the cost...

No contemplating further loss...
And yet beneath the burning fire...
Of tempting fate and great desire...
Stood a cross that bore the shame...
Filled the void and healed the pain...
Restored the tender to the heart...

Erased the sin and tossed afar..

And once again the soul to mend...
My Savior, Father, Mentor, Friend...

Ephesians 6:12

¹²For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Going Fishing in a "No Fishing Zone"

2011-05-23T08:20:00.000-05:00

I've come to the realization that during a lifetime there are things that although I might get past.... I will never truly get over. I can't change the past, but I've been given the gift of now. If you've ever had now almost taken away from you, you appreciate it more than ever. I'm snuggling up close and personal to forgiveness... Not just spiritual forgiveness (and thank God for it), but personal forgiveness, toward myself.... Toward others. Maybe that's not a big deal to some people, but it's a huge deal to me. I would consider myself long suffering, but when I'm done with a situation or a person.... I'm done! I have a tendency to cast them into the sea of forgetfulness with no life boat or life vest in sight. I'm just being brutally honest here. I don't want to be that way. When my mind wants to rehash the over and done with, I'm learning to push those memories aside and lean on prayer as protective barrier. People screw up, people hurt your feelings. Situations are created by screwed up, hurting people who have their own agendas. It's not intentional, it's just our nature. That being the said, I probably need to throw a life boat out to a lot of people and at lot of situations I've been in over the last 40something years. Thank God, Christ tossed my sins in the sea of forgetfulness, instead of tossing me in, which let's be honest, would probably have been easier. I'm guilty of tossing the whole kit and caboodle... Forever and ever amen! Perhaps it's time to go fishing, in a previously posted "No Fishing Zone".